Flying RANT!

RandallFlagg

Just flew back from Berlin with RyanAir...for fucks sake.

I don't like being around the general public at the best of times, not really a people person, much prefer wildlife and a few close friends, family and a couple of work colleagues. I am generally a miserable cunt unless spoken to nicely with something warm, funny, charming, polite or intelligent....and I hate small talk.

Anyway, full flight back from Schonefeld and I observe the following irritating behaviour which slows down boarding enormously:

1) People board with full coat, hat, scarf, etc on only to take these off while standing in aisle holding everyone up. Take that shit off at the gate fold coat over arm ready to put in overhead bin to save time onboard.

2) People find their seat and then decide to try to walk back against the flow of on boarding passengers to go to the toilet holding everyone up. Go at the toilets near the gate before you board

Further irritation:

People who eat on short haul flights (it was 1hr 30m) stinking the cabin out with whatever shite RyanAir are force feeding the cattle these days. You're paying through the nose to eat barely edible shite in a hugely cramped environment banging elbows with someone who wishes you would die...eat before you fly muppet.

It's not hard is it?

Sambostar

Remind me to save my rancid dump for the plane toilet when we next board a flight together.  You should fly continental USA.  Loads of fat people and argumentative old ladies in purple towelling onesies who are apparently too weak to put their carry on's in the overhead lockers and bring on three massive cases, all full of essential medication.

slacker

I flew to Belfast Monday and not only did 1 happen but all three people doing it then discussed what seat was theirs.

ICBM

Try not flying RyanAir.

You get a better class of riff-raff on EasyJet .

Axe_meister

Just get some noiseless headphones and chill. I fly about twice a week at the moment. I just shut the rest of the world out.

RandallFlagg

Sambostar said:

Remind me to save my rancid dump for the plane toilet when we next board a flight together.  You should fly continental USA.  Loads of fat people and argumentative old ladies in purple towelling onesies who are apparently too weak to put their carry on's in the overhead lockers and bring on three massive cases, all full of essential medication.

I fly To US and Mexico regularly, often once a month, and fly continental within both contries regulary on each trip. Last 2 week trip to Mexico was 10 flights home to home, I went to 7 locations within Mexico from the Sonora desert, Mexicali to Campeche on the Yucutan peninsula next to Guatemala. Passed through Mexico City 3 times (most internal flights in Mexico connect through Mexico City)

I like the Mexican airlines Aeromexico and Interjet, any Mexicans in general, much more pleasant to travel alongside


Oh, and I would love to spend 7 hours next to you on a flight, you would bore me to sleep within minutes

randella

I hate flying, it murders my back apart from anything else.  Plus airports these days seem to be purpose-built by SAS psychologists to cleverly induce a subtle but significant level of background stress.

After years of this, I came to the following conclusion: planes are cramped, food smells, people need the bog from time to time.  Get your seat, stare out the window for a couple of hours and get off at the other end - life's short, getting wound up about someone eating a £7 bacon sandwich next to you only makes it shorter.  Get some noise-cancelling cans (I've got some big old Sennys, they're absolutely magic) like @Axe_meister and you're 75% of the way there. If all of that fails, and it sometimes does, booze. 

Cirrus

Flying is absolutely amazing. You're miles up in the sky with the entire world stretched out beneath you and can go anywhere on the globe in a matter of hours. The fact people find reasons to complain about that says more about people than it does about flying.

randella

Cirrus said:

Flying is absolutely amazing. You're miles up in the sky with the entire world stretched out beneath you and can go anywhere on the globe in a matter of hours. The fact people find reasons to complain about that says more about people than it does about flying.

A fair point, it is a marvel.  I love landing the best, and whether it's software doing the job, or the pilot wiggling a stick (steady!) it still amazes me when they slap that thing down on the tarmac. 

I think RandallFlagg's original point (which I fully understand) is that all the attendant guff involved in modern commercial aviation makes the overall experience a load of balls, to put not too fine a point on it.

stickyfiddle

I was in and out of Kuwait this week. Same shit, apart from the hat/scarf/coat thing, which isn't an issue here

People are idiots though. It's the same with security. Everyone holding a bag that can carry everything they need only decide to even think about emptying their pockets when they get to the front of the queue. I have my wallet, phone, watch and anything else in the front pocket of my carry-on while I'm queueing so when I get there all I need to do is chuck my bag and belt in the tray and keep moving. 

Ultimately it's just people who don't fly regularly. They can't help it, but that doesn't stop it being irritating.

Cirrus

randella said:

I think RandallFlagg's original point (which I fully understand) is that all the attendant guff involved in modern commercial aviation makes the overall experience a load of balls, to put not too fine a point on it.

I understood his point, I'm just saying he's looking at it the wrong way (unless he *enjoys* being annoyed, I know some do...) I'm just saying that not too far in the past, that same journey would have taken days and been infinitely more rubbish. And not too far before that, you're talking about sea crossings in pretty uncomfortable conditions.

ICBM

stickyfiddle said:

I was in and out of Kuwait this week. Same shit, apart from the hat/scarf/coat thing, which isn't an issue here

People are idiots though. It's the same with security. Everyone holding a bag that can carry everything they need only decide to even think about emptying their pockets when they get to the front of the queue. I have my wallet, phone, watch and anything else in the front pocket of my carry-on while I'm queueing so when I get there all I need to do is chuck my bag and belt in the tray and keep moving. 

Ultimately it's just people who don't fly regularly. They can't help it, but that doesn't stop it being irritating.

They need to watch 'Up In The Air', for the bit when Clooney is training the newbie...

It's not a bad film either, although I thought the twist was a bit predictable.

stickyfiddle

ICBM said:

stickyfiddle said:

I was in and out of Kuwait this week. Same shit, apart from the hat/scarf/coat thing, which isn't an issue here

People are idiots though. It's the same with security. Everyone holding a bag that can carry everything they need only decide to even think about emptying their pockets when they get to the front of the queue. I have my wallet, phone, watch and anything else in the front pocket of my carry-on while I'm queueing so when I get there all I need to do is chuck my bag and belt in the tray and keep moving. 

Ultimately it's just people who don't fly regularly. They can't help it, but that doesn't stop it being irritating.

They need to watch 'Up In The Air', for the bit when Clooney is training the newbie...

It's not a bad film either, although I thought the twist was a bit predictable.

I must re-watch that. I enjoyed it at the time but that was before I was regularly in and out of airports!

Reverend

ICBM said:

It's not a bad film either, although I thought the twist was a bit predictable.

Not seen it, was it that their were lots of snakes n the plane?

RandallFlagg

Cirrus said:

Flying is absolutely amazing. You're miles up in the sky with the entire world stretched out beneath you and can go anywhere on the globe in a matter of hours. The fact people find reasons to complain about that says more about people than it does about flying.

Agreed but after 30-40 flights a year and a 3 hour train journey from Heathrow to home, ofter getting in after 11pm, it gets a bit tiresome and I did qualify my rant with this:

"I don't like being around the general public at the best of times, not really a people person, much prefer wildlife and a few close friends, family and a couple of work colleagues. I am generally a miserable cunt" 

I get especially gnarly when surrounded by a lot of people in small spaces

Cirrus

And I'm saying, just don't worry about it. 

Thank me later. 

scrumhalf

Some people should simply not be allowed near a plane, unless it's on a flight where all the other passengers are of a similar lack of fundamental decency and the cabin crew have tasers.

Bygone_Tones

Other people suck, this is nothing new. It's how you deal with it that matters.