Accidentally performed a daemonic ritual and now my world is upside down...

William Williamson

My wife is very loving, but honestly doesn't give a crap about my music playing ability, songs or even any remote inclination towards what I do with my songwriting. I think the most she's commented was that a Jackson I had a few years ago 'was the prettiest'. So anyway, I joked with her many times coming up to Christmas "Hey, so that present doesn't look big enough to be my new guitar- luckily the shops are still open so you can go pick one up on Xmas Eve", and she would roll her eyes with a "You're definitely not getting one." 

Now my birthday is on the 8th of January. And it would appear that at some point over the Xmas period I invoked the outer-world god Nyarlathotep by some carelessly arranged salt shakers and port-infused mumbling - because when I said yesterday, "Hey this Gibson makes my pee-pee feel all funny <link>" she said "If it's a good deal, then go for it and that can be your birthday present".

Now, that immediately put me on the back foot - there must be something afloat: this is someone who darns her own socks and gets very angry when I buy a record! I can only assume the elder signs have brought forth something evil from beyond the walls of sleep.

Would appreciate any advice on how to banish dark gods.

In the meantime, I may be the owner of a Les Paul Standard in a few days (courtesy of @Adamski)

jonnyburgo

Get it while you can, she may thInk they are all about £100

octatonic

We share a birthday- obviously she bought it for me.

Hertz32

Divorce her, she clearly cheated on you and is feeling guilty   

Nah, I'm sure theres nothing untoward. Just be sure to do something equally nice for her for her birthday. Take her to center parcs maybe? 

mgaw

rather than trying to banish them i think you could get some business on here "sorting out" our wives

Sarge

Yep, she's cheating on you, find her little black book, confront her and demand a custom shop upgrade  

nick_s

Be wary, for there will be a shipment of Christian Louboutin shoes imminently.

Ravenous

William Williamson said:

"If it's a good deal, then go for it and that can be your birthday present".

Is any Gibson a good deal? Maybe that's the trap.

(Alternatively, to err is human so just be wicked and accept the punishment.)

thomasross20

She wants a baby in return

Teetonetal

thomasross20 said:

She wants a baby in return

That was my thought.

Adamski

Glad I could be of assistance! Now I know the back story I'm even happier for you dude. 

Having passed on many of my good deals to this lovely group I hope Karma looks at me fondly and MY other half tells me I can have something wonderful too! 


* actually even if your other half says I can have something that's a tenuous enough link for me! 

Bridgehouse

I had to wait 20 years to find mine but she's an absolute gem. Pretty much lets me do whatever I want, always encourages, shares my love of music and is awesome to be with.



Just need to sort the wife out now

CabbageCat

From the original post it sounds as though the present is not a Les Paul but the permission to buy a Les Paul.

If so that's the saddest story in the world.

I'm off to have a little cry.

William Williamson

CabbageCat said:

From the original post it sounds as though the present is not a Les Paul but the permission to buy a Les Paul.

If so that's the saddest story in the world.

I'm off to have a little cry.

Aw c'mon - just a bit of fun I would prefer my wife discuss and agree with me any purchase over a grand and would hope she'd feel equally pleased if I agreed it was a good idea...

Myranda

Hertz32 said:

Divorce her, she clearly cheated on you and is feeling guilty   

Nah, I'm sure theres nothing untoward. Just be sure to do something equally nice for her for her birthday. Take her to center parcs maybe? 

She's definitely cheating... I can't tell you how I know... but can you pass on the knickers she left here?

hotpot

Boy are you going to pay threefold for that guitar.

mixolyd

Dude your world was upside down: now it's the right way up.

This should be doubly terrifying to you.

ToneControl

Has she told you yet what  day the new  sofa and armchairs are arriving?

Axe_meister

At some point in the past (I must have been pissed) apparently I can buy any guitar I want but SWMBO has to get jewellery of the same value in return. I have not gassed in years.

William Williamson

It would seem due to mitigating circumstances the deal with @Adamski didn't come off, but I find out that she has, somehow, someway gone even further and surprised me with another mystery LP!? I await with bated breath and will post a NGD next week!

johnswiss

https://oypla.com/sports-leisure/musical-instruments/lp-les-paul-style-sunburst-6-string-full-sized-electric-guitar?gclid=CPjJyZ_roNECFQwSGwod7aoJKg