What was the biggest pile of scrap car you ever owned and tell us a bit about it. ( Volvo content )

Telejester

My one and only Volvo......Sigh.

1987 silver Volvo 340GL 1.7. What a pile of shit that thing turned out to be. Weighed about 100 tonnes and that underpowered excuse for an engine gave 25 miles to the gallon  on a run and sub 20 on town driving. Acceleration, don't make mme laugh.Rattles and squeaks by the bucket load and the carburetor, remember those ? ,gave up the ghost rapidly. Decided I would never own another Volvo......Ever.

Tell us about your worst pile of scrap car.

sweepy

1980 Lancia Beta Coupe, looked gorgeous but was an unreliable death trap . My late Father who was normally a whizz as a mechanic and general car whisperer found this very tidy blue Beta coupe for sensible money, MOT Tax etc etc. Popped over to Stratford after work to collect it, gave it a quick once over in the fading light and drove it home. About half way back I decided to, ahem, clear it's lungs, at about 70-80 it started to pitch and roll at an alarming rate, so much so that I nearly soiled the tasteful 80's orange and brown interior. When I got back, up it went on ramps and the torch came out, the only thing holding the engine and the car together was the front subframe,the bulkhead had lost the will to live when it came to nestling up to the inner wings !
i learnt a lot about welding with that car, would have another ?, damn right, In a heartbeat

TheBlueWolf

My first, which was a sky blue Mk 2 Ford Escort.

It allegedly came with an MOT etc but after a couple of months I'd realized it was literally stuck together with spit and sawdust, which was terrifying as I was a 20 year old boy racer. It had a manual choke too.

Bridgehouse

1996 Fiat Cunto GT Turbo.

Massively gut-wrenchingly quick for six months, followed by mind-blowingly 0mph slow for the rest of it's life.

60mph down an A road, followed by Christmas tree lights/Blackpool illuminations on the dash, a Not-very satisfying bang, then 0mph ad infinitum

mudslide73

Citroën C5 company car - brand new in 2001. Dashboard lights galore, random abs computer failure, glow plugs and pneumatic suspension failure. In one year. I used to have to call Green Flag out to get me started because something mysterious would flatten the battery. Sometimes I could see the suspension adjusting itself on the drive if it was windy. Nice drive and brilliant engine though with great economy. 

Telejester

sweepy said:

1980 Lancia Beta Coupe, looked gorgeous but was an unreliable death trap . My late Father who was normally a whizz as a mechanic and general car whisperer found this very tidy blue Beta coupe for sensible money, MOT Tax etc etc. Popped over to Stratford after work to collect it, gave it a quick once over in the fading light and drove it home. About half way back I decided to, ahem, clear it's lungs, at about 70-80 it started to pitch and roll at an alarming rate, so much so that I nearly soiled the tasteful 80's orange and brown interior. When I got back, up it went on ramps and the torch came out, the only thing holding the engine and the car together was the front subframe,the bulkhead had lost the will to live when it came to nestling up to the inner wings !
i learnt a lot about welding with that car, would have another ?, damn right, In a heartbeat

Ever try a Lancia delta ?

Is there any car that can demolish a front set of tyres quicker.

HAL9000

Same as the OP - A Volvo 340. It would vibrate its way through exhaust pipes and manifolds at a truly alarming rate. On cold days, if you took the air filter off you could actually watch the ice forming in the carburettor intake. A truly awful car.

My other dog of a car was an Austin Maestro where the quality of the build and the materials was something that had to be seen to be believed. The fit of the doors was such that you could probably get in and out of the car without actually unlocking it.

monofin

I had 2 340's then a 360GLT. The 360 was a hooligan. Loved them all despite their issues

Telejester

monofin said:

I had 2 340's then a 360GLT. The 360 was a hooligan. Loved them all despite their issues

The 360 was 2.0 if my memory is right, I shudder when I think what the mpg must have been given that car weighs about the same as Albania

monofin

Yeah 2.0 injection. Mine was white with the big spoiler, great for drifting

Telejester

My dad once owned a 1.2 Lada riva, if he was overtaking a bus he literally needed the lane he was pulling out into to be clear for about 3 miles.

Bucket

Telejester said:

1987 silver Volvo 340GL 1.7. ... Decided I would never own another Volvo......Ever.

Bit harsh given that it was technically barely a Volvo at all - built by DAF in Holland. Volvo's proper cars are great!

mike_l

BWM 316

In the 2 years I had it, I changed the manifold-downpipe gasket 4 times and did 3 headgaskets (always blew between cylinders 2 & 3). Other than that it was a really fun motor.


Mk3 Golf.

Total and utter shite motor. It sat at a different dealership in the group for months (should have been an indicator). I got it because I needed a car quickly.

Typical VW kept blowing the thermostat housing. Then the power steering pump gave up.


Best was a Volvo s40, in 10 years never needed anything other than filters changing, oil and discs and pads. It did need a topmount bearing doing, but that never got done. In the end corrosion underneath got the better so it went to the scrappy.

Deadman

1984 Citroen BX 1.9 diesel.

Horrible car that broke down constantly even after throwing lots of money at it. The hydraulic system failed when I was going some on the motorway; no power steering, no brakes, no suspension. It had a good engine though in fairness.

ICBM

In fairness to the BX, when the hydraulics fail you still have (non-power-assisted) front brakes, although it doesn't feel like it at first... Citroen did at least think that far ahead .

I had a BX19TRS (petrol) estate which was probably the least reliable car I've owned, but even that wasn't really terrible - certainly given how little I paid for it and how old it was. It was also a brilliant car for carrying big loads, exactly because of the hydraulic suspension. I can still clearly remember the smell of LHM hydraulic fluid though... a whiff of that and you knew trouble was coming.

Snap

Great thread!

I've had a number of shit cars.

Morris Marina, 1.8 Super. It wasn't super at all. Had aircon though - huge holes in the floor. Burnt oil like no tomorrow. Twin cams though, so it did go a bit. Metallic green with brown velour interior. Sweet. Was my first car though, so I thought it was ace.

Viva - metallic brown, uh huh. Never started, so always had to bump it, used to park at the top of our road so I could roll start it every day, and it would backfire every time. Bet the neighbours hated me. Funny though. Thing is, the wipers wouldn't work if the lights were on. Which was a problem. So, I got hold of an old wiper from a scrapped transit van, and would use that.

To get to my girlfriend's house, I had to go down 3 junctions of the M6, so I would drive in the pissing rain, with my arm out wiping the windscreen with this chuffing great big van wiper. Regularly. Also, the rear indicators didn't work so that was a bit novel.

After that, I bought a Lada RIva, 1.6. Burgundy, with grey body kit. Rock right on buddy. Actually, that wasn't really that bad. Well, I suppose it was, but it was reliable. I used to drive over the M62 in it quite a lot. The first time, I was going up the hill towards Saddleworth, and even though I had my foot flat down, it was still losing speed. Lorries overtaking me. Thought I'd blown piston rings, so I pulled over to have a look under the bonnet. As I got out, the problem became clear: there was a raging headwind, and it was just so piss weak, it was struggling with the hill + wind. Once over the top, we were away and laughing. It had a sunroof that was err, shall we saw "an aftermarket" addition. It was off centre. Someone had put it in with a jigsaw.

I made a profit selling that as well.

Shittest modern car i had......

Nissan Juke. Had one for a week recently as a hire car. 1.5D,. Now that is a truly terrible car, in every possible way you could imagine. Cheap and nasty interior, uncomfortable, jittery ride, slow, small, looks ridiculous. Nissan Joke. Anyone who owns one, the joke really is on you.

REnault Laguna was pretty bad too. Like a shit Cavalier.

Sporky

2016 Ford Mondeo - it just edges the 2007 Toyota Avensis.

The Avensis was a dull, wallowy, unreliable, ugly, poverty-spec piece of rubbish, but the Mondeo gave me a bad back and was just the worst designed thing I've ever been in. Random electrical failures all over the place and the worst seats I've ever encountered.

snakemanStoo

Chevrolet Tacuma.  Good deal on motability.  Shite car.  The power steering stopped working after a few weeks, the ride was like a bad day at sea.  The best thing that happened to it was some drunk knobhead smashed into it and wrote it off.

Gassage

Telejester said:

Ever try a Lancia delta ?

Is there any car that can demolish a front set of tyres quicker.

Easy; Corrado VR6, of which I've had two, is a contender, but the absolute champ is a JCW Mini.

CHRISB50

Mine is bittersweet.

I had a 40th Anniversary mini...





I fucking loved that car. It drove like a go kart.

But it was a piece of shit mechanically.

Bought brand new, within 3 months it had a new gearbox. It was treated to another new gearbox within the following 3 months after the first new one.

Then the steering rack went. If you went round a tight corner and applied full lock the steering wheel never returned to centre. It was tilted one way or the other depending upon which direction you had just turned in.

Then, as it's a Mini, it decided to rust. I sold it to the John Cooper garage in Worthing for a huge loss, and went and bought an Audi A3. Now that was a lovely car!

TheMarlin

Citroen XS.  The air suspension kept failing.  Ruined my neck...