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Ringleader of the Cambridge cartel, pedal champ and king of the dirt boxes (down to 21)
Base theme by DesignModo & ported to Powered by Vanilla by Chris Ireland, modified by the "theFB" team.
Comments
"you're wrong, we don't need to put in a desktop management system for our 10,000 PCs"
"We will never move stuff into cloud because you need to shift your data, so why bother"
Actually, one stupid thing I was asked to do, was fill in a change request for firewall changes to allow a trust relationship between two domains in separate parts of the company. Basically, it would have taken something like creating 500 lines in a table in a Word document. If the change gets rejected because I didn't do it (you can explain it in about two sentences), I will tell them to hire a contractor to do it.
"I know you do magic. Are you an illusionist or a real magician?"
it wont surprise anyone to know I wouldn't sign off on their qualification.
https://soundcertified.com/speaker-ohms-calculator/
Do you think he/she has been spiked........
No they've just drank far too frickin much, and when you say this its usually followed up by the equally stupid:
But they usually drink far more than this and they're fine.
If only it was that straightforward.....
Not that I'm bothered, they're usually one of the easiest patients to deal with as they are too far gone to be any trouble!!
The yard is nothing but a fence, the sun just hurts my eyes...
Me - what doss she think about that?
Him - she doesn't know, I was thinking you could walk past her in a supermarket or something and hypnotise her and do it there.
Office worker in aircon " It must be lovely working outside today.."
Me, with sweat dripping off my nose " Sign here please you fucking moron....."
The chain, that I brought in for repair six months ago ( that I've worn everyday for twenty years ) has broken again, I think it's the same link, I won't have to pay again, will I? Because it was fine for twenty years before I brought it in here!
Bastards!
As I walked away he looked a bit perplexed and said.....
"oh just one thing........do the two colours come in the same tin ! "
ones that stuck with me.
A lad I work with once asked me this
What's the best way to peel a orange, is it with a spoon?
One day I had a customer ask me what a butt plug was. I thought he was joking, he wasn't I literally had to draw one on some paper.
then you get all the old fellas in on a Saturday morning saying " I know they do them I've seen them" I always reply with "who's they?" Then they'll describe a fitting that doesn't exist.
I could go on.
Said cable trapped under a mound of more earthly possessions under the desk than I could or would care to accumulate over multiple lifetimes.
fairly sure you just did.
i welcome questions, some even involve me starting a half hour rant which I thoroughly enjoy.
Instagram
Internationally renowned professor ripping strips off me for a microscope being broken... He hadn't plugged it in.
Student nearly failed an honours project as he assumed that the light stayed on in a fridge when the door is closed. (He was working on the effect of cold on an organism that needed light to display the behaviour he was monitoring).