Hi there, play in a pub/working men’s club band doing 60s-90s stuff. We dress up a bit and put on a show. I’m not miserable but I don’t beam like an idiot the whole gig either. How do I deal with geriatric assholes demanding I smile? This could be as I’m struggling to get past them with a bass bin at the end of the night or it could be during a tricky solo or whatever. I’m getting pissed off with it, I’m no more happy or sad than anyone else, I stick out as I’m 6’7 I guess... that’s another thing that people think it’s ok to have a dig about too... (your tall aren’t you? Weather ok up there Etc)
So what’s the best response? I’m not going to smile because some git after having 5 pints of bitter demands it, nor am I going to shrink a foot because somebody has short man syndrome.
Merry Xmas btw! On a side note, might get a wireless system in the sales, any recommendations?
Comments
About 4 years ago I played an industry showcase thing which was in front of some panel. We did 2 songs and one of the responses where that the guitarists (me one of them) were not "animated enough". The very next day I bought a Line 6 G50 wireless and from then on had more freedom to run around stages and do something about that remark.
So for the wireless system I would recommend the Line 6 Relay range, or Shure if you can afford it. It does pay to get a good one, the cheaper £99 ones don't tend to be very reliable.
They want to look brave in front of their friends because you are tall, and they are feeble invalid cowards.
You're the one on the stage, so ignore them. They're probably completely unremarkable in every other aspect of their worthless lives too.
Weathers fine up here thanks!
I usually respond with either "Yeah. You're not" or "Ooh you're ugly... Oh I'm sorry, I thought were were just picking an easy observation"
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Bringing in comparisons to other cases makes things less clear especially as I find it difficult to see when anyone would ask those other questions.
But I find it difficult to feel for the op (oh just noticed it is you) when people are described as being 'geriatric arseholes' and having 'short man syndrome.'
If you are expecting good manners from a drunken audience you are going to be disappointed 99% of the time but if it is only about not smiling then you are not doing too bad. Be grateful and maybe smile about it, inwardly obviously.
Let me know if you think I am victim-blaming and I'll consider my opinion.
Merry Xmas.
*sorry for going on and on but you were good enough to reply so I felt it only polite.
My daughter had her first sing song carol thing nativity play at church. During the hymns we were asked to stand up from our chairs by the vicar, i was near the front and blocked the view of multiple parents behind me, they then made snarky remarks until I sat down feeling like a kicked puppy and spent a day or so hating life in general.
Reading that back sounds stupid and I know it’s nothing compared to what some people deal with but it conditions you after a while to feeling like you are always in the way. Going to standing concerts is a no no, being at the front of a photo is a no no, public transport not fun, any form of aggression towards a smaller individual is deemed unfair no matter how much of a knob they are being...
You find it hard to feel sorry for me due to using the term geriatric asshole and short man syndrome, but can you see it from my point of view? Never in a million years would I think it’s ok to openly make a derogatory remark (unless it’s an internet rant) to someone knowing that they would be too embarrassed to do anything about it. I’m a kind, gentle, loving person who likes playing guitar, I shouldn’t be made to feel like shit by other people. Fair enough?
Thanks to those that understood, made me feel a bit better about things.