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Oh wait, guitar you say
If the fretboard has a buildup of gunk, I use a straight edged razor blade (very carefully, not keen on the idea of a scalloped neck) to remove it. Whether or not you use lemon oil depends on the fretboard material. Unsealed materials like rosewood and ebony need a spot of lemon oil every now and again to prevent drying out; maple, on the other hand, is sealed and doesn’t require anything more than a damp cloth.
For lacquered bodies, a wipe and polish with Dr Duck’s Axe Wax. I have one guitar with a plain neck and body (Washburn N4). It gets a wipe down with a damp cloth, a rub of 0000 steel wool on the back of the neck if there’s any buildup, and an annual coating of tung oil.
Any friction points (nut slots, saddles, etc) get the tiniest squidge of Big Bends Nut Sauce. Not cheap, but one tube lasts forever.
Every few months I'll tape the pickups off, and rub 0000 steel wool to smooth and clean the frets, lemon oil the rosewood board or use dunlop 65 polish for maple boards, string up, clean the body and back of neck with the same dunlop 65.
Realistically any polish to the body will shine it up for a little but it will quickly be worn off where you contact the guitar. You could put a wax layer over it to protect it like a car, but meh, its a guitar, they dont see the elements as much unless you gig.
Give the guitar a damn good thrashing with a length of motorcycle chain.
Rub soot (steal a bag from your local chimney sweep) into any bare wood.
Corrode the metal parts with muriatic acid.
But seriously, don’t do this.
That’s it.
The apple-of-my-eye has trodden on two acoustics (going through to top and back!), broken the headstock off a Tokai, snapped a few machineheads off and caused a substantial amount of “heavy relicing.” To everything I own but very often guitars.
Now all I have is a maple boarded poly finish guitar, so I dust it if I have to and wipe the crud off the frets if I have to.
Wipe down and fastfret the strings after every session.
Every other session I use a paintbrush to get rid of dust, it doesn't build up then.
Long term I give them a polish, never use lemon oil though. Instead I use the fret oil, much better.
I find if I put it on the nut and then thread the strings through and tune up, the part of the string that was on the nut moves up and I wonder if it leaves enough behind in the slot.
Also, those who use it and also are less frequent string changers - do you still only put it on at string change or more often?
Also known as having to go to bed or work.