In the grand old forum tradition of asking musicians for medical advice, I submit my latest ailment for your analysis. It's not a pretty one either... It involves bowels.
Has anyone else experienced this...
In the morning, when your bowels are warming up for the first evacuation of the day, and you feel the need to go - do you ever get excruciating pain as things... er... move ? Especially if you've been a pig the night before and have stuffed your face to excess.
Not pain during or after the sitting on the throne, but in the minutes immediately preceding. Tensing up all the lower stomach muscles helps with the pain, but doesn't stop it.
It doesn't happen all the time - perhaps once a fortnight, and always after a 'pig at the trough' session the night before.
My theory is that the bulk of the er... 'matter'.. is either causing stretching of pipes at a weak spot or.... there is something there that is being pressed on by the passing tube train... so to speak.
Anyway... obviously I will enquire with my GP as a formality, but in the meantime, I thought I'd ask here in case anyone says "Yeah... I had that once, and my legs fell off".
Donald Trump needs kicking out of a helicopter
Offset "(Emp) - a little heavy on the hyperbole."
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I'm not locked in here with you, you are locked in here with me.
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I'm not locked in here with you, you are locked in here with me.
Offset "(Emp) - a little heavy on the hyperbole."
I love the monday morning poo. All the sins and excess of the weekend get expunged in one one swift (but sticky) movement.
Plus it stinks which is nice. You can't beat your own brand right?
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Yes.
And it was the alien.
You're ok until it starts face-hugging.
:-??Ringleader of the Cambridge cartel, pedal champ and king of the dirt boxes (down to 21)
Oops, feck, look at the time - gone 10.30.Missing my morning cream cake.
Shhh, don't tell him
Ringleader of the Cambridge cartel, pedal champ and king of the dirt boxes (down to 21)
:-B
Yes.
You wouldn't want to be face-hugged by that.... :-$
:-&Ringleader of the Cambridge cartel, pedal champ and king of the dirt boxes (down to 21)
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If it's hard try fibrogel in a drink it adds roughage, means going to the loo isn't like first night in H.M. Prison Wandsworth.
Drinking more water can help too.
Drinking booze will dehydrate and turn any turd into concrete.
Offset "(Emp) - a little heavy on the hyperbole."