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As for the thumb - nothing wrong with a wrap around (oo-er missus), it's the thumb position when barre-ing that needs to be middle of the neck, and up&down the neck to avoid injury - failing to barre properly gave me arthritis. Just played a 2.5 hr jazz gig without pain using 3 or 4 finger inversions and wrap-around barres (for min7 root on 6th string), with no pain at all !
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I rarely use full six string barre chords and find them uncomfortable after quite a short while. If I do then it's definitely thumb behind although I suspect it creeps up a bit high around the back of the neck. I do a few Steve Jones style middle four string barre majors and they are thumb behind as well, although as far as possible I play everything else thumb over and keep the thumb behind for special occasions. I don't have Hendrix/ Paul Gilbert style big hands though so the thumb is pretty much just for the low E.
Although, let's be clear, playing guitar how I do it is no recommendation...
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So I went to a teacher for a few lessons. he looked at my technique and thoroughly recommended playing with the Thumb at back of the neck in the centre.
As I get older I tend to use full barre and thumb-over interchangeably to give my fingers a rest.
That being said, despite having midget 'chode' fingers, I've been able to learn to fret the lowest e string with my thumb. Took a lot of work though.