Passing the Time of Day

Iamnobody

@Dominic 's post below from another thread (which I've truncated a bit for the relevant content) got me thinking about how we roam the earth.

Lots of people are texting away like zombies hardly aware of their surroundings (including hazards such as traffic etc).

Does anyone pass the time of day much these days? If at all.

I do - but only under certain conditions:

I'm a dog owner - other dog walkers get a cursory 'alright' maybe a brief conversation particularly if I see them regularly.

In my local area if I see an older person they get a smile and a 'good morning' afternoon/evening whatever. I think it's a respectful thing to do. 

People my own age or younger get nothing! Eye contact seems to be generally avoided as if we view each other with suspicion or something?! 

I would be interested what other people's take on this is.

Dominic said:

I live in a place called England……….it's a very miserable N European country that is set beneath a generally grey sky.


People have little time to stop and chat or meet at a pavement cafe for lunch or coffee.

People have learnt to buy shitty Americanised oversize ,under-quality coffee which they drink from Paper cups fitted with baby beaker tops whilst they walk/jog to the next job or meeting that they are already over scheduled for.

Some regret the lack of conversation so they have even learnt to text an abbreviated speak system whilst walking and juggling coffee/lunch.

Funny place this ……..

littlegreenman

I do, but again depends on the circumstances:

Out on my bikes on beaches, canal paths, nature reserves and country lanes dog walkers and other cyclists get a hello or the cyclist's nod.

Likewise other walkers if I'm out in the country.

In the city? Nope, unless I actually know you.

Iamnobody

I wouldn't expect it in a city - was thinking more in our respective neighbourhoods.

boogieman

If I'm out with the dog I'll usually talk to other dog owners or people will chat to me. If I'm on my own then I usually get ignored.

Sod's law of course that the really annoying nerdy bloke who lives round the corner and loves bending people's ears is always coming out of his house just as I go past. 

monquixote

For some reason if I'm running lots of people say good morning to me, but when I'm normally walking around they don't seem to.

underdog

I like chatting, I chat to people when I walk the dog, I spend a lot of time chatting to customers in work, helps stop them worrying and also if they call in again it's nice when you remember them.

My wife remarked the Welsh are much happier to chat to strangers than people in the midlands, maybe it's a Welsh thing 

strtdv

I agree with @littlegreenman , if I'm out cycling I'll generally get a nod or a wave from other cyclists (although much less so if I'm in my commuting gear than my road gear).
I also notice other people not paying attention to their surroundings much more. Most people in cities seem to exist in their own oblivious bubble.

Dominic

I think there is a very different City v country village type dynamic but in other countries ,particularly Southern Europe people are much more gregarious ..........you will see a waitress have a long chat with a customer or a delivery man stop and chat with a recipient for 5 minutes -whereas here they can't even be bothered to carry a small parcel to your door and in America they throw the Newspaper onto your front lawn because everything is so hurried.
Mindfulness doesn't exist .......people are far too wrapped into their own coccoons .
In fact,if you were to stop and chat to a stranger at a bus stop you would be eyed with some suspicion until the ice was well-broken.

TheOtherDennis

I say hello to people in my neighbourhood most times, and when the dog was capable of going for long walks and tear-arsing around with other people's dogs, I'd happily stop and chat. Made quite a few friends/acquaintances with other dog owners, but hardly ever knew their names (we knew each other by the dog's name). If we meet in shops we still pass the time of day with each other.

Get on reasonably well with the neighbours after being here for nearly seven years now, and with the neighbours before that. Never been invited into anyone's home for a meal or a beer or anything, but we'll exchange home grown fruit and veg when we have a surplus, borrow each other's jump leads, that sort of thing.

It's not like the village I used to live in in Cheshire (Bollington) where we'd all go round each other's places, babysit for each other, etc, but it's friendly enough and much more friendly than where we used to live in Nottinghamshire.

Strangefan

I totally agree, it's only since the mobile  have we been trying our best to ignore each other, before then everyone held hands skipping down the street, singing a jaunty tune, dothing their cap to anyone who looks in their direction........ Hold in a sec : 

http://i.imgur.com/rBKAAi5.jpg


http://i.imgur.com/lUzNzK1.jpg

robgilmo

I work for a living and have two kids, I don't have time to pass the time of day.

Teetonetal

Switzerland is very good at this. Especially in the mountains.  You nearly always get a greeting when passing someone. And you quite often get chatted to, especially if you are carrying something interesting or have small kids / a baby etc.

Sporky

I think there are two aspects.

Firstly people are generally as friendly as you are.

Secondly...

https://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/sheeple.png

Always dangerous to assume you know what is (or isn't) going on inside someone else's head. I remember doing an installation at a lawyer's home office about ten years ago - he kept blathering on about how "you young people don't have any sort of inner life, no consideration of the world around you", blah blah blah. Ironically I'd tuned him out because he was a miserable old bore, and was thinking about more interesting things while I plugged colour-coded cables into colour-coded sockets.

It's also worth considering this; if no-one engages you in conversation, maybe it's because your conversation isn't very engaging. Mmm. Trite.

chillidoggy

Last time I waved to someone whilst riding my pushbike, I fell off it. I don't wave any more, I give a nod to a fellow cyclist.

57Deluxe

I have a theory: You know when out for a walk in country or a park and a fellow passer-by who you don't know will say "morning" or whatever?? Have you ever ignored them then felt bad or to avoid looking a noob said "morning" first and then thought "why do we do this?"

Well it is inherent. Think back to medieval or early times when bumping into someone on a deserted route (even if it was the main road to London), one quick way to assess any danger or probability of social disruption further afield would be to engage in vocal dialogue which would instantly tell you if the person was local, educated in a certain way or had the dialect of a certain class of society. You wouldn't have to ask a name or their standing in society or their originating location - that brief interlude would give up that information instantly.

As such it has become not only polite manners, but an instinctive precaution and act of self preservation.

ESBlonde

The scene from Crocodile Dundee where he first walks down a city street saying hello to everyone is great observation.

I have also notes the effect of getting on a tube has on everyone, as a member of a visiting bunch of partying young men getting on a tube made them all hang thier heads and go quite for the duration of the ride! Very noticable.

In my immediate locality i make a point of greeting folk passing, further afield I'm less forthcoming.

DrCornelius

I thought about moving to Canada once so took a few trips out to various areas around 10 year back to check out what was about.  Tried Toronto first, spent a few weeks out there and couldn't believe how much friendlier people were over there, especially when they heard my accent. Felt immediately at home despite being an outsider as it were, people would stop and chat continually.

Next went to Newfoundland which is a small province in the East (5.5 hours by plane from the UK, imagine a snowy Ireland).  It was disconcerting how friendly people were there, it would take me 45 minutes to go and buy a paper in the morning because everyone you walked past wanted to say hello (at best) or spend 20 minutes nattering about rubbish. 

I remarked to someone there how friendly Canadians were, I mentioned the friendly Toronto folk and the woman cursed and screwed her face up, she said Toronto inhabitants were the rudest people on earth, even worse than those from Quebec.  She looked genuinely pissed off that I liked them !

Makes sense really, they are lovely people but when you see how violent ice hockey is there is definitely some inter Canada antagonism going on !

Wolfetone

Not in Ireland.....everyone at least acknowledges the other and at best has some sort of a conversation.

chillidoggy

DrCornelius said:

 It was disconcerting how friendly people were there, it would take me 45 minutes to go and buy a paper in the morning because everyone you walked past wanted to say hello (at best) or spend 20 minutes nattering about rubbish. 

They do that in Margate, usually because the bin-wankers have failed to turn up to collect it again.

Lestratcaster

The only people I usually say hello to down my road are the postman, and either neighbour from each side of my house.

Even though one side are noisy fuckers we try to keep the peace. They're also quite ungrateful after we take in their deliveries on a regular basis. Not once have we gotten a thank you. We use the same mechanic and the woman has her best mate's son in for guitar lessons so its not all bad. Sometimes they're a bit off-ish with us though, if they can see us venturing out or on our way back they'll quickly dart back into the house to avoid a conversation. Generally I think they prefer to keep themselves to themselves.

In London there's all sorts of weirdos so it depends who you come across. I've many conversations with some surprisingly pleasant randomers out and about. Met a bunch of friendly Welsh lads in Camden earlier this month, just sitting in the same area of seats in a packed venue. We were both going to see the same band.

holnrew

I have social anxiety so I keep my earphones in and avoid eye contact. Any attempt at small talk gives me a dry mouth and I respond with a sentence or two, any more than that and my brain comes up with nothing. I'm absolutely terrible at small talk.