What to do?

CabbageCat

(As I've mentioned before...sorry for repeating)

It has been suggested to me (by a housemate who was studying spectrum disorders for her career) that I get checked for Asperger's. I understand that I do tick a lot of boxes: I make up my own social rules, I feel uncomfortable with eye contact, I don't empathise well, I have a fairly hard-edged comfort zone, plus others.

But I have never been diagnosed because I don't want to have a label put on what I consider to be my personality. Asperger's is a syndrome, a disorder, and it would be unpleasant to be told that my mind - my 'me' - is broken or wrong (not that I'd accept that...being able to dismiss societal convention is quite useful). I have had, and continue to have, a fairly happy and care-free life by just being me. My disorder (if it exists...I could just be 'quirky') is not a layer between 'me' and the world, it's a part of 'me' and doesn't need a name.

bodhi

I think it is in the child's best interest to have an official diagnosis of Aspergers or Autism, if that is in fact the case.  And not to even mention the interest of the rest of the family.

As @LuttiS said above, if it comes to that, then everyone knows and special arrangements can and have to be made to help that child achieve his or her full potential.

But yes - it's a difficult one - some parents don't want to hear or accept the reality of it all when it happens.  Ignoring it won't help anyone in the long run, though.

Also remember that the subject of Aspergers and Autism is quite complicated.  You really need the professionals to evaluate each individual case before jumping to conclusions.  If it was a self-diagnosing, box ticking exercise, I'd put myself firmly on the spectrum, too, in many ways.

aord43

I was just about to say what @bodhi said.  If you do anything you would need to steer them gently towards a professional diagnosis rather than attempt to have them take your word for it.  I appreciate this is probably what you meant though!

RocknRollDave

Am worried by the dismissive tone of "she has OCD", as if OCD isn't something that in and of itself requires attention.
Unless, that is, they are using OCD as shorthand for "she likes things to be neat and ordered", which is not OCD at all.

boogieman

RocknRollDave said:

Am worried by the dismissive tone of "she has OCD", as if OCD isn't something that in and of itself requires attention.
Unless, that is, they are using OCD as shorthand for "she likes things to be neat and ordered", which is not OCD at all.

Wisdom. OCD and autism are also very different things. 

Drew_TNBD

There are no doctors here, and most of the advice in this thread is fucking idiotic. Have a family discussion and get some sort of real professional diagnosis.

LuttiS

boogieman said:

RocknRollDave said:

Am worried by the dismissive tone of "she has OCD", as if OCD isn't something that in and of itself requires attention.
Unless, that is, they are using OCD as shorthand for "she likes things to be neat and ordered", which is not OCD at all.

Wisdom. OCD and autism are also very different things. 

True, all different things, but things that meaningful help can be sought for.

WezV

Drew_TNBD said:

There are no doctors here, and most of the advice in this thread is fucking idiotic. Have a family discussion and get some sort of real professional diagnosis.

Wasn't that what a lot of the advice in this thread advocated?   does that make your advice  "fucking idiotic"?

Drew_TNBD

WezV said:

Drew_TNBD said:

There are no doctors here, and most of the advice in this thread is fucking idiotic. Have a family discussion and get some sort of real professional diagnosis.

Wasn't that what a lot of the advice in this thread advocated?   does that make your advice  "fucking idiotic"?

Yes.

bodhi

This forum does actually have members who are qualified medical doctors.

Advice is advice.  In this case asked for, freely given, and freely to be taken on board or discarded.

Drew_TNBD

bodhi said:

This forum does actually have members who are qualified medical doctors.

What kind of PRS's do they play?

RocknRollDave

Drew_TNBD said:

bodhi said:

This forum does actually have members who are qualified medical doctors.

What kind of PRS's do they play?

pffft, they don't PLAY them! They hang them on the wall.*








*don't worry, all the case candy is kept safely wrapped up for when they inevitably sell the guitar when they get golf club GAS

WezV

Drew_TNBD said:

WezV said:

Drew_TNBD said:

There are no doctors here, and most of the advice in this thread is fucking idiotic. Have a family discussion and get some sort of real professional diagnosis.

Wasn't that what a lot of the advice in this thread advocated?   does that make your advice  "fucking idiotic"?

Yes.

As long as we are all agreed

Modulus_Amps

sometimes a close family member, or group of family members, can help parents face reality.

Key there is "close", you need to be able to do it tactfully, some parents don't want to face reality though, so bare that in mind.

My daughter, now 8 years old, is profoundly disabled due to genetic mutation, the GP were utterly useless at the start and put all the issues down to diet and an anxious first time mum, it was only after my wifes mother and aunt took her to the doctor that the ball got rolling properly.

Ravenous

Modulus_Amps said:

sometimes a close family member, or group of family members, can help parents face reality.

Key there is "close", you need to be able to do it tactfully, some parents don't want to face reality though, so bare that in mind.

+wis.  If you can't be tactful, be quiet.

If it's necessary to talk about the problem with someone, just stick to the grandparents (if they're around). The parents of the kid will be used to lectures from them.

CabbageCat

boogieman said:

RocknRollDave said:

Am worried by the dismissive tone of "she has OCD", as if OCD isn't something that in and of itself requires attention.
Unless, that is, they are using OCD as shorthand for "she likes things to be neat and ordered", which is not OCD at all.

Wisdom. OCD and autism are also very different things. 

Not very different things. OCD is a common symptom of Asperger's.

WezV

i should probably highlght at this point that i grew up with a very minor disability which was seen as a behavioural problem when i was young ("he's just lazy") and then became a big deal with lots of teachers trying to do stuff for me once i had a diagnosis. ... it was kinda embarrassing and i really could have done without it