Am I mental ?

chillidoggy

Bet @heartfeltdawn could do it in a jiffy.

Sporky

Emp_Fab said:

How on earth can anyone make a link between my real name and my nom-de-plume on here?

Dude, we all know your real name.

Most of us have stood on a bucket looking over your garden fence.

chillidoggy

Sporky said:

Emp_Fab said:

How on earth can anyone make a link between my real name and my nom-de-plume on here?

Dude, we all know your real name.

Most of us have stood on a bucket looking over your garden fence.

Not literally, though.

boogieman

chillidoggy said:

Sporky said:

Emp_Fab said:

How on earth can anyone make a link between my real name and my nom-de-plume on here?

Dude, we all know your real name.

Most of us have stood on a bucket looking over your garden fence.

Not literally, though.

Speak for yourself. 

EricTheWeary

chillidoggy said:

Sporky said:

Emp_Fab said:

How on earth can anyone make a link between my real name and my nom-de-plume on here?

Dude, we all know your real name.

Most of us have stood on a bucket looking over your garden fence.

Not literally, though.

Some of us have stood on @Bucket looking over Emp's garden fence. Very strong for a young lad, his height was a definite advantage. 

chillidoggy

Taking a bit of a chance leaning on Emp's fence, aren't you?

sinbaadi

Emp_Fab said:

You do know my actual name isn’t “Emperor Fabulous” don’t you ? 

Oh I'm quite sure it isn't.   

PS: Original comment was made somewhat tongue-in-cheek but it would be naive to think that we can post anything we want on here, or anywhere in complete anonymity!  Your joke might already have caught the attention of MI-6, who have put you on a watch list by default pending the usual "Was it just a joke?" investigation.

gubble

Just read this thread.
It amused me - to answer the question - yes you clearly are bonkers but hey go for it. If you manage to reach your dream and become an airline pilot i'll genuinely be well chuffed for you.

My suggestion however would be buy a boat. It's maybe a bit a like flying and you've more chance of getting a job on the Isle of Wight Ferry (or similar)

Sporky

chillidoggy said:

Taking a bit of a chance leaning on Emp's fence, aren't you?

Technically the one we use is actually his neighbour's fence. It's less pissy.

Emp_Fab

sinbaadi said:

Emp_Fab said:

You do know my actual name isn’t “Emperor Fabulous” don’t you ? 

Oh I'm quite sure it isn't.   

PS: Original comment was made somewhat tongue-in-cheek but it would be naive to think that we can post anything we want on here, or anywhere in complete anonymity!  Your joke might already have caught the attention of MI-6, who have put you on a watch list by default pending the usual "Was it just a joke?" investigation.

Oh absolutely.  I’m quite sure they might delve a bit deeper into who I really am if I was a) posting stuff that looked genuine and seditious and was b) applying for a job at Porton Down or Aldermaston!  However, I’m guessing Air Ouagadougou’s Freight division probably doesn’t have access to MI5’s records.

The security services don’t have enough resources to investigate every ISIS joke on the internet!  Christ, they can’t even stop the ones who they know about!  How many times do we hear the phrase “he was known to the security services”, just after some nutcase has blown himself to bits?

Back in the day, it was a standing joke to put “CIA bait” in your email sigs, to cause false alarms on whatever monitoring systems were believed to be in place.

Dominic

You are Bruce Dickenson and I claim my £5

Emp_Fab

Well, the aeromedical examiner got back to me.  I gave him as detailed a summary of my medical history as I could and he said there wasn’t enough detail about my heart attack to advise if I would be excluded immediately and advised I go for the full medical at one of the four centres in the UK.  Currently £650.

That was at least not a “no way” response, so one small step forward!

I’ve been doing a lot of research and one thing that is strongly advised is to get a ‘Suitability test’ done by an aviation psychologist.  Apparently most schools insist on them before accepting you and certainly most airlines will perform their own on candidates.  Thank Andreas Lubitz for that...

Of the hurdles I need to clear, my colour vision is one of them, and of the three immediate hurdles (medical, colour vision and psychological test), the colour vision one is the cheapest, so it makes sense to tackle them in order of ascending cost, so if I fail one (any one of which will decisively bar me from getting to my goal), I’ve at least minimised the investment.

So, next stop, City University in London to see if I can get through the new colour vision test.

chillidoggy

WTF do they do for £650?

I expect they'll throw a prostate exam in while they're at, though.

p90fool

chillidoggy said:

WTF do they do for £650?

I expect they'll throw a prostate exam in while they're at, though.

I'd want a Happy Ending for that. 
 

richardhomer

I think I’d probably rather throw £650 at Lottery tickets....

Moe_Zambeek

Emp_Fab said:

sinbaadi said:

Emp_Fab said:

You do know my actual name isn’t “Emperor Fabulous” don’t you ? 

Oh I'm quite sure it isn't.   

PS: Original comment was made somewhat tongue-in-cheek but it would be naive to think that we can post anything we want on here, or anywhere in complete anonymity!  Your joke might already have caught the attention of MI-6, who have put you on a watch list by default pending the usual "Was it just a joke?" investigation.

Oh absolutely.  I’m quite sure they might delve a bit deeper into who I really am if I was a) posting stuff that looked genuine and seditious and was b) applying for a job at Porton Down or Aldermaston!  However, I’m guessing Air Ouagadougou’s Freight division probably doesn’t have access to MI5’s records.

The security services don’t have enough resources to investigate every ISIS joke on the internet!  Christ, they can’t even stop the ones who they know about!  How many times do we hear the phrase “he was known to the security services”, just after some nutcase has blown himself to bits?

Back in the day, it was a standing joke to put “CIA bait” in your email sigs, to cause false alarms on whatever monitoring systems were believed to be in place.

With this and your Air Namibia comments you seem to be under the impression that African nations have no local staff who are capable of flying planes, and so they’ll gladly hire the rejects from our fine nation who are willing to work for peanuts. I think you might want to revisit that assumption...

Deadman

We pay £15 per time for colour perception tests at our local opticians if you need a benchmark cost for that part.

sinbaadi

Deadman said:

We pay £15 per time for colour perception tests at our local opticians if you need a benchmark cost for that part.

Is that in relation to @Moe_Zambeek 's comment?

Emp_Fab

Moe_Zambeek said:

With this and your Air Namibia comments you seem to be under the impression that African nations have no local staff who are capable of flying planes, and so they’ll gladly hire the rejects from our fine nation who are willing to work for peanuts. I think you might want to revisit that assumption...

You might want to revisit your assumption.  Regrettable as it is, the fact remains that Africa is a generally a poor continent, and black Africans are generally poorer than white ones.  Learning to fly an airliner remains one of the most expensive training programmes in the world.  It doesn't take a genius to work out that access to that training is easier for white Africans and Westerners.

http://www.capetalk.co.za/articles/6491/where-on-earth-are-the-black-pilots-in-sa

https://city-press.news24.com/News/where-are-black-pilots-20151121

...and specific to Air Namibia; https://www.newera.com.na/2017/04/27/air-namibia-appoints-previously-disadvantaged-pilots/
"In recent months previously disadvantaged pilots claimed they were being systematically victimised by private players in the local aviation industry, particularly as the local aviation industry continues to be dominated by white people since and before Independence.

The disgruntled pilots alleged that all white trainee pilots were able to secure jobs even before they completed flight school and that up to 90 percent of pilots working in the country come from outside Namibia."

Emp_Fab

chillidoggy said:

WTF do they do for £650?

I expect they'll throw a prostate exam in while they're at, though.

https://www.caa.co.uk/Commercial-industry/Pilot-licences/Applications/Medical/Medical-examination-information/

No prostate check, but the examination lasts four hours.