Out of the Mouths of Babes......

boogieman

Phil_aka_Pip said:

@ESBlonde in similar manner my little sister ate ollimets for breakfast and once got excited about seeing a Hodgeheg. She is now a Grandma ...

My daughter used to say cu-cum-bumber, basketti (for spaghetti) and tommy ar toes.

My son also couldn’t pronounce some of his words. In the family we still call milk “nilk” and yogurt  “nogurt”. His favourite dinner was always “hoffages”.  

Phil_aka_Pip

@boogieman I'm told I called potatoes toe-toes, tomatoes mar-toe-toes, and apricots open-cops. Or so my mum says

fob

welshboyo

On one of our family holidays as a child (caravan hols) we stopped en route to South France in a services somewhere to get some sleep - we were in the lorry park as the car and caravan wouldn't fit in the normal car park.

Early the next morning (about 4am) the lorry driver next to us started to wake and start banging and clattering stuff outside of his lorry (probably making breakfast) which managed to wake my parents up (and me obviously).

My Dad said to my Mum - "I wish that lorry driver would fuck off" which I must have overheard

So me being the helpful 3 year old I was, knocked on the window and started shouting "OI LORRY DRIVER FUCK OFF"

Much to say, we didn't sleep much more and we were on the road early that morning....

Boromedic

jonnyburgo said:

We were staying at a BnB once in Blackpool that was owned by an Asian guy, we were sat giving our order to the guy at Breakfast time when my daughter who as probably 2 or 3 said “why has he got a dirty face?” My child is not a racist, just putting it out there. It was excruciating.

Oh no, bless you that reminds me of my niece, when she was about 3 we were in a Blockbuster and a small person walked in and started perusing the shelves. My niece started staring and I tried to usher her away, at that point she said in the loudest voice possible, "why has that little boy got a mans face?".

I'm sure the dude wasn't overly bothered as he just smiled. Probably understanding thats how a little kid would see things, and had heard it all before. Me however massively embarrased wanted the floor to swallow me up so I took our rentals, paid, and left before explaining to her in the car. 

Blackjack

My dad, who was 89 when he passed away last year, used to tell of when, as a small boy, he was introduced to an Afro Caribbean gentleman.  The gentleman in question, being polite, held out his hand to shake hands with my dad who was only about 5 at the time.  My dad shook hands with him, then closely inspected his hand before declaring in a very loud voice “wow, the colour hasn’t come off onto my hand!”.  My poor grandmother was mortified! 

Another one one to make you chuckle,

my friend’s youngest son was about 4 when he suddenly developed a real fear of sitting on the toilet.  He would happily stand at the toilet to wee but refused point blank to sit on the toilet.  He would kick out, bite, head butt, anything to avoid being picked up and put onto the toilet.  He was not a violent lad so something was obviously causing it but my friend did not know what.  As time passed it became a problem as he was refusing to poo and started getting stomach pains.  He then started pooing and hiding the evidence in his bedroom and other places (which lead to me asking my friend one day if there was any reason why there was a turd going round in her washing machine, up against the glass on the door!! The little sod had hidden one in the washing machine!!) 
Eventually, one day my friend physically made him sit on the loo and he turned hysterical, crying and lashing out.  My friend asked him again what was wrong and he said “I don’t want to get eaten by the dinosaurs”.   My friend realised that he had seen the scene in Jurassic Park where the bloke sat on the loo gets eaten, as her sister had had the film on when they visited a few weeks previously!!  
Just goes to show the things kids notice and take in. 

munckee

My autistic son was talking to his cousin who has turned vegetarian, my son said he couldn’t be a vegetarian as he eats bananas.  

Blackjack

Not a kids one but made me fall about laughing....

Was chatting to my aunt on the phone a little while ago and she was telling me about a special family dinner she was preparing.  Particularly the lovely orgasmic potatoes and carrots she had bought!!!!   Oh dear......  

Snags

^^ Well, the carrots I can understand, but the potatoes are going some ...

HHwarner

I once took my eldest to the public toilets in town. He was about 6 at the time. So I was waiting outside the cubicle for him and with concern  and panic in his voice he shouts out "dad, Iv got worms in my poo" everyone in there just looked at me and the place erupted with laughter. 

Another one, my step son who was 4 at the time had an imaginary Stuart Little he used to carry around in the palm of his hand. We were at the In Laws for dinner (prim and proper, Sunday morning church goer types). Suddenly he shouts out "Fucking Hell, Iv forgotten Stuart". Fortunately they saw the funny side but did wonder where he could have possibly picked that up from

munckee

Another classic from my son went to the doctor with sore throat and was told with my wife to go to the surgery. He was very distressed and said that he knew surgeons cut out bad things but they couldn't cut out his throat or when he had a drink it would fall out and his T shirt would get wet!

NelsonP

https://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/12109399/Father-of-Muslim-boy-10-questioned-by-police-for-saying-he-lived-in-terrorist-house-brands-it-a-joke.html

Axe_meister

I was 5 and my mum 25 (And a bit of a babe looking back at old photos) I asked very loudly on Christmas day at the grandparents, if she was pretty when she was young. She still holds it again at me 43 years later.

Monkeybone

When I was a young lad, maybe 3 years old, my mum took me for a walk around the village. Getting near the church, I really needed a wee. So, mum guides me too a hedge and I start to do my business. The other side of the hedge, a car pulls up. I ask mum, "who's that?", to which she replies "that's the vicar". I then reply "Oh. What a bastard."

francer

Once at a family gathering, we adults were all sitting indoors while the children are playing in the garden, when my little niece who was being toilet trained at the time walks in with a turd in each hand proudly announcing “I’ve done a poo!”

beed84

In my late teens I found out that when I was around 4 or 5 I used to tell my mum’s friends and acquaintances that she beat me up. My mum was there when I randomly uttered this blatant lie. I have no idea why I said such a thing and can only imagine how awkward the interaction must’ve been from that point forward. Soz mum.