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Snags

@Bridgehouse Are you being utterly serious?

I've generally taken your self-deprecation to be a kind of polite modesty coupled with some group humour and "getting in before anyone else does".  If you're being serious, you need a serious thwack upside the head.

Related observation: in my time across multiple fields I've come to the conclusion that some people always "compare up" - they look at others and think "I can't do that" or "I'm no good because XYZ is way better than me".  Others either compare down, or are just blissfully ignorant of the concept of comparison in the first place, so blaze through on a wave of self-belief that carries them far beyond their talent (which is often lower than those who are "comparing up").

Try to be a bit more self-aware if you're a compare-upper.  If it helps I'll play bass at the next jam and you'll know you're not shit

Bridgehouse

@Snags - totally serious. I’m not a bass player by trade. I was in a band for 10 years as a multiinstrumentalist and left after systematic bullying and being told I was shit and not keeping up the standard by the others. It crippled my confidence and I stayed out of bands for 5 years. 

I guess for me I’m a bit of compare-up and a lot of know-my-limits-and-assume-I’m-shit-cos that’s what I’m used to being told.

Bridgehouse

Any newbies or live playing virgins out there with confidence issues or nerves take note - you are not alone. We understand 

Snags

Well, I think you're a veritable bass god.  Or at least on the lower rungs of some kind of pantheon.

I'm a definite "compare up" (although I'd also say I'm a realist about my (lack of) abilities) so I have some sympathy. Although I'd say you have less cause to be down on yourself then I do (obviously!).

slacker

Bridgehouse said:

@slacker - I have no confidence in my bass playing at all. Pretty much all the time I’d say I feel like I’m winging it and just about getting away with it. 

Every time I watch a video or hear someone playing live I cringe and think I’m far worse. I try to tell myself I’ve worked hard on technique and tone to get some elements of it right but at the end of the day I still come away feeling like I’m the weak link..

Ok a couple of things to put in perspective what I am going to type about you...

I have high standards of myself and anyone I play with there are loads of people I wont play with. I was kicked out of a band because I couldnt hide my contempt of the other players and finally as an ex bass player I am really hard on any bass player when I play guitar. 

So with that out of the way you are great and I'll play in a band or jam with you any time. So listen to snags (wisdom) have a word with yourself and carry on doing stirling work on bass. 

mikeyrob73

Bridgehouse said:

Any newbies or live playing virgins out there with confidence issues or nerves take note - you are not alone. We understand 

that will be me then. 

Bridgehouse

Thanks for the kind words guys - @slacker - that’s a compliment indeed given your abilities on bass.

I know that some of my issues are past experience related and that’s for me to deal with.

Funny thing is - the jams might be for people to get experience and confidence - and that includes me, as they really do help me feel better about my playing. The recordings and videos help me to see where I need to improve and the tolerance of other jammers when I don’t know what the f*** I’m doing is saintly!

I really do believe that anyone with confidence issues will only feel better after coming to a Jam session and seeing just how supportive people are - especially from the guys who really really can play exceptionally well. 

vasselmeyer

In your comfort zone everything is easy. I've been playing electric gigs for thirty years and I can't imaging bring nervous playing and singing backing vocals on any size stage. However, ask me to play solo acoustic and sing lead and the knees go wonky.

Bridgehouse

mikeyrob73 said:

Bridgehouse said:

Any newbies or live playing virgins out there with confidence issues or nerves take note - you are not alone. We understand 

that will be me then. 

And I do feel the Jams are the best place for support!

Bridgehouse

vasselmeyer said:

In your comfort zone everything is easy. I've been playing electric gigs for thirty years and I can't imaging bring nervous playing and singing backing vocals on any size stage. However, ask me to play solo acoustic and sing lead and the knees go wonky.

Yep. Can’t agree more - it’s very much about context as well

Legionreturns

I'm fortunate that I don't tend to feel nerves of any kind no matter how shit I am. I just go on and have a laugh. I don't have an embarrassment chip...although I'm more than capable of embarassing others on stage with me lol 

Alnico

I've never had confidence issues with getting on the stage but confidence in my playing and memory is something I struggle with.

The last few years have been a physical and mental health war zone and having not played plugged in, stood up or live for that whole time really hurt what I had up until 2015. 

Now it's coming back and I'm glad I took that first step back towards what I know and love. It's given me a lot of determination that I'd run out of and for that I'm grateful.

I'll echo what @Bridgehouse said.
We all have periods of our lives where we "Lose it" for a bit so I know I'll get over it but anyone who's got any confidence issues for any reason needs to go to one of these Jams and see for themselves. 

You'll come away feeling like you *can* do it and that's all you'll need when you get home to make you *want* it.

munckee

"And I do feel the Jams are the best place for support!"

resounding yes as mentioned before I don't know any other players of instruments never played with anyone or anything else.  Met @MtB @Flanging_Fred and @McToot as soon as I got to woking and was instantly at ease and had a whale of a time.

Snags

Bridgehouse said:

Funny thing is - the jams might be for people to get experience and confidence - and that includes me, as they really do help me feel better about my playing. The recordings and videos help me to see where I need to improve and the tolerance of other jammers when I don’t know what the f*** I’m doing is saintly!

You're making the mistake of thinking we're all listening to you, as opposed to being wrapped up in our own insecurities, and concentrating on what we're doing because although we thought we learnt the song, turns out we forgot that little bit after the second verse or whatever ...

Although obviously I know you're all listening to me and judging me (and I'm a bit scared about playing in front of slacker now )

Bridgehouse

Snags said:

Bridgehouse said:

Funny thing is - the jams might be for people to get experience and confidence - and that includes me, as they really do help me feel better about my playing. The recordings and videos help me to see where I need to improve and the tolerance of other jammers when I don’t know what the f*** I’m doing is saintly!

You're making the mistake of thinking we're all listening to you, as opposed to being wrapped up in our own insecurities, and concentrating on what we're doing because although we thought we learnt the song, turns out we forgot that little bit after the second verse or whatever ...

Although obviously I know you're all listening to me and judging me (and I'm a bit scared about playing in front of slacker now )

Were you playing at the weekend then?

Snags

What weekend?

Funkfingers

The easiest way to overcome the self-consciousness and lack of confidence about making mistakes in public is to go out and make mistakes in public. 

I draw a comparison with people driving brand new cars. They are so worried about the possibility of scratching the paintwork until that first supermarket car park trolley ding happens. After that, the worry is over and the car can be properly enjoyed.

slacker

Although obviously I know you're all listening to me and judging me (and I'm a bit scared about playing in front of slacker now )

I get where you are coming from however the sort of Person I'm talking about is a guy I played with on an am dram musical. He was a music teacher and in a band some people had heard of. He rode me on my bass playing constantly yet asked me to borrow a pick, a lead, tuner and an amp. Turned out his guitar was borrowed too. 

I haven't met anyone like that from talkbass basechat harmony central and fretboard. Imho most people obsessed with gear I've met can use it.

Snags

Ah, that's fine.  All the gear but no idea here

Bridgehouse

All three new jams confirmed, dates in, studios booked, payment details up - very very limited “other” space at Quad and Huddersfield - still plenty of space at Woking!