Stupid injuries

Philly_Q

markslade07 said:

I dropped a couple of huge block paving edging bricks on my foot about 3 years back. Thought it would be a good idea to try and move them whilst only wearing Toms on my feet. Turns out it wasn't! Apparently nothing broken, but it still hurts sometimes to this day, so not convinced.

I did something similar.  When having gas central heating installed in my flat, I decided to dismantle the useless storage heaters the new radiators were replacing.  Once unscrewed from the wall, the bigger storage heater - basically a small brick wall in a metal box - wasn't very stable and fell on my feet.  I was wearing slippers.  It was quite funny when the British Gas bloke came charging down the corridor to see what had happened - I don't know if I yelled or if he just heard the crash.  I didn't go to the doctors but both feet went purple and it was really painful for a good week or so.

And talking about really stupid, ridiculous injuries - on Saturday I had a sudden coughing fit and something just "went" in my lower back.  It was bloody agony.  I'm still hobbling around three days later, although I don't think I've done anything too serious.

stimpsonslostson

Cycling home after my first post tailbone recovered training session... hit a greasy manhole cover on a corner at 20mph. Down I went. Tailbone is fine, the rest of me has road rash & my right thumb is sore. FFS,

Octafish

When I was about 8 I thought it would be a good idea to stick my leg through a hole in the top of one of those old-style wooden panelled roundabouts. I thought I was well cool standing, as the roundabout rotated, with one leg on the outside of the roundabout and other inside it on one of the iron frame's bars. Unfortunately my foot slipped off the iron bar and was crushed between the bar and a lump of tarmac on the ground. Result was a badly fractured ankle, a week in hospital, although there was a lot of sausage and chips, jelly and they had an Atari games console, and six weeks in plaster.

In more recent years I've managed to fire a shard of metal into my eye whilst using an angle grinder, I usually wear goggles religiously, but not this time. Fortunately A&E were able to pull it out without any surgery required.

I also managed to give myself a nose bleed a few years ago when a seized brake caliper bolt, which I was heaving on, suddenly unseized and the lead to me punching myself in the face with the spanner.

Kittyfrisk

stimpsonslostson said:

Cycling home after my first post tailbone recovered training session... hit a greasy manhole cover on a corner at 20mph. Down I went. Tailbone is fine, the rest of me has road rash & my right thumb is sore. FFS,

If I were you, I'd save the lottery stake this week.

zepp76

On the first morning of my first holiday in over 25 years I fell down the stairs of my accommodation breaking my big toe and coccyx, that was in May, my big toe has healed but my coccyx still hurts like a bitch so I feel for you I really do.

axisus

I have a few that may make some people wince ....

I worked in a design office in the 80s, drawing boards scalpels etc. I share a problem with my dad in that my feet get too hot being encased in shoes all day, so I potter around in socks (still do to this day). I had three bad injuries there. We used to boil water for a cuppa with this electric coil that you stuck in a mug of water. Mine was on the floor under my desk, I forgot it and kicked it over. Incredibly painful, the boiling water caused MASSIVE blisters over my foot, about 6 of them.

One time when busy I ran down the office (in socks of course), a scalpel blade that I hadn't noticed flipped up and I trod on it, ramming it almost an inch up into my foot. I pulled it out swearing violently (I never swear in public), hopped to the nearest sink and stuck my foot in. Blood everywhere! Damn was that painful.

The worst: Another time that I ran down the office (yeah, we got real busy at times!) A brass plate on the floor that was covering a plug socket flipped up. I effectively kicked it hard, it rammed right underneath my big toe nail, wedging my sock up into the gap having prized the nail up. Excruciatingly painful, and more so tugging the sock out! Much swearing again and needless to say I lost the nail a few days later.

At my current job some 20 years ago, I was trimming a rush job very quickly with a scalpel and a ruler. A slight misjudgement and I lopped the end of a finger off! The blood squirted out about 10 inches! I held it in a ton of tissues to stem the blood flow and rang the work nurse. She was a notoriously cantankerous and unhelpful woman. I said to her "It's an emergency, I just chopped the end of my finger off!" and her reply was "I'm just going off to a course, ring a first aider" and she slammed the phone down!

My most annoying injury was over 30 years ago. I was a long distance runner and I would do 10 mile road races. I was also a street skater. I was a week away from my main race of the year. I decided to go out on my skates (they were expensive Bauer skates), and having worn down the stoppers I found some in a junk shop for 50p, so I put them on instead of forking out £4.50 for proper ones. They were the wrong size and the wrong rubber, they caught on a wheel and stopped me dead throwing me to the pavement and badly bashing my knee. I was worried that I would miss the run next week, but in actual fact I couldn't run for a whole year, and I never again went to a running club for the rest of my life. It was a total ****** bummer and all because I didn't spend another £4!!!!!

thing

Coccyx wise I bruised mine jumping off a diveboard into the sea. God knows how I did it as I've jumped/dived off of dive boards thousands of times but just got it wrong this time. Bloody painful for a long time.

Near miss: When I was about six or seven we lived near a farm and I used to go play on the haystacks which were stacked vertically. They used to have a contraption in olden times that was pulled by a tractor and raked hay. It had dagger sharp splines about a foot apart and around a foot long. I was maybe ten feet up and fell off the haystack straight in between the splines of this rake. I can still remember it vividly.

Haych

Not an injury so much, as luckily I was ok, but the worst pain I've ever felt in my life so far was when I was a kid, probably about 11 or 12.  

My best friend and I used to go everywhere on our bikes and one day we rode a couple of miles up the coast to an old village on the shores of the Severn estuary, we used to go there a lot to be fair and mess around on the cliffs and look for old fishing tackle that had been left behind.

We were messing around on the rocks and mud flats under the cliffs when a couple of older boys showed up and started making trouble.  First they started being mouthy and were gunning for some kind of a scrap and when we didn't bite they started throwing stuff from off the cliffs at us.

We hid under the cliffs so they couldn't see us and take aim at us.  For some reason I decided to make a run for it and bolted from under the cliff to the path back up to where we'd left our bikes - I possibly thought these older kids might take off with them.

I was about halfway to the path when one of the kids on the cliff threw a fist sized pebble at me.  I saw it coming and watched as it missed........... hit a nearby boulder sticking out of the mud and ricocheted straight into my bollocks.

I've been kicked in the nads before but nothing has ever come close to the level of torturous pain I felt that day.  I don't know how but I made it the couple of miles home, all the while my mate is telling me that screaming in agony won't make the pain go away (tosser).  I was scared to check my junk and was convinced they were going to be bloodied and black with bruising.

Fortunately they were just a bit tender for a few days and no other harm came from it but boy did that hurt.  I never, ever want to experience anything like that again!

stimpsonslostson

Kittyfrisk said:

stimpsonslostson said:

Cycling home after my first post tailbone recovered training session... hit a greasy manhole cover on a corner at 20mph. Down I went. Tailbone is fine, the rest of me has road rash & my right thumb is sore. FFS,

If I were you, I'd save the lottery stake this week.

Most importantly the bike is fine! I'll heal, today I'm just a bit scraped up- though I'm having trouble deciding what's from the bike incident and what's from the BJJ sparring I was cycling home from! 

Scotty55

Dropping a weight on my foot in the gym and then pretending that I meant to do it.

DarnWeight

Shortly after graduating, few of us stayed on in our rented flat/house to try and find work rather than do the whole "go home for the summer and accidentally never come back" thing.  No job, money was tight, and one morning, home alone, I ran out of clean pants and had to face the washing.  I decided to save my pennies and hand wash in the bathoom sink (sparing myself the mile-and -a-half walk to the laundrette too).  The flat was cosy, but fairly shabby/run-down and we had all been semi-aware of the hairline crack in the sink for some time (whilst simultaneously doing nothing about it).  I set about the washing, no biggie.  Time came to squeeze out the rinsed smalls, and forgetting the crack. I place both hands over the ball of undies in the bottom of the sink, pressing down CPR-style.  Massive crack.  The entire inner section of the sink gives way and bows down and out, still attached to the wobbly plastic waste pipe.  My hands plunge through the gaping hole in the bottom of the sink, and my left arm slides smoothly along the exposed razor-sharp ceramic of the broken sink.  Gaping three inch cut gushes blood all over the bathroom...wet carpet, soapy grundies, a right mess.  I had to queasily make my way around to next door (our landlords...the flat adjoined their house), where their nanny was just heading out, took one look at my shocked pale face and bloody arm, and drove me to A&E.  The ceramic was so sharp it had made a perfectly clean cut, so no stitches required, just a whole bunch of steri-strips.

I ask you...who cuts themselves whilst washing their pants?  Fucking me.

Longtallronnie

Watching the 2005 Champions League final on the pub, Liverpool score the third goal and I punch the air with such ferocity that my fist continues in an arc ploughing straight into my bollocks. 

Emp_Fab

....and everyone bangs on about how stupid "Health and bloody safety regulations" are.  

The only idiotic one I can think of is trying to cut grass in the garden as a kid with a small pickaxe.  Swung it straight into my left foot.  The scar is still there.

I've avoided all stupid injuries since then by taking the correct precautions and wearing the right safety gear.



Here I am about to slice a lemon.

WiresDreamDisasters

I once fell onto a ketchup bottle that weirdly had a condom wrapped over the top of it. The nurse didn't believe me!

rsvmark

Yesterday- freestyle park in Mayrhofen. As a 52 yo I should know better.

Emp_Fab

Many years ago, I once got a bit too energetic with a girlfriend in the thrusting department before she was....er...  fully lubricated, and experienced the horrific pain and copious bleeding from a ripped frenulum.

Too much info ?

She fainted from the sight of the bleeding by the way.