Mental health struggles

Emp_Fab

@hobbio ; You're OK...  You're not in any danger.  You're safe.  Your physical health is fine.  This episode WILL pass and you WILL feel calm and relaxed again.  These are facts.

Do something to distract yourself...  Something that needs concentration - a puzzle, a book, learning to play something.

hobbio

MH services are a waste of time. My CCO is hardly ever available cos she's ill, and even when she's not she always forgets about me when lockdown forces meetings to go to phonecalls. Called the team this morning and they said they'd get one of her team buddies to call me urgently. No call back by 16:45, so I called them. Fobbed off and left on hold until just before 5pm when I hung up. 

I could be dead tonight and they wouldn't care. One less case to deal with. Now I've got another night to ride out with no help from the people I'm engaging with, but who aren't engaging with me.

I shouldn't have to repeatedly chase up support from a team of people who are fully aware of my mental health and are paid actual money to support me. These aren't friends I'm leaning on, these are the so called professionals. It's literally their job.

Is it any wonder I'm in the highest risk category for suicide when I'm screaming into the wind about how much I want this life to be over and I can't even hear a fucking echo?

Sambostar

If your back is up for it if you ever feel like going kayaking at any time give us a message.  Got a sit on one spare here and a buoyancy aid I can chuck in the trannie tipper.  No skill needed.  A good mate and I are always kayaking out Southampton way, Hamble, Itchen or Ashlett Creek to past Calshot spit every fortnight on the tides, winter or summer, rain, hail, gail force winds or shine.  It does level you out.  Can pick you up and drop you off or you can meet us if you want.  I've almost died a few times, it's quite fun actually.

Sambostar

I hear you on the mental health services  A good mate has sever bipolar and probably something else.  He's been in Antilope House almost as many times as jumping off the docks at 4am.  He managed to convince them he doesn't need a care co-ordinator.  Their attitude seems to be.  'OK then, that's fine'.  Same with my wife's son when he was ill.

WiresDreamDisasters

@hobbio ;

Take care of yourself man. Do something good for yourself. I don't know what, but you're a good person and you should cut yourself some slack.

hobbio

Thank you all.

I'm getting a new CCO as of next week. I've also got a distraction tomorrow as I'm booked in for tattoo work. Something to look forward to.

hobbio

Had this done today, it was a good distraction

https://imgur.com/gallery/pVE0BiW

Can't post the pic properly cos I'm on my phone.

hobbio

Heading out to a jam today, left the guitars vat hi me and I'm gonna play the room bass. Been ages since I played bass with a drummer.

shaunm

hobbio said:

Heading out to a jam today, left the guitars vat hi me and I'm gonna play the room bass. Been ages since I played bass with a drummer.

Have a good one!

hobbio

@shaunm cheers dude it was a giggle. Given myself blisters playing fast fingerstyle though, I really should play bass more.