The F1 thread

Heartfeltdawn

Piss up/brewery etc. 

http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/formula1/35677549

1. Bernie says it's not his idea to fuck with qualifying in this way - whose is it then? 

2. "I don't want to touch the current qualifying, which I think is good," he said.

"What I've said was, if the guy that's on pole won the last race, for example, we'd have to come up with some sort of a format to say in the end he starts 10th. And the guy who was third in the last race starts maybe eighth or something like that."And then you will find you get a whole mix-up of the grid and some of the guys who don't get as much TV coverage will be up at the front."Because you can guarantee the guy who's on pole will still win the race but it ain't going to be like pole man disappears and that's it." He said the teams were opposed to this idea. 

-yes. They're opposed because it is shit. Something like that works in the BTTC where you have three races in a meeting. For the supposed premium racing category, it's laughable. 

3. ""Monaco, Hungary - there's lots of places where you wouldn't want to put your money on the guy coming through the field."

-Harsh on Hungary which actually has thrown up some surprises over the years. Monaco on the other hand... it's a shit shit shit track. It's great for drivers but offers television watchers nothing.

boogieman

Please hurry up and die Bernie. You are a money-obsessed cretinous skid mark on F1's underpants.

stickyfiddle

Loving this year's pre-season farce so far. Not only do they talk crap about 2017 and quali changes throughout the first test week where there would've been plenty of positive news otherwise, but FOM made Haas taken down all their video footage from social media as it wasn't licensed properly. Never mind letting your new team show itself to the world proudly and increase the profile of F1 among those who use social media (ie 90% of everyone in the western world under the age of 40...)

It's as if someone's trying to reduce the value of the sport so they can buy it back from CVC! Now who would EVER do that, I wonder...

chillidoggy

Just seen that the new qualifying format won't be introduced for a few races yet.

stickyfiddle

chillidoggy said:

Just seen that the new qualifying format won't be introduced for a few races yet.

Christ, really? That's even worse! They might as well just change the rules at every race that's a prime number and pick the bloody grid out of a hat.

Fretwired

I still maintain sprinklers would make F1 interesting .. if Hamilton and Rosberg are a mile down the road Ferrari and Red Bull could player a joker and Bernie switches some sprinklers on to soak the track. Other than that the teams will vote to keep the status quo. To be fair it's not all Bernie's fault. He wanted to keep the big engines and the noise.

boogieman

stickyfiddle;986358" said:

chillidoggy said:

Just seen that the new qualifying format won't be introduced for a few races yet.





Christ, really? That's even worse! They might as well just change the rules at every race that's a prime number and pick the bloody grid out of a hat.

Something to do with the software for the new type of qualis not working properly. And the company that makes the software is owned by.......??

Bernie. Surprise fucking surprise.

Heartfeltdawn

stickyfiddle said:

It's as if someone's trying to reduce the value of the sport so they can buy it back from CVC! Now who would EVER do that, I wonder...

I'm going to buy it as a trade. Bernie gets a Fender HRD and a Bad Monkey and a strap, I get F1. 

Fretwired said:

I still maintain sprinklers would make F1 interesting .. if Hamilton and Rosberg are a mile down the road Ferrari and Red Bull could player a joker and Bernie switches some sprinklers on to soak the track. Other than that the teams will vote to keep the status quo. To be fair it's not all Bernie's fault. He wanted to keep the big engines and the noise.

If we're going for manufactured situations, then introduce this rule: during the race, every driver must complete one full lap around the track with the pit speed limiter on. They are free to take it whenever they like. If you complete the race and haven't done that lap, you're instantly disqualified. That would lead to some position changes, some interesting tactics (you could use the slow lap as a cooldown period, perhaps prolong the life of tyres, get one more lap out of some really fucked up tyres etc) and quite probably some faster cars coming through the pack having taken their slow lap earlier allowing some of the lesser lights some time at the front. 

Garthy

I think the big question is- what order will Mclaren, Manor and Renault be in come November. 9th, 10th and 11th certainly, but which order?

HAL9000

One interesting rule change would be to insist that the pit lane is staffed entirely by people poached from the local Qwik-Fit. That way the driver pulls into the pit and first of all has to go through the rigmarole of whether he wants premium-branded tyres or a set of Centauros only to learn that his preferred choice won't be in stock before Tuesday, he then has to find out what is in stock whilst successfully managing to turn down a 'free' winter check and a cup of burn-the-roof-of-your-mouth-out black coffee. This would definitely put a lot of drivers out of position and make for some interesting overtaking opportunities later on in the race.

Heartfeltdawn

HAL9000 said:

One interesting rule change would be to insist that the pit lane is staffed entirely by people poached from the local Qwik-Fit.

It wouldn't work. The pit lane would still be more efficiently run than F1 in general. 

FX_Munkee

Fretwired said:

I still maintain sprinklers would make F1 interesting .. if Hamilton and Rosberg are a mile down the road Ferrari and Red Bull could player a joker and Bernie switches some sprinklers on to soak the track. Other than that the teams will vote to keep the status quo. To be fair it's not all Bernie's fault. He wanted to keep the big engines and the noise.

I assume all the drivers will be dressed in oversized Nomex penguin costumes and the podium will be changed to a large ramp with slippery foam on it?

Actually I'd probably watch that.

Fretwired

FX_Munkee said:

Fretwired said:

I still maintain sprinklers would make F1 interesting .. if Hamilton and Rosberg are a mile down the road Ferrari and Red Bull could player a joker and Bernie switches some sprinklers on to soak the track. Other than that the teams will vote to keep the status quo. To be fair it's not all Bernie's fault. He wanted to keep the big engines and the noise.

I assume all the drivers will be dressed in oversized Nomex penguin costumes and the podium will be changed to a large ramp with slippery foam on it?

Actually I'd probably watch that.

That's a good idea ... I see VW have torpedoed Bernie's plan to go back to big engines. They are interested, but only if F1 retains the current engine format (which is relevant to road cars) and only if the rules remain stable for five years. I think the only hope for F1 is to recruit more manufacturers and have unlimited development. The sport (such as it is) probably needs VW plus Ford and BMW to return.

Fretwired

Channel 4 are throwing the kitchen sink at F1 .. what a team ... Murray Walker's back.

http://www.radiotimes.com/news/2016-03-08/steve-jones-to-front-channel-4-formula-1-coverage-alongside-david-coulthard-murray-walker-and-bumper-presenting-team

chillidoggy

Suzie Wolff is well hot.

Paul_C

the lady on the right doesn't seem to be casting a shadow . . . equal opportunities for ghosts ?

Fretwired

Not bad - some ex-F1 drivers, an ex-F1 test driver who is married to the head of the Mercedes team, an ex-team owner and the legendary Murry Walker. Puts Sky in the shade ...

stickyfiddle

Renault is yellow, quelle surprise?

http://www.f1fanatic.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2016/03/renault-rs16-3.jpg

http://www.f1fanatic.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2016/03/XPB_795400_HiRes.jpg

Fretwired

I like the look of that Renault ...

stickyfiddle

Fretwired said:

I like the look of that Renault ...

I don't dislike it. Anything's better than the current melange of black/white/silver that accounts for half the grid.