I'm changing the way I live.

jellyroll

Drew_fx said:

jellyroll said:

Teetonetal said:

Drew_fx said:

Exactly the sort of situation that I do not ever want to be in. Better stop shagging now I suppose!

Teetonetal said:

I really try to live like this but there is a balance between time & money that is hard to strike. When my daughter was born, my wife quit her job as she wants to be a full time mum - this means I have to work more... so have less time for friends and family.. but I think overall it's better for my daughter to be with her mum..

lol, I'd love to say your missing out and it's magic, but the real world view is that it's just sleepless nights, nappies, poo, vomit, more sleepless nights more poo and the occasional bleary eyed awwwwwww moment. Keep your pants on dude!

Quite right. Don't have kids, then you won't have to work so many hours and will have time to spend with the kids that you don't have.....

If they let me back in the creche, I can get my fuck-trophy-feelsies that way!

Less time at work = more time shagging. I tip my hat to you..... ^:)^

Teetonetal

underdog said:

Teetonetal;553978" said:

I really try to live like this but there is a balance between time & money that is hard to strike. When my daughter was born, my wife quit her job as she wants to be a full time mum - this means I have to work more... so have less time for friends and family.. but I think overall it's better for my daughter to be with her mum..

One thing I am grateful for is facetime - living in a foreign country whilst family is at home is really tough - facetime has been a wonderful thing for us, I bought my parents an Ipad so that every week I can call them with video and they can see their Grand-daughter... The difference is wonderful - when they visit my (16 month) daughter knows who they are and there is no adjustment. and seeing the smile on my mum's face is worth it...

why is your daughter not better off spending more time with you, or equal time with both of you? Seems a very harsh view to me, while families think like this the father will always been seen as less important by the law.

Did younger have a discussion where you agreed to sacrifice time with your daughter in order for the mother to enjoy the lions share?

I am the "mother" to my 4 year old, I spend most time with him since he was a few no the old as my wife can earn more than me. It's been so good, the most positive experience of my life and sad as I realise how much Kisses out on the first time around.

well, put your earning situation in reverse and there you have it. We felt 1 parent should , if possible be at home full time, I had the better job - both in terms of earning and in terms of flexibility. So it's logical this way. 

Jokey remarks in other post aside, I love my daughter to bits - hard work for sure but rewarding indeed. I am very jealous of my wife's lifestyle - but feel my sacrifice is worth it - oh and I do get quality one on one time with the daughter because we make sure it happens.

still I prefer not to go into this topic any more, it's highly emotive and people get very judgmental about other people's choices. All we try to do is make the best of it right?

Drew_TNBD

Teetonetal said:

still I prefer not to go into this topic any more, it's highly emotive and people get very judgmental about other people's choices. All we try to do is make the best of it right?

I don't think anyone is judging you dude.

underdog

Teetonetal;554177" said:

underdog said:

Teetonetal;553978" said:I really try to live like this but there is a balance between time & money that is hard to strike. When my daughter was born, my wife quit her job as she wants to be a full time mum - this means I have to work more... so have less time for friends and family.. but I think overall it's better for my daughter to be with her mum..



One thing I am grateful for is facetime - living in a foreign country whilst family is at home is really tough - facetime has been a wonderful thing for us, I bought my parents an Ipad so that every week I can call them with video and they can see their Grand-daughter... The difference is wonderful - when they visit my (16 month) daughter knows who they are and there is no adjustment. and seeing the smile on my mum's face is worth it...

why is your daughter not better off spending more time with you, or equal time with both of you? Seems a very harsh view to me, while families think like this the father will always been seen as less important by the law.



Did younger have a discussion where you agreed to sacrifice time with your daughter in order for the mother to enjoy the lions share?



I am the "mother" to my 4 year old, I spend most time with him since he was a few no the old as my wife can earn more than me. It's been so good, the most positive experience of my life and sad as I realise how much Kisses out on the first time around.










well, put your earning situation in reverse and there you have it. We felt 1 parent should , if possible be at home full time, I had the better job - both in terms of earning and in terms of flexibility. So it's logical this way. 

Jokey remarks in other post aside, I love my daughter to bits - hard work for sure but rewarding indeed. I am very jealous of my wife's lifestyle - but feel my sacrifice is worth it - oh and I do get quality one on one time with the daughter because we make sure it happens.



still I prefer not to go into this topic any more, it's highly emotive and people get very judgmental about other people's choices. All we try to do is make the best of it right?

Agree, making the best of it is what we all do, sorry didn't mean to sound like an attack was more an annoyance that women sometimes feel it's their right to be the parent regardless of suitability or what's best for the child. Not at your misses, just at perceptions, sorry mate.

Teetonetal

underdog;554201" said:

[quote="Teetonetal;554177"]underdog said:

Teetonetal;553978" said:I really try to live like this but there is a balance between time & money that is hard to strike. When my daughter was born, my wife quit her job as she wants to be a full time mum - this means I have to work more... so have less time for friends and family.. but I think overall it's better for my daughter to be with her mum..



One thing I am grateful for is facetime - living in a foreign country whilst family is at home is really tough - facetime has been a wonderful thing for us, I bought my parents an Ipad so that every week I can call them with video and they can see their Grand-daughter... The difference is wonderful - when they visit my (16 month) daughter knows who they are and there is no adjustment. and seeing the smile on my mum's face is worth it...

why is your daughter not better off spending more time with you, or equal time with both of you? Seems a very harsh view to me, while families think like this the father will always been seen as less important by the law.



Did younger have a discussion where you agreed to sacrifice time with your daughter in order for the mother to enjoy the lions share?



I am the "mother" to my 4 year old, I spend most time with him since he was a few no the old as my wife can earn more than me. It's been so good, the most positive experience of my life and sad as I realise how much Kisses out on the first time around.










well, put your earning situation in reverse and there you have it. We felt 1 parent should , if possible be at home full time, I had the better job - both in terms of earning and in terms of flexibility. So it's logical this way. 

Jokey remarks in other post aside, I love my daughter to bits - hard work for sure but rewarding indeed. I am very jealous of my wife's lifestyle - but feel my sacrifice is worth it - oh and I do get quality one on one time with the daughter because we make sure it happens.



still I prefer not to go into this topic any more, it's highly emotive and people get very judgmental about other people's choices. All we try to do is make the best of it right?

Agree, making the best of it is what we all do, sorry didn't mean to sound like an attack was more an annoyance that women sometimes feel it's their right to be the parent regardless of suitability or what's best for the child. Not at your misses, just at perceptions, sorry mate.

[/quote]

Oh seriously no offense taken at all! I Didn't read it that way at all - just I think discussing parenting always ends up as a minefield so avoid it where possible

Back to the op - working out what's truly important in life is a skill!

Bezzer

@spacecadet I'm very about the loss of your Grandma.  Hope you're coping OK.

Good luck changing your way of life, if you truly can manage the balance that's right for you there's no doubt you will be massively happier for it, even if you do have to make a few sacrifices to achieve it. 

Teetonetal

Drew_fx;554195" said:

Teetonetal said:

still I prefer not to go into this topic any more, it's highly emotive and people get very judgmental about other people's choices. All we try to do is make the best of it right?












I don't think anyone is judging you dude.

I'm sure of that too, have a wisdom

spacecadet

Thanks for all the wishes and sharing your own stories folks. Lots of soul searching and planning needed. In answer to some comments, no I'm not daft enough to quit working, become a hippy and live off the land. I like smelling nice and the small plot of land I do have has shit soil! It's just as others have said, getting the work vs personal life balance right. Knowing when to say "you know what, I don't need to finish that report tonight, it can wait". Also working smart as an old boss used to say. Don't work hard work smart. With any luck I will have turned my life around by the end of the year and found some level of happiness. 

Interestingly, as I was thinking about this post, a friend posted this on facebook. I think it speaks volumes.

maidenfan

Painful song, this one also gets me...(sorry about the poor quality)

monquixote

Someone once said to me that when you do something like study for an exam, or put some money in the bank you are selling today to buy tomorrow and when you go to the pub instead of studying or blow a load of cash on a holiday you are selling tomorrow to buy today.

I find it a really interesting way of thinking about choices as focusing only on on the later results in you achieving very little, but focussing entirely on the former leaves you as the richest man in the cemetery. 

Kebabkid

Sorry for your loss @spacecadet and a really wise and pertinent thread!

Balancing life with work, family, friends and leaving some time for yourself is never easy. If music is your solace and makes you happy, give it a little time each day or each week and hopefully, the rest will follow.

I like listening to this song when reflecting on the sort of thing you're talking about.


I wish you and your family well at this sad time and hopefully, good times ahead.