The cricket thread

scrumhalf

How to get Smith out:

Grassy knoll (you know what I mean). 
Two bowlers bowling at once. Helps with the over rate, too. 
Dodgy lock on the away dresing room's toilet, he's timed out.
Put LSD in his drink. 

munckee

Won't matter if he runs out of partners.

VimFuego

so this series has really been between England and Steve Smith (and Smith has pretty comprehensively spanked us).
Funny sport cricket, if he was a sprinter or a cyclist or something like that you'd accuse him of cheating, but unless he has some not yet invented doo hickey in his bat, then it's just down to his skill.

octatonic

This test series would have been an utter humiliation for Australia if it wasn't for Smith.

earwighoney

octatonic said:

This test series would have been an utter humiliation for Australia if it wasn't for Smith.

I think the test series would have been an humiliation for test cricket if it wasn't for Smith. 

Well, maybe not that far there's been some good bowling but there's been some very poor captaincy, fielding at times and some truly abysmal batting from both sides. 

Heartfeltdawn

RandallFlagg said:

iseverynamegone said:

I’m so sick of Steve Smith 

Don't be, he's an oustanding batsman and England should relish the challenge, how does Smit go against other teams? Someone must be able to get him.

No obvious weakness. The country he has the lowest average in is Bangladesh (29) but only two Tests there. In South Africa, UAE, and Sri Lanka he averages 41 to 43. 

At home he averages 77, away he averages 61, 4 Tests played at neutral venues (UAE and England) he averages 34. 

Spin? In 6 Tests in India he averages 60 with 3 tons. he can play spin OK. 

The home average of 77: That's in 29 Tests with 13 tons. He's a flat track bully who nearly as much a bully on other types of wickets. This summer in England has been good for seamers as you can see from the averages of both sides and int he county scene. Smith's been on a different planet. I've seen good players on good wickets have great series but this has been something else. Maybe Lara in 1999 against Oz and in 2001 against Sri Lanka in SL. 

VimFuego

mind you, Smith doesn't explain our poor batting performance. 

earwighoney

VimFuego said:

so this series has really been between England and Steve Smith (and Smith has pretty comprehensively spanked us).
Funny sport cricket, if he was a sprinter or a cyclist or something like that you'd accuse him of cheating, but unless he has some not yet invented doo hickey in his bat, then it's just down to his skill.

It's an odd thing to say when you didn't include football.  

IMO it's a strange old world when more cricketers have been punished for doping than football.  IMO that's not down to whether there's doping in football, it's more down to how reluctant the officials in football are to punish it.  There have been rumours flying around for a very long time, eg Pep Guardiola hiring Lance Armstrong's Doctor (I can't imagine it was down to his expertise in cycling)

VimFuego

earwighoney said:

VimFuego said:

so this series has really been between England and Steve Smith (and Smith has pretty comprehensively spanked us).
Funny sport cricket, if he was a sprinter or a cyclist or something like that you'd accuse him of cheating, but unless he has some not yet invented doo hickey in his bat, then it's just down to his skill.

It's an odd thing to say when you didn't include football.  

IMO it's a strange old world when more cricketers have been punished for doping than football.  IMO that's not down to whether there's doping in football, it's more down to how reluctant the officials in football are to punish it.  There have been rumours flying around for a very long time, eg Pep Guardiola hiring Lance Armstrong's Doctor (I can't imagine it was down to his expertise in cycling)

not sure what your point is. I didn't mention a lot of sports where doping is commonplace (though TBH I had no idea about doping in football).

crunchman

NFL is the worst for doping.  They aren't signed up to WADA.  You get a 4 game ban for getting caught for a first offence, so there is no deterrent at all.

scrumhalf

Smith fails! 

VimFuego

YES!!! 100ish lead may be enough.

scrumhalf

Tail's wagging a bit. 

scrumhalf

What a catch by Burns! 

scrumhalf

Tricky 20 minutes to bat. 

crunchman

scrumhalf said:

Tricky 20 minutes to bat. 

Bit worried we will be 2 or 3 down by stumps!

scrumhalf

Burns could have taken a bit longer after that whack. 

RandallFlagg

Just got home after a horrendous Friday evening commute, heard plenty of action and just watched the wickets, that lad Curran has it swinging like the campest of LGBT Pride marches. What a bowler. Why TF has he not played in every match?

Get him on the plane to NZ & SA.

RandallFlagg

scrumhalf said:

What a catch by Burns! 

stunning

guitars4you

A good day and far better than expected - Let's build on this tomorrow and ensure the series finishes 2 all - Apparently it would be the first 2v2 draw since 1972 - Interesting issue on that fact - I was at Headingley in 1972 and did not go back again for  test match until 2019