Unpleasant chores

roundthebend

Most chores are unpleasant - it's pretty much the definition. But what jobs have you had to do that are thoroughly unpleasant?

By "had to do" I mean they fall upon you as the person responsible for doing it and you can't justify the cost or get anybody else to help.

We have an old freezer in the garage which I use to store bulk ordered meat from the butcher. I noticed a grim smell in the garage yesterday and on further investigation discovered the freezer had thawed out and the meat has started to rot. No flies fortunately, but it absolutely stinks. My task is to empty it into bags and then into my trailer so I can take it to the local dump. I'm probably going to vomit at some point. Why couldn't this have happened in winter when the garage was probably cold enough to keep it from stinking?

Sporky

roundthebend said:

Why couldn't this have happened in winter when the garage was probably cold enough to keep it from stinking?

If it had you wouldn't have noticed until Spring.

Snap

the worst...

We have a lower ground floor, in which there is a bog which has a sanipump attached to it, to pump waste upto ground level.

Couple of days after we moved in, it bust. So I dismantled it and cleaned it out. WIth a hosepipe. Still bust, and then I replaced it form an eyewatering amount of money.

That was a truly shit job

Vaiai

My wife is a vet nurse and we have 4 dogs - she has a habit of doing their anal glands of an evening...it stinks - not something I do but thought I'd share (This is why your mutt drags it's bum along the ground...)

fields5069

Ew, anal glands. Our dog mostly eats dried food and gets his squeezed by a groomer every few months. Very unpleasant smell.

bluechargeboy

Unblocking a fat-berg from my main drain into which poo also goes. Oh my god.

boogieman

Clearing up after our dog had got stuck in the bathroom one day. He had chronic diarrhoea with blood in it. The stench was indescribable and he was covered in shit and in huge distress. I had to rush him to the vet and it turned out the poor bastard had a tumour in his bowel. I had to have him put down.

The same day my wife came home with our new baby daughter and I had to explain what had happened to her dog while she'd been in hospital. Unpleasant on so many levels. 

paul_c2

I remember once going on an AI course (as in, artificial insemination of cattle) and there was one cow on the course which was particularly nervous and was scouring (very loose poo). Usually when you stick your arm shoulder-deep into the rectum of a cow, you can feel a poo coming due to the solidity and withdraw the arm to let her poo, then start again. With this cow though, the loose movement meant it was able to, under pressure, escape from all edges around where your arm was, creating a powerful horizontal fountain of poo which soaked everything, everywhere - face, clothing, equipment, etc. It took quite a lot of paper towel to clean up after that particular cow.

So, to those AIing cows regularly, you have my sympathies.

roundthebend

I think I got off lightly then.
The deed is done. I tied a cloth around my nose and mouth then removed the freezer trays onto the driveway. There was a lot of liquid slushing around. Flies were there within seconds and the stench was horrendous. I dumped everything into those heavy duty garden refuse sacks, twisted them tightly and put them in my trailer. The chaps at the tip didn't even raise an eyebrow at the smell, it was already pretty grim next to the household waste skip.

Worst bit was the vacuum packed trays which were now all floppy with fluid and gas. A whole chicken had blown up inside the bag like a balloon, and it weighed almost nothing. I even struggle to get it into the bag because it was so floppy.

Then I had to dispose of the fluids. There must have been a couple of litres of blood and goo. I decided to dig a deep hole in a scrubby area of my garden which we'll be converting to a driveway in the near future. Once the hole was deep I poured the slush into it, covered with the loose soil and watered it down to try and lock in the smell. I just have to finish cleaning up the freezer a bit to get rid of the smell in the short term. Long term it's obviously getting chucked away but I need to find a chance to move it out.

I've rinsed the trailer down but also need to clean my driveway which still smells a bit bad.

Our new neighbours moved in today. They haven't met my wife yet, so probably think I was disposing of her body! On which point, I don't think I'll ever bother killing someone because the body disposal is just too disgusting. 

TheBlueWolf

Being woken up by me hysterical then 3 year old who had vomited, Exorcist style, all over her bed.

Somehow I managed to calm her down while clearing the mess up, and her, without adding double my body weight in puke but that kinda scene stays with you.

Philly_Q

I've done the exact same thing, getting rid of an old chest freezer which died in the garage with a load of meat and stuff in it.

We took the freezer, once emptied and cleaned up a bit, to the tip in the back of my dad's old Cortina estate.  I'm not sure the council rubbish tip would accept something like that nowadays?

CabbageCat

In my halls at Uni there was a standing £50 fine for any student who barfed (unless it's in a toilet etc). I showed a reasonable level of resilience when dealing with a mate's chunderpile once and from then on I became the group's sick tidier. Even when I wasn't drinking that night I'd have friends knock on my door to help clean up someone's puke.

Sporky

Philly_Q said:

We took the freezer, once emptied and cleaned up a bit, to the tip in the back of my dad's old Cortina estate.  I'm not sure the council rubbish tip would accept something like that nowadays?

I took a dead fridge to the community recycling centre. The chaps took it out of the car for me and thanked me for bringing it to them, not dumping it at the side of the road somewhere. They are very accommodating in my experience; smile, ask politely and they'll help.

octatonic

Anything that is truly horrible to do is worth paying someone.

Sporky

octatonic said:

Anything that is truly horrible to do is worth paying someone.

ChunderChums.co.uk are worth every penny.

roundthebend

octatonic said:

Anything that is truly horrible to do is worth paying someone.

I'm not entirely sure who I would have called upon. And I doubt I could afford to pay the asking price - surely nobody would do that job for minimum wage!

professorben

In the words of Rich Hall
"a friend will help you move, a good friend will help you move a body, I have two good freinds"

professorben

Sporky said:

Philly_Q said:

We took the freezer, once emptied and cleaned up a bit, to the tip in the back of my dad's old Cortina estate.  I'm not sure the council rubbish tip would accept something like that nowadays?

I took a dead fridge to the community recycling centre. The chaps took it out of the car for me and thanked me for bringing it to them, not dumping it at the side of the road somewhere. They are very accommodating in my experience; smile, ask politely and they'll help.

Did you drive away sharpish before they opened it? 

WezV

Replaced the syphon in a toilet the other day.  

It's not the shitty end so shouldn't be an unpleasant job, but someone had obviously been putting toilet cleaner in the cistern for decades.... Two by two my hands were dyed blue.  and stunk like a public toilet for a few hours afterwards

octatonic

roundthebend said:

octatonic said:

Anything that is truly horrible to do is worth paying someone.

I'm not entirely sure who I would have called upon. And I doubt I could afford to pay the asking price - surely nobody would do that job for minimum wage!

Don't you have pikey's round your way?

Sporky

professorben said:

Sporky said:

I took a dead fridge to the community recycling centre. The chaps took it out of the car for me and thanked me for bringing it to them, not dumping it at the side of the road somewhere. They are very accommodating in my experience; smile, ask politely and they'll help.

Did you drive away sharpish before they opened it? 

Not particularly.

I wanted them to know I knew they knew.