Legal help with social services - redux and clarification

rlw

I would probably be in police cell by now, having misbehaved somewhat.  

It sounds like you are doing a brilliant job.

boogieman

I'm sad to hear this @TheOtherDennis ; but not really that surprised. We had a similar scenario with my dad when he was discharged from hospital (although maybe not as bad from what you've described). He was sent home after several months in hospital after suffering a second, drastically dibilitating stroke. He was completely bed bound afterwards and we were advised he'd need four visits a day from a care company. This was charged at £300 a week. We were never advised that he might be eligible for anything other than paid care. Getting any information out of the hospital and social services was like pulling teeth. Frankly it was a relief that he died after just six weeks at home: he had no quality of life at all, couldn't move, couldn't speak, just laid in bed gradually dying, laying in his own piss. I have no idea to this day what would have happened when his savings ran out.... presumably my stepmother would have had to sell their house? There seems to be no help, no advice and fuck all dignity for people in this position. 

TheOtherDennis

@boogieman I can only sympathise with your dad's situation, it must have been utterly horrible to have witnessed that. My father-in-law had a series of strokes five years and is now in a home with vascular dementia, but his care is paid for because my OH's sister is a retired nurse who knew what was coming and knew how the system worked. She wasn't able to help me because, as I say, we were stiffed and she didn't get the chance.

My OH is now effectively paraplegic and needs four care visits a day, too. That's the maximum anyone will be offered and the idea that your dad did not qualify for continuous care, and thus have his care paid for, is frankly appalling.

My OH is only different because she can communicate and has me with her, so when our carers come, they use a portable hoist (which I am legally forbidden from using on my own) to lift her to and from the various places. You're very lucky they only charged your dad £300 a week, I'm apparently facing £900.

As for your step mum losing the home, that would be completely illegal. They could, had it come to it, have put a charge on your dad's half of the house, so when your step mum sold the house and downsized, or died and left it to you, say, your dad's half of the estate would have been subject to a charge.

His savings would - or rather should - have been mostly safe below the level of £23,500 (there's a complicated calculation to do with the value of the contribution) and untouched below the level of £14,000.

Our problem is that I'm self-employed, so what my wife has been through over the past few years has had a massive effect on my income - clients can no longer get me as instantly as they used to and have deserted me, and my income is now 75% down from its height in 2007. But I still have to pay the mortgage, somehow, and we've been chewing through our savings down the years. We'll now have to use at least some of those to pay for Jan's care.

I'll stop there, because I could write several thousand words about all this, and I don't want to bore the pants of you all. But as I said to the hospital staff, it's all very well expecting me to adjust now that our life has been turned upside down, but that takes time. They couldn't give a shit about that, and I'll have to do it all on the fly.

Anyway, I'll move on now. I do know that there's a lot to do and move and change and take in.

boogieman

Dear god, £900 a week? That's incredible. How do they justify that amount? More importantly, how are you going to pay it? (I don't expect an answer btw, that's entirely your business).

Sympathy doesn't seem nearly enough, but you certainly have mine. Not sure I'd cope in the same set of circumstances tbh but I guess you just have to get on with it. All the best.