Humanist Celebrant-led funerals

mart

I have a lot of respect for people who choose a humanist celebration if they don't have any particular faith themselves. If you go for a religious ceremony when you don't believe in that religion, it just seems odd and false. Certainly if you have a religious wedding ceremony when you have no faith then you'll be going along with all sorts of statements and promises that you wouldn't agree with or believe. I would find that difficulty.

However, I went to a humanist wedding a few years back and found it slightly sad, and missing something. It felt as if somebody had tried to scientifically dissect marriage and what it means, and put together a ceremony based on the ingredients they could identify. It felt very rational and logical, which is fine, but it also felt slightly cold and well, just missing something.

Put another way, it was a bit like somebody explaining why a '59 burst is so great, by just talking about the density of the wood and the number of winds in the pickups etc. You can only go so far with that approach to understanding it. There's something else in there, whether you call it mojo or magic, that eludes description.

Chalky

No problem with humanist funerals but at the only one i went to, it was strictly forbidden for the various speech-givers to mention religion in any way.  Which was a major upset for the old aunts and uncles and some of the friends.

57Deluxe

I tracked down a guy I worked with in the 80s via his FBook and saw that he had gone off and got married again recently in some dodgy ceremony - can anyone tell me WTF is going on here??

http://i67.tinypic.com/egxun5.jpg

TimmyO

That's a "hand fasting" 

In the UK it's mostly seen as going back to pre-christian traditions (pagan) of our Islands - but in some countries the symbolic tying together of hands is still a part of civil 'church' ceremonies too. 

57Deluxe

/\ oh OK - well at least it wasn't a Hand Fisting which I would be a bit more wary of...

ThorpyFX

sounds like a lovely celebration, sorry for your families loss though.

rlw

octatonic said:

If I am not allowed my first choice then I'll be having one as well.

Viking style pyre on the beach at sunset?

TheBlueWolf

Hand fasting is quite popular I believe. In a similar vein to funerals, some people opt out of a traditional church ceremony and go for something different.

ToneControl

I went to  one, it was easily the best I've been to

I was brought up to be religious, but it's failed to  take root

Me and my  Mrs are planning a swift, ceremony-free  cremation, inspired by David Bowie. i.e. no one in attendance.
Followed by a  handful of people chucking the ashes in the sea  at some point

bbill335

My grandad had a proper hippie burial under a sapling and stuff, not a religious guy because he was far too sceptical, but he had a vicar AND a separate church ceremony! A big fuss was made because he'd been a mayor, and that's just how he'd have liked it. 

IvisonGuitars

My mum is an avid funeral attendee, we often joke she's making a career out of it (she's actually a mobile hairdresser who has/had a lot of elderly clients). She's been to lots of 'traditional' CofE services but recently has been to a couple of humanist ceremonies and said they were lovely. Very much celebration the persons life with their own choice of reading or music.

That's definitely the way for me. I do think, by the time (hopefully) I shuffle off, that cremation will be mandatory due to running out of space in graveyards, so i'd like a tree to be planted using my ashes.

Be great if it was an Ash tree then, once the local dogs had stopped peeing up me, someone could cut it down and make a guitar out of it! :-)

fretmeister

I'm going to a mixture of transplant and medical research.

Probably just be skin and bone left.

Rocker

I can't understand how any funeral could be described as the "best" they ever attended. Funerals are the end of life and if there is no belief in an afterlife, the end. Funerals are sad occasions even if I did not know the individual who has died. He/she is gone and won't be with us ever again.

Evilmags

Rocker said:

I can't understand how any funeral could be described as the "best" they ever attended. Funerals are the end of life and if there is no belief in an afterlife, the end. Funerals are sad occasions even if I did not know the individual who has died. He/she is gone and won't be with us ever again.

A bit insulting to everyone who planned their funeral to be just that. A friend of mine´s father passed away and insisted on a massive (400 people) party at his house after he was buried, and provided about 1000 bottles of wine, catering, a Jazz band and a lot of whisky. Afterwards all of his children´s friends took them into central Edinburgh and celebrated a life well lived and people left behind in a good place, with good futures, because of this man. 

Compare that to the Spanish tradition of staring at a corpse for 24 hours then interring it. Straight after the poor bastard is dead. No drink, just pure, exaggerated misery (the whole fucking village comes round to state at mr dead person). And about five minutes after the service the director starts hassling mum in law for money (until told to fuck right off by yours truly). Know what I´d rather inflict on my loved ones.   

TimmyO

Rocker said:

I can't understand 

Don't give up - you'll get there in the end 

nick_s

Sorry for your loss buddy.

We had a humanist funeral for my dad a few years ago.  Less emphasis on the loss (as let's face it, we all know what's been lost), with more focus on the good times, the things to continue to hold dear.

As funerals go, it was as good as it could get.  Definitely recommended for those with no real faith to speak of.

mudslide73

My Aunt's funeral was like this even down to the cardboard coffin (very expensive apparently). It was the perfect send off for her. My wife's Granddad had a celebrant and he was incredible - really did the bloke proud. Deffo the way for me. 

Chalky

ToneControl said:

I went to  one, it was easily the best I've been to

I was brought up to be religious, but it's failed to  take root

Me and my  Mrs are planning a swift, ceremony-free  cremation, inspired by David Bowie. i.e. no one in attendance.
Followed by a  handful of people chucking the ashes in the sea  at some point

This makes me chuckle - people who are humanist and not religious but who get particular about what happens to ashes.  To a sober mind like mine, the ashes are just ashes, so why put them anywhere?

mynamesnotbob

Well I have a preference for no funeral but if it's mandated (as Funerals are to provide closure to the living, nothing really to do with the dead), then a Humanist funeral, but whatever the gathering or lack of, it's body to science, as I don't like religion and have been up on recycling since getting a blue peter green badge.

I've been to two humanist funerals, and they were really good fun! Better than most weddings, and the first time I'd ever really celebrated someones life like that. As someone who doesn't enjoy funerals, why would I not want anyone who would show up to mine to have a good time rather than a depressing half day.

But if I am outlived by someone who it makes a difference to, they can (as long as it' doesn't cause offence or get them locked up) do what they want - I'll be dead, so couldn't really give a crap.

TimmyO

Chalky said:

ToneControl said:

I went to  one, it was easily the best I've been to

I was brought up to be religious, but it's failed to  take root

Me and my  Mrs are planning a swift, ceremony-free  cremation, inspired by David Bowie. i.e. no one in attendance.
Followed by a  handful of people chucking the ashes in the sea  at some point

This makes me chuckle - people who are humanist and not religious but who get particular about what happens to ashes.  To a sober mind like mine, the ashes are just ashes, so why put them anywhere?

What about humanism precludes liking the idea of it?