Band Advice drugs.......

FelineGuitars

When I was much younger I had aspirations of being in a band etc . 

My problem is that I cannot stand cigarette smoke - it completely does me in.

Back then it was pre- smoking ban

Being around 4 other guys who all smoked in an enclosed rehearsal space or in a car or van going to and fro, just killed me so I gave up on being in a band situation (as I soon twigged that finding a smoke free band wasn't going to be easy and I seemed like I was odd because I couldn't handle it)
So I concentrated on making and repairing guitars instead and being able to enjoy the smoke free zone dictated by health and safety rules in the workshop.
So I do feel for you.
You have to go with decisions that work for you.

Ironically my partner smokes but never in my presence- always goes outside .
I wish she didn't as she must spend £50+ a week on cigarettes and it would pay a few bills if she didn't or buy her something nice.

Gassage

@professorben I do think you've a remarkably polarised view on the drug issue per se.

I do, however, totally get the band issues (two seperate things in my mind) and I also agree that it's unprofessional and it's clearly not comfortable for you, so I'd suggest you neck it off.

I smoke pretty much every eve but I'd never smoke during rehersals or gigs (as noted above, I lose all sense of pitch when I smoke- can't tune a guitar as an example).

professorben

Gassage said:

@professorben I do think you've a remarkably polarised view on the drug issue per se.

I do, however, totally get the band issues (two seperate things in my mind) and I also agree that it's unprofessional and it's clearly not comfortable for you, so I'd suggest you neck it off.

I smoke pretty much every eve but I'd never smoke during rehersals or gigs (as noted above, I lose all sense of pitch when I smoke- can't tune a guitar as an example).

I could say the same back to you, as a user I'd say you are struggling to associate the recreational activity with the criminal and damaging aspect of drug use. 

Do you grow your own
and then harvest it ?

Does that supply enough to keep you in hash given you smoke pretty much every night?

Buy it from someone?
Who? 
What do they do with the money?
Where do they get it from? Presumably in much greater quantities?

Who supplies the supplier??

For every, Jesse there is a Tuco. 

Teyeplayer

Funnily enough, I used to know a guy who made similar assertions about drinking as you make about weed.

He dated my sister for a while, and it turned out after they broke up that he used to hit her -enough to lead to a misscarriage.

Sometime after they fortunately split he started drinking, ended up a worse man than ever.

Turns out what he was scared of was himself. 

I don't smoke, I do drink. I work (musically, in a professional capacity) with a number of people who smoke, some of these heavily, but they don't drink. What I've learnt, is that whole 'judge not thing' well that was pretty wise advice and I'm as far from the Christian right as you can get!

Stop judging dude and you'll feel less angry.

...and yes I do think you are deflecting your anger about events onto the consumption of an inanimate herb, but that doesn't take being a professor to work out.

professorben

Teyeplayer said:

Funnily enough I used to know a guy who made similar aspirations about drinking. As you made about weed.

He dated my sister for a while, and it turned out after they broke up that he used to hit her -enough to lead to a misscarriage.

Sometime after they fortunately split he started drinking, ended up a worse man than ever.

Turns out what he was scared of was himself. 

I don't smoke, I do drink. I work (musically, in a professional capacity) with a number of people who smoke, some of these heavily, but they don't drink. What I've learnt, is that whole 'judge not thing' well that was pretty wise advice and I'm as far from the Christian right as you can get!

Stop judging dude and you'll feel less angry.

...and yes I do think you are deflecting your anger about events onto the consumption of an inanimate herb, but that doesn't take being a professor to work out.

I admit it's a tricky one for me, as drug use is pretty entwined with rock music, but as I live in east anglia not LA, I reckon it's ok to not want to bring that element into my music life.

im sorry about what happened to your sister, the guy sounds like a tool, I'm not entirely sure what the link you are making is tho??

im not a violent person and I don't believe the guys in my band are either, it's just a bit of a worry. 

I guess I am judging, but don't we have to? Isn't it a part of a civilised society to make a stand against criminality? 
 

Teyeplayer

The link is that I am always concerned by he that shouts loudest.

My concern here which I thought was pretty obvious in the statement above, is that what you profess shows marked similiarities to the scenario I have described. This is based upon the thinly veiled and barely suppressed aggression you have expressed to every forum user so far that has disagreed with your viewpoint -you remind me of that 'gentleman' and similar folk I have met over the years; too eager to tell people how they are wrong but failing to listen to their alternate viewpoints.

What is is of note is that both scenarios I've presented here concern an apparently 'harmless' mild-altering substance, that has been proven to be otherwise and as a result has destroyed some lives along the way and been illegal in some places at some times. That is the baseline similarity of comparison, nothing else.

I wouldn't council building a band or writing songs based upon sitting around smoking (unless your name is David Crosby), nor turning up to a venue stoned, that would be unprofessional. Yet I would council being less vehement in your viewpoint, this is irrepespective of geography or anything else for that matter.

Tolerance is the first point in changing others, aswell as learning from others.

Bridgehouse

Teyeplayer said:

The link is that I am always concerned by he that shouts loudest.

My concern here which I thought was pretty obvious in the statement above, is that what you profess shows marked similiarities to the scenario I have described. This is based upon the thinly veiled and barely suppressed aggression you have expressed to every forum user so far that has disagreed with your viewpoint -you remind me of that 'gentleman' and similar folk I have met over the years; too eager to tell people how they are wrong but failing to listen to their alternate viewpoints.

What is is of note is that both scenarios I've presented here concern an apparently 'harmless' mild-altering substance, that has been proven to be otherwise and as a result has destroyed some lives along the way and been illegal in some places at some times. That is the baseline similarity of comparison, nothing else.

I wouldn't council building a band or writing songs based upon sitting around smoking (unless your name is David Crosby), nor turning up to a venue stoned, that would be unprofessional. Yet I would council being less vehement in your viewpoint, this is irrepespective of geography or anything else for that matter.

Tolerance is the first point in changing others, aswell as learning from others.

Did I misread this? Are you saying he's like a guy that used to beat up his girlfriend? Er...

Teyeplayer

Fair point @Bridgehouse and it is an extreme example, I was merely suggesting possibly clumsily that from my experience I am worried by people that are so polarised and won't consider the middle ground.

digitalscream

Teyeplayer said:

The link is that I am always concerned by he that shouts loudest. 

Your logic - apart from being both extreme and fairly thin - falls apart when you consider that "he that shouts loudest" pretty much describes this entire forum.

Bridgehouse

Teyeplayer said:

Fair point @Bridgehouse and it is an extreme example, I was merely suggesting possibly clumsily that from my experience I am worried by people that are so polarised and won't consider the middle ground.

I think you chose a bad example there, chap...

Bridgehouse

And I don't think @professorben is being polarised - he's worried because of an experience that left him in hospital when he was younger. 

Right or wrong, I'm not surprised it's affected his way of thinking. 

I think you might have the wrong end of the stick @Teyeplayer!

professorben

Teyeplayer said:

The link is that I am always concerned by he that shouts loudest.

My concern here which I thought was pretty obvious in the statement above, is that what you profess shows marked similiarities to the scenario I have described. This is based upon the thinly veiled and barely suppressed aggression you have expressed to every forum user so far that has disagreed with your viewpoint -you remind me of that 'gentleman' and similar folk I have met over the years; too eager to tell people how they are wrong but failing to listen to their alternate viewpoints.

What is is of note is that both scenarios I've presented here concern an apparently 'harmless' mild-altering substance, that has been proven to be otherwise and as a result has destroyed some lives along the way and been illegal in some places at some times. That is the baseline similarity of comparison, nothing else.

I wouldn't council building a band or writing songs based upon sitting around smoking (unless your name is David Crosby), nor turning up to a venue stoned, that would be unprofessional. Yet I would council being less vehement in your viewpoint, this is irrepespective of geography or anything else for that matter.

Tolerance is the first point in changing others, aswell as learning from others.

Interesting, I really didn't mean to come across as aggressive and intolerant, or at least I don't think I did? 

Tolerance of an illegal activity is wise?

Alcohol is possibly more destructive than Weed, perhaps obviously so, my issue is not the drug itself, nor the people using it, it's the association of criminality that goes hand in hand with the use of the drug.

I still dont understand your point about your sisters ex, he didn't like people that drank, he was violent towards women, he then later started drinking and became a worse person, I don't get how this applies to me?

simonk

professorben

For every, Jesse there is a Tuco. 

Breaking Bad reference noted, very nice.

simonk

@Teetonetal said:

I would walk. But more because of the lack of rehearsals. The weed smoking would annoy me after a while though. I wouldn't want to go home to my kids stinking of weed on a regular basis and staying inside is bound to lead to a 3 vs 1 clique on any major decision. 

I agree with this. They don't sound like like minded individuals really.

Teyeplayer

Happy to acknowledge I may have the wrong end of the stick @Bridgehouse and certainly @digitalscream you are right forums are about us all shouting our viewpoint.

@professorben no offence meant dude, simply was trying (albeit unclearly) to suggest that the way you had asked for an opinion and then responded when that opinion was proffered reminded me of said fella who dated my sister and was as anti alcohol as you are cannabis. I was trying to show that the black and white view of the situation you suggested had worrying parallels, I struggle with such mindsets. Though I should add I am not a smoker, I just see more grey in everything (that is just me). So peace man.


This of course is not to disagree with the psychology of why you have made this link, but if you read my early post you would have noted that I had an almost identical experience. However, I don't pick my friends on if they partake or not based upon that experience. l pick them on how good the music we make together is. Which comes full circle, stick with the band or not? Just because they seem nice guys doesn't mean it's the band that makes you go 'wow I want to be here, this is amazing'. You need to be in a situation creatively that makes you pinch yourself, those are the moments worth living for, particularly if you don't get to get out and play that often. Sounds to me like this band is ok but lacks a decent work ethic, so personally I'd move on.

Good luck finding a new band and sorry if I in anyway offended.

Kebabkid

One thing that hasn't been mentioned, and seeing how you feel about drugs, which is fine,  what happens if you do get out gigging or are all out somewhere in public, maybe car-sharing etc and the police stop you and the majority of the band are in possession? Reading stuff, it seems it's more an on the spot fine and/or a caution but that's probably not something you'd want to be a part of.

Gassage

professorben said:

Gassage said:

@professorben I do think you've a remarkably polarised view on the drug issue per se.

I do, however, totally get the band issues (two seperate things in my mind) and I also agree that it's unprofessional and it's clearly not comfortable for you, so I'd suggest you neck it off.

I smoke pretty much every eve but I'd never smoke during rehersals or gigs (as noted above, I lose all sense of pitch when I smoke- can't tune a guitar as an example).

I could say the same back to you, as a user I'd say you are struggling to associate the recreational activity with the criminal and damaging aspect of drug use. 

Do you grow your own
and then harvest it ?

Does that supply enough to keep you in hash given you smoke pretty much every night?

Buy it from someone?
Who? 
What do they do with the money?
Where do they get it from? Presumably in much greater quantities?

Who supplies the supplier??

For every, Jesse there is a Tuco. 

Damaging aspect of weed use? How many stoners do you see arrested for fighting on a Friday night?

Yet alcohol is legal?

Any criminalisation is created by the people who have crimainalised it because they can't yet tax it.

Aligning weed with Crystal Meth really underlines a very poor understanding of the dynamics.

professorben

Gassage said:

professorben said:

Gassage said:

@professorben I do think you've a remarkably polarised view on the drug issue per se.

I do, however, totally get the band issues (two seperate things in my mind) and I also agree that it's unprofessional and it's clearly not comfortable for you, so I'd suggest you neck it off.

I smoke pretty much every eve but I'd never smoke during rehersals or gigs (as noted above, I lose all sense of pitch when I smoke- can't tune a guitar as an example).

I could say the same back to you, as a user I'd say you are struggling to associate the recreational activity with the criminal and damaging aspect of drug use. 

Do you grow your own
and then harvest it ?

Does that supply enough to keep you in hash given you smoke pretty much every night?

Buy it from someone?
Who? 
What do they do with the money?
Where do they get it from? Presumably in much greater quantities?

Who supplies the supplier??

For every, Jesse there is a Tuco. 

Damaging aspect of weed use? How many stoners do you see arrested for fighting on a Friday night?

Yet alcohol is legal?

Any criminalisation is created by the people who have crimainalised it because they can't yet tax it.

Aligning weed with Crystal Meth really underlines a very poor understanding of the dynamics.

The dynamics are identical, the effects of the substance are different. 

As far as I see it, number of fights I've been involved in due to Alcohol = 0 vs fights due to Weed = 1 

my point is not about the effects of the drug on the human body, it's about the associated criminal element that goes hand in hand with obtaining a controlled substance. 

Teyeplayer

Off focus from the strength of our conflicting viewpoints about legislation @professorben I've a few questions that hopefully will get you thinking around the wider scenario beyond their smoking:

Do you like the guys?

Are they (weed aside) your type of people? By this I mean similar in outlook, experience and lifestyle.

Could you envisage yourself building the kind of bond with them that would lead you to calling them up for support when the chips are down? 

You said earlier in the thread that you 'wanted to be friends with them' so why was this, what stood out about them and made you want them as friends?

You don't need to answer these here, but once you have answered those for yourself we are back to work ethic and how good the music is that you are making together. You may find they are doomed to just be mates rather than creative partners.

professorben

Teyeplayer said:

Off focus from the strength of our conflicting viewpoints about legislation @professorben I've a few questions that hopefully will get you thinking around the wider scenario beyond their smoking:

Do you like the guys?

Are they (weed aside) your type of people? By this I mean similar in outlook, experience and lifestyle.

Could you envisage yourself building the kind of bond with them that would lead you to calling them up for support when the chips are down? 

You said earlier in the thread that you 'wanted to be friends with them' so why was this, what stood out about them and made you want them as friends?

You don't need to answer these here, but once you have answered those for yourself we are back to work ethic and how good the music is that you are making together. You may find they are doomed to just be mates rather than creative partners.

Yes this exactly, we have good banter on our whatsapp group, we are similar ages, lifestyles (work family etc)
in short I do like them, and enjoy the sessions we have had, obvious drug issue aside, this is why I'm polling for opinion rather than just walking away full stop. 

As as it stands the choice I'm facing is whether to continue in the band or leave, unfortunately I've resigned myself to the fact that I'll not be mates with them because of this issue.