...or 'Orange Hell' as I've preferred to call it down the years.
Anyway, I had a good whinge about them the other day so in the name of balance, thought I'd report on a little trip I hadn't there today. I never thought I'd be doing this.
Had to get some paint mixed. The guy had my name on the computer, mixed me up exactly what I wanted, was meticulous about his work, and gracious and chatty with it. They even have little stools like a bar that you can sit at.
Went to to get some sanding pads - staff member spotted straight away I'd absentmindedly picked up the wrong ones and, unbidden, pulled down the proper kit for me with a smile.
Woman at the till was friendly, smile and a greeting. All this sounds ridiculous - it's customer service 101 - but given the appalling, depressing state of it before, it's a revalation. Fair play to them.
I still came out with a handful of stuff, £85 lighter with a bemused look on my face, but they gotta start somewhere I suppose.
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I'm still reeling to be honest, maybe @TTony is right and it was all a vivid dream. I'll have to check my bank statement on Monday.
@boogieman you know Screwfix is owned by B&Q? I didn't until me dad pointed it out a year or so ago. It's a clever marketing position they've given Screwfix, making it feel more like trade when in reality, like you've found out, there's very little difference in pricing.
hell in a handcart etc etc.
No, I don't really like Screwfix, I prefer honest builders merchants like Elliots but Screwfix and Toolstation are cheaper on the Chinese crap.
The only time I go into B&Q is to cart 375kg of cement out on a flat trolley that looks like it's going to break to the Tradepoint desk again looking and smelling and covered in shit, but I only do that because my planning is so poor and I like to take a bigger cut on materials if I'm in the area because Tradepoint do cheap cement.
As for actual shopping, little bits and pieces, I'd never consider B&Q etc unless they had a catalogue and I knew exactly where it is as it's a massive waste of time as their bits and pieces and materials are all crap too and to be honest, all these places, including Screwfix and Toolstation don't stock the specialist stuff you need, so it's easier to just order it online and get it in the post or go down your local timber yard or builders merchant. I go to the local imported stone merchants for tiles and paving.
I also go to Brewers which is a trade decorators place for paint or polish and stuff for the flat. I did go to B&Q once for paint though, after thoroughly researching it online and put it through Tradepoint, although I see In-Excess is doing cheap Crown paint now as well, although honestly, I find that place is another curfuffle jumble full of confused, mumbling people, milling around and bumping into each other whilst looking for a beacon of spiritual guidance or a reason to live.
If I want tat, I get it out of a skip or make it or get given t from someone's garage or house clearance, I would never buy it.
Even the sanitary porcelain in the toilet came out of a skip and I ordered the fittings that came off the back of a lorry from ebay for a tenner.
If you don't know what you want or can't grasp how fittings and things fit together then no one else can help you and all the muzak and visual information and staff will do to help is confuse you further and lead you further away from your spiritual self.
You see, I don't expect to go into a high end guitar shop and start cursing at the staff or blaming the instruments for the fact that my Bluegrass cross picking sucks.
Well then. Sheeple.
Thing is B&Q has a hot dog stand in the car park as well, it's tempting but frankly the only way they'd get me in there regularly is if they had a Hooter bar and grill in Isle 15 and even if, it's still cheaper at Lidl's and knocking one out online, no I'm sorry I am a tight fisted sociopathic independent hermit who cannot be converted. B&Q aren't even in the same league as me.
No.
I like old ironmongers shops though, I used to work in one as a Saturday boy in my teens, a proper old place where the staff wore brown shopcoats and the stock was all in cupboards and drawers behind a counter, bit like the Two Ronnies four candles sketch. The whole place smelt of linseed oil and paraffin.
& the advice! people used to come into the diy shop (will keep name out of it) where i did a summer & ask for advice about how to install a new cooker. & guys from my college who were doing art or music courses (eg basically clueless) would send them home with doorbell wire.
funny at the time but, thinking about it now, probably not that funny if they took that advice at face value & burned their house down. you got off lightly!
I hate the places, the people working there hate the places. If I was a shareholder I'd probably like the places but I'm not so I don't. Work out exactly what it is you need, steel yourself - military precision. In and out.
It it was a Friday a.m. I was in there, I think this is probably the key to the whole matter.
Argos have a similar system, until you realise that every product you've so slickly purchased has been bought, used and returned by at least two people.
I've never tried it with Screwfix - I've had a couple of things delivered to the house, including a bloody heavy air compressor, which they did very efficiently.
I had a right ordeal once in my local Screwfix. I went in my decorating gear, and another customer mistook me for a professional and started asking me complicated questions about 15mm-to-microbore compression fittings. Safe to say I've never felt more inadequate.