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As for "when am I ready?" You'll never be ready. It works in reverse, you become ready by doing it. - pmbomb
She stayed over one night when she was supposed to be on a conference trip and must have phoned hubby to say all was well at some point before bedtime...........only she didn't disconnect properly and unwittingly left her handset on the bedside table " live".............sure enough her husband was in no doubt about what she was into 2 hours later !!!!!!!
I'm glad I wasn't her when she got home ;Apparently he heard everything .
They divorced.
but to wake you from a lovely sleep to tell you that she doesn't want it? that's just harsh.
The houses were very close together (their living room was overlooked by our kitchen) and you could see him not only playing porn on his large TV but also on the laptop perched precariously on the sofa arm.
Apparently one form of videographic debauchery was just not enough for this individual.
I changed our wifi network name to 'stop wanking with the blinds open' for a bit and then blinds were eventually duly shut.
The things was that if you were doing the washing up and he chose that time to have a private moment then he'd have to close the blinds right in front of you.
It was extremely awkward.
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So the adults have all HAD sex in the past, it's just a fond memory now though .
The first holiday my wife and I went on together, we stayed next door to a couple who were pretty vocal three times a day. Every day.
They seemed to to have set times for it, so at least we could try and make sure we were out.
If we did happen to be in, I’d give them a little round of applause once they were done.
It didn't particularly bother me but then I knew it was only for a week. If it was all the time then it would probably piss me off a bit.
I can't help about the shape I'm in, I can't sing I ain't pretty and my legs are thin
But don't ask me what I think of you, I might not give the answer that you want me to
Offputting.
Someone else I know was an estate agent who was once showing a property to a young couple - when he opened the door and entered the (small-ish) house, where the front door pretty much opened into the lounge, he was greeted by the unexpected sight of the male owner lying on the lounge floor with the TV playing smut whilst he was at it on his own.
Estate agent did abrupt U-turn and told young couple they couldn't view it there and then & would need to 'wait a bit' or rearrange. Awkward.
The thing to do with her is record the sound from a porn movie, put an hour of silence in front of the recording then leave it playing in the cupboard when you go to bed every night.
But we do hear the kids screaming and running around in the current gaff and I’m sure they hear ours.
I’d like to think most people would be aware of ‘noise issues’ and engage according to the surroundings. People who say they can’t do these things quietly probably want to be heard and it’s all part of the performance.
I'm still surprised by how often my wife says she can hear my practice amp from the garden when I'm indoors thinking it's on really quiet. Sound travels further than I often realise.
Haven't heard any rumpy pumpy noises, they must hear ours on my birthday, well they will be able to feel the foundations vibrate and hear the loud singing in italian followed by my crying...
Remember, it's easier to criticise than create!