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I used to have the same commute 1.5 - 2 hours for a 32 (or 50 mile round trip depending if I used motorways). I hated it for the 10 plus years that I did it...
I now work less than 2 miles from the office but still drive or get driven in most days due to logistics of getting kids to school and then to their after school classes.
But I miss the longer drive some days -
it was my time to unwind - listen to a whole album or make some phone calls (handsfree of course).
45 mins ish each way isn’t that much time - maybe just use it more positively?
OK, you'll still get some dodgy places advertised there that won't tick your boxes, but with a bit of patience and sometimes widening my search area, I've always found something suitable - and always better than a 12x12 room.
HTH.
My YouTube Channel
Seriously: If you value it, take/fetch it yourself
I think that if you stop over too much, it will damage your relationship with your step-daughters
It's a fine balance, you can do this for a short time, but not long-term. I did it for 10 months, that needed healing with my young kids later.
My recommendation is 1 or 2 non-consecutive nights away max, but 1 hour each way is the new normal to be honest.
My YouTube Channel
Post divorce, I've moved back into Central London - started off with a 30 minute commute now it's 15 minutes.
The difference is staggering not only in time, but in lack of pressure - you don't realise how sub-consciously you're looking at a clock, thinking if I don't leave now etc. whereas now - someone talks to me, I don't care I just get the next tube.
So yes, work as close as you can to home
But I would never have worked away, you're working to provide a home, have your possessions etc why separate yourself from them? I think it must be completely lonely to sit in a room, with your laptop etc plus the stress on the Sunday - have you got everything for the week? Have you got your laundry done etc
I've worked with a few people who live in Ireland and come over for the week, every week - I think they're mad frankly.
I would push for flexible working - put your commute outside the peak times, WFH when you can etc. most firms are a lot more flexible than they used to be if you put a solid case together
I cannot conceive of a situation where I would be sitting in traffic on my way to work for more than 15 minutes. What a waste of life.
I’m doing a similar commute but i have to go further into Leith, on a really bad day in a car it’ll be an hour and a half, on a good day 50 minutes. On my bike, it’s usually 45 minutes more or less regardless of traffic.
Id rather do that than *shudder* live in Leith
Your other option would be to get an electric folding bicycle and take the train with a short e-bike at either end?
Seriously: If you value it, take/fetch it yourself
My YouTube Channel
It used to spoil all of Sunday