It looks like you're new here. If you want to get involved, click one of these buttons!
Subscribe to our Patreon, and get image uploads with no ads on the site!
Base theme by DesignModo & ported to Powered by Vanilla by Chris Ireland, modified by the "theFB" team.
Comments
Which is how I'm trying to tackle fatherhood.
I've had my years of pleasure. And at the time I didn't think it was meaningless, but it truly was.
Baby TV to the rescue when you need 5 mins to have a piss/make some food! I'm not even sorry.
If I found myself in the same situation then I'd try to have done as good a job as I could, but that didn't happen- although I certainly left relationships because I realised that it was inevitable.
I also had an overwhelming sense that it wasn't for me and this notion of having 'other things to do'.
I have all the sympathy in the world for men struggling with being fathers and I don't think it is easy.
I'm sure there are rewards but I didn't pay the price to receive them.
From time to time I have a momentary twinge of 'what if' and then get back to my life, which isn't too bad.
I'm 46 years old, and at an age where most of my friends are either right in the middle of raising children or about to pack them off to uni.
Some are now grandfathers.
That can be a bit weird when you never had kids.
Sometimes, as the childless friend, you are equal parts counsellor or refuge (usually involving alcohol- I must get my liver checked) and although some friends have expressed the notion that they wished they had never had kids I know they still love their kids and have ultimately done the best they could do.
Studio: https://www.voltperoctave.com
Music: https://www.euclideancircuits.com
Me: https://www.jamesrichmond.com
@octatonic - your post stuck a very loud resonant chord with me.
I respect Drew's position but it implies that anyone who doesn't do X is living a meaningless life.
I don't buy into that (and I'm not sure that is what Drew is saying either, it is just how I interpret that statement).
It could be that my life is meaningless, but I don't feel like my life lacks meaning.
I mostly love what I do and how I live.
I do have some responsibilities outside myself- staff need to be paid and given a safe working environment, my mum needs to help from time to time but otherwise I guess I don't have many traditional *responsibilities* beyond paying bills and taxes.
I do things, as a rule, because I feel like I am building upon the things I've done previously- the worth in doing them is largely self-evident.
Studio: https://www.voltperoctave.com
Music: https://www.euclideancircuits.com
Me: https://www.jamesrichmond.com
Hi Drew, good to see you back and sounding very mellow and cool.
Parenthood - so many opinions on what it should be, shouldn't be. This in turn creates a pressure making you think you should have certain feelings about it, or should be doing stuff in a certain way and blathering on about how wonderful it all is.
Reality is, you find your own path and hope it turns out OK. So may people get so stressed out about whether or not they are feeling/being the way it's expected.
For the record mate, I've always thought you were a good lad, and I'm going right back to the Amberience days here.
Peace out brother.....(that's me trying to be all cool and hip like cos I don't know how to sign this post off)
"There are three golden rules when raising a child; sadly, no-one knows what any of them are."
Keeping healthy, being happily married (or in a long term partnership), keeping up with friends and having enough money (not necessarily being rich) are much more important 'predictors' of happiness in the long run.
If you really want to be happy, move to Scotland
https://www.ons.gov.uk/visualisations/nesscontent/dvc238/index.html
Parenthood is bloody hard and extremely rewarding in equal measures. But at least your genes get to stay on the planet after you've gone, so there's that.
I'm as mad as a cut snake on occasion, tuck a guitar under me arm, and I can somehow work it out. Solitude is my friend in those times.
You're a fine musician Drew. Keep punching.
Even though i dislike Jordan Peterson's politics intensely i dont disagree with this.
When we farm our kids out to the grandparents or whatever we end up missing them anyway! Having kids is like being a reformed smackhead. You were desperate to get some free time/kick the habit but when they are gone you miss them terribly and realise that they are the centre of your life!