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Friday humour
Base theme by DesignModo & ported to Powered by Vanilla by Chris Ireland, modified by the "theFB" team.
Comments
The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked, 'Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?'
She again replied, 'Why yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster, too. He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. He can't build a normal relationship with anyone, and his law practice is one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three different women. One of them was your wife. Yes, I know him.'
The defense attorney nearly died.
The judge asked both counselors to approach the bench and, in a very quiet voice, said,
'If either of you idiots asks her if she knows me, I'll send you both to the electric chair.
*An Official Foo-Approved guitarist since Sept 2023.
At a club in Wigan one of the acts was stood behind the curtains tuning up his guitar. The concert secretary comes up to him and demands to know what he’s doing.
” Tuning my guitar.”
“ You knew about this show six months ago!”
Dear Gillette,
Is your product really 'the best a man can get', or do you just say that because it rhymes?
Please let me know.
Kind regards,
Rick, 'the man with the biggest dick'.
“Are you here luv?” he whispers to his wife.
“Yes, I’m here”
”What about our kids? Are they here too?”
”Yes dad, we’re here”
”And the grandkids? Are you here?”
”Yes grandad, we’re here as well”
”Then why the fook is t’kitchen light still on?”
Chips are "Plant-based" no matter how you cook them
Donald Trump needs kicking out of a helicopter
A guide to rugby positions:
https://pbs.twimg.com/media/EFIW8uLUUAIoDma?format=jpg&name=small
The following week exactly the same time, the man walks in, orders three beers, and drinks them alone.
This goes on week after week, month after month, until eventually the landlord asks him about it.
’Well’ says the man ‘I’m the youngest of three brothers - my eldest brother moved to Australia, and the middle brother moved to the United States, but we promised each other we’d drink together every week. So we each buy three pints every week and drink together.’
This goes on for several more months, until one week the man only orders two pints.
The landlord says to him ‘I know your two brothers were both older than you so I’m guessing one of them must have died - is that why you’ve only ordered two pints?’
’Oh no’ replies the man ‘I’ve just given up drinking.’