Business language.

professorben

This post is very much about managing expectations........ moving forward that is. 

mike_l

Now, when I used to go on courses at head office (VW, Peugeot etc) we (ok I instigated) a game called "Bullshit Bingo".
THis thread is a prime candidate for playing Bullshit Bingo...

RandallFlagg

Happy Friday

monquixote

scrumhalf said:

When I was talking about some potential work for a client he used the phrases "win-win" and "low-hanging fruit". Each of them added £25 to the daily rate I proposed, and he accepted.

If you want to talk bollocks to me, it will cost you.

It's a shame the phrase "win-win" has been co-opted by wanky middle management types who don't really know what it means because the actual concept behind it (from Stephen Covey) really changed my perspective on how you should deal with people.

Iamnobody

You can't beat a bit of bull shit bingo.

The best one I heard recently was a graduate saying he didn't want to dive straight into a shallow pool. Instead he wanted to take a step back and assess the depth or some other bollocks that I switched off from.

HAL9000

I can't believe we're two pages in and no-one's given 110%

TheBlueWolf

So the bottom line, viz a viz, our synergistic "out of the box", proactive, retrograded, direction, assuming we diversify our multi skilled, 110% dynamics is that our results driven, customer focused mindset is the wrong ball park and we should revisit our hardball, result driven, win win gap analysis?

Because my bandwidth is borked, innit fam.

guitargeek62

Any time I get this crap from my peers I revert to one phrase: JFDI.

Longtallronnie

If we're not going to actualise a mind map for this going forward, you need a kick in the cunt. 

victorludorum

Is it me, or are we not singing from the same song sheet here?

Rocker

This is exactly what is required to get to the next level: blue sky thinking. If the group think is run by a few execs, then a cost benefit analysis be carried out. Ping everyone for ideas.....

historyisjunk

Heads up guys we so need to get across this timeoously or it’ll be an uber-clusterfuck. When the shit hits the fan we’ll literally have no visibility of the elephant in the room.
 Our USP is a safe space to hang and dialogue issues around guitars with an entry level sandbox for unpacking a raft of personal and political narratives. Going forward we can monetise our position in the business landscape, dial back the soft skills and leverage a hostile take over of Mumsnet. See you at the dog toilet.

Legionreturns

blobb said:

There's no 'I' in TWAT.

No, but there is a "U" in c***

holnrew

I hate so much about this thread

Alnico

At the end of the day, so do I

Budgie

I thought arty bollocks was bad but this is in a different league!

kaypeejay

We need to embrace the zeitgeist while shooting the crocodiles closest to the canoe. 

blobb

Legionreturns said:

blobb said:

There's no 'I' in TWAT.

No, but there is a "U" in c***

Oy! I might have to outsource you to my expert client.

Sporky

I hear an awful lot of it; for some reason the one that annoys me most is "myself" instead of "me" and "yourself" instead of "you", which seems to be becoming very popular at work.

Most of the rest of these are just fashion, but those are downright bad grammar and make the person saying it sound like a right thicko, whereas they seem to think it's a longer word so will make them sound smarter.

monquixote

Sporky said:

I hear an awful lot of it; for some reason the one that annoys me most is "myself" instead of "me" and "yourself" instead of "you", which seems to be becoming very popular at work.

Most of the rest of these are just fashion, but those are downright bad grammar and make the person saying it sound like a right thicko, whereas they seem to think it's a longer word so will make them sound smarter.

I normally don't worry about this sort of thing but "please revert to myself" in place of "please reply" makes me cringe.