What has gone wrong here on tFB?

Rocker

Lately a lot of replies and contributions here have become very nasty and personal. I have been dished out a large number of these replies but so also have other members. It seems that holding a view which is different to that of the group in general, can result in spiteful remarks and comments. Rather than discussing and probing these different viewpoints, put downs of one type or another are the norm. We come from a wide variety of backgrounds so it is inevitable that our opinions and ideas will be different.

On BassChat, there are very few barbs thrown at fellow members even when opinions expressed are extreme opposites. There is civil debate which can get heated but remains respectful.

We in tFB are a community. Let's try and moderate our comments and keep comments to the subject under discussion. And refrain from personal barbs. At least give it a fair trial...

Flink_Poyd

Comes and goes in cycles 

monquixote

Moved to ot as it's a moan thread rather than a request for help

bingefeller

I think the putdowns are a form of self-aware laddish banter.  I didn't think it had been too bad lately to be honest.  

m_c

I can't say I've noticed anything that bad. Got the usual suspects with their usual provocative posts, but other than that, just the usual joking (although some 'in' jokes may come across as a bit dubious). I've certainly not noticed anything truly nasty.

ourmaninthenorth

Bollocks.

camf

Middle-aged white men aren't really traditionally regarded a good benchmark for sensitivity, open-mindedness or generosity of spirit. Could this be a factor? 

Rocker

Risking being banned or put in the cooler, I have moved this back to its rightful category. This subject ought not be swept under the carpet...

skunkwerx

Not that I've experienced what I'm about to write, here on thefretboard, but I felt like saying it anyway! 

I find a lot of people use 'everyones entitled to an opinion' as some form of defence these days for being a dick to someone. 

While everyone's entitled to an opinion, which is true and fair, an opinion should be polite and left there on both sides if theres disagreement. 

Instead people act spitefully while putting it across. Using their 'opinion' as a defence for being a dickhead. 

Which reminds me of just how to be a decent human being. 

If you aint got nothing nice to say, then don't say it. Simple. 

So thats how adults share opinions yet also remain, well nice. 

So If someones being an unfair dick to you, or to someone else, then report to mods, don't bother spittin back. Put it to bed there and then. 


There is banter, and thats all great if it is just banter! Sometimes banter comes across wrong, or if you're like me, I'll make a joke that is apparantly too far, even though I had no ill intentions and genuinely didnt think it was hurtful! Not that I have on here (I hope!).  

I can't say I've experienced any negative stuff here, but I have on other forums. 

It is easy for people to forget that what they write online is read by other humans with feelings, who may take it to heart. 

But while I'm here, I gotta say most people here have been exceptionally cool and helpful. 

So thanks go out to all of you that have taken the time to write or help out when I've posted. It is much appreciated! 

The mods/overlords/admins I've found also havent been nazi's/power tripping either, which I've experienced a lot of on different forums. Which is refreshing! 

But also, good on you OP for posting!
Sometimes its hard to feel like you can speak up. 
Hope you stick around n that though, cos everyone here is what makes a great community, even better! 

Legionreturns

You've not met the internet have you?

In all seriousness, people speak to reach other on line in a way that wouldn't dream of doing face to face. Just take everything with a pinch of salt and if in doubt tell them to grow up. 

Unless you're talking about me...in which case, do one you left/right* wing libtard/Neanderthal* moron... You had it coming!



*delete as required

monquixote

Put it back again and you are coolered

All the mods get notified when you post on help and feedback so don't clag it up with whinge threads.

TTony

Rocker said:

Risking being banned or put in the cooler, I have moved this back to its rightful category. This subject ought not be swept under the carpet...

And I've just moved it back to OT, so that I don't get pinged every time that there's another post on the thread (which I do for threads in certain categories) because that would be annoying.

Given the relative traffic levels, OT is hardly "under the carpet".

Leave it in OT.

TTony

And wis'd @skunkwerx for getting it all pretty much spot on.

fields5069

If somebody does issue a hurtful putdown, you have to remember that it's they who have the problem. In my opinion it shows a certain unhappiness, or perhaps a stress-filled life. I tend to ignore it if it comes my way, although I find it all too easy to keep the "conversation" going sometimes, while being mindful not to engage on the same level.

scrumhalf

Flink_Poyd said:

Comes and goes in cycles 

Don't start about bloody cyclists!

beed84

All depends on how you perceive what's been said. Not only that, we sometimes have to do a lot more guesswork with conversations online as there's no face-to-face interaction. What might come across as offensive could simply be banter or an innocent challenge. And if you're not sure what was meant by someone's comment, then the best thing to do is laugh. That's what I do.

darthed1981

For the internet, I've found this forum unusually friendly.  You can often agree to disagree after a to and fro rather than it getting personal or getting nasty, not always but often.

Sometimes people pile in on someone with an unpopular opinion, but I've known that in the real world as well.  If you come into a thread titled "I love Chappers" full of praise for him, and call him names, you are likely to upset those already reading the thread, and probably have to defend your post.  As long as it stays on-topic and doesn't get personal, that's probably pretty fair.

As was commented excellently up-thread, middle-aged white men are the dominant demographic on this board and are not known globally for sensitivity or open-mindedness.

One thing which would improve the guitar community in general is more diversity.  Female guitarists are incredibly valuable to the community, so are young guitarists, gay guitarists, minority guitarists.  If we had one of those for every middle-aged white straight male then there would be no more pretentious articles about guitar being dead, as it would be shown to be a diverse unifying thing.

Which it should be, there is something special about picking up a guitar and noodling, playing a favourite song, or setting yourself a challenge.  If you have appreciated that enough to join an online community, then whatever your taste colour or creed, you have a pending friend right here

boogieman

I think this place is pretty amiable most of the time. There's certainly forums that are a lot more snarky than here. There are a few "characters" that like to throw things into the pot, I presume to get a reaction, I think they're just playing an online version of ring the doorbell and run away. I just try and take it with a pinch of salt. 

I love this place and I've had plenty of good advice, help and some really good turns from members here. I think if it got moderated too much, either by the mod team or people trying to be too polite, it'd lose a lot of its character. Tbh, @Rocker some of your posts do come across as a bit "old geezer"ish. It's not really surprising you get some stick sometimes.

prowla

A while back I had someone "fix" something I wrote, by quoting my post but editing my words to something else.

I objected to the mods and they said it was acceptable.

I tend not to post in the off-topic area now; I'm here for the guitar/bass chat.

Legionreturns

prowla said:

A while back I had someone "fix" something I wrote, by quoting my post but editing my words to something else.

I objected to the mods but they were busy dealing with sir twatalot

I tend not to post in the off-topic area now; I'm here for the guitar/bass chat.

FTFY

/irony

camf

FFS Can we just stop talking about Drew_TNBD for a change?