First forum flounce. I AM RETURNETH

dafuzz

Best wishes dude

mike_l

All the best Holn.

Emp_Fab

Can I suggest you don't hang around too long 'waiting for the right job' to come along.  I did that, and ended up spending years on the dole.  Take any job in the short term.  It is infinitely easier to find a better job when you are already in employment than it is to find the ideal job when you're unemployed.  Employers will look far more favourably on you if you've shown that you aren't the type to sit around on his arse waiting for something to fall into his lap.

bertie

Holn

Fuck Off

only joking    

best of luck,  you'll be bouncing back soon

Grunfeld

Holn, this might be a good time to go self-employed. 

You get the chance to be totally honest with your "boss", and you get independence.

And while it's not an easy option, you get the chance to make it work, and you know your success is down to your own efforts; ditto your failures. 

Just a thought.

:-)

[Deleted User]

holnrew;18562" said:

But yeah, that's all I have to say really. Sorry to @juansolo and to everyone else for fleeing like a teenager

I think your post is incredibly brave and honest. In the circumstances, you were probably not 'over-sensitive' - while issues around self-esteem may make you appear that way to others, you almost certainly felt 'wronged'.

Objectivity is often in short supply during periods of depression/unemployment/illness. Sometimes one extra criticism/rejection can feel devastating, whilst the same thing with another person would just make them think 'up yours'.

One function of forums like this, is that they give people who feel isolated for various reasons, the opportunity to reach out and feel a part of something. When someone comes back at you in a way which you (one?) considers disproportionate, it can be genuinely hurtful subjectively, irrespective of the person's intentions.

I divorced five years ago in the most awful of circumstances and my son lives predominantly with me. I work 50 hours a week in a highly stressful sales role. I have little time to myself and don't get out much. I have been somewhat depressed for years - hence I hope I have some understanding of your situation.

My very best wishes to you and the very best of luck....

holnrew

Emp_Fab said:

Can I suggest you don't hang around too long 'waiting for the right job' to come along.  I did that, and ended up spending years on the dole.  Take any job in the short term.  It is infinitely easier to find a better job when you are already in employment than it is to find the ideal job when you're unemployed.  Employers will look far more favourably on you if you've shown that you aren't the type to sit around on his arse waiting for something to fall into his lap.

I'm not, but I feel as though I can take something part time now, when it wasn't possible before. Also looking into volunteering and such. I'm also looking into changing my OU degree into a foundation degree so I can continue study at a proper bricks and mortar university (or steel and glass...), I'm not enjoying home study tbh, and at my residential module in July, other students were almost done and didn't seem impressed with the course as a whole.

I've not made any set decisions yet, don't worry. I know a job isn't going to fall into my lap, because I haven't got one when applying for many per week.

holnrew

Grunfeld said:

Holn, this might be a good time to go self-employed. 

You get the chance to be totally honest with your "boss", and you get independence.

And while it's not an easy option, you get the chance to make it work, and you know your success is down to your own efforts; ditto your failures. 

Just a thought.

:-)

I honestly would love this, and I find it easier to see me doing it and being happy than in traditional employment. The only trouble is I'm not sure what I'd do! The thing that is most obvious to me is mobile phone repair, buying and selling, but loads of people already do that. But I will definitely look into it more, especially now I don't have to provide a proper income.

holnrew

And thank you everybody else for your kind words, I've read every comment and appreciate it.

Lixarto

Chin up, old bean

frankus

Holn, I'm writing this imagining you've left and I'm talking to myself like the doctor in Airplane... so all the good luck and best wishes being expressed are comedically unheard and I seem pompous for writing this.. if you quote this - it will be ruined like a fine champagne in a plastic cup or a turd in a tesco's 1p bag... a great game if you've an understanding friend and about 10 minutes to kill.

but I digress, I wish you all the best in getting a job and I don't think of your exit as a flounce because you didn't publish your passwords and list a load of people you dislike and curse anyone commenting on your passing with the evil eye - which is the way to flounce that I was taught and tried several times - I mean god it's flouncing no seppukka..

Have you thought of checking out volunteer opportunities or if that's insulting, becoming a policeman - the pay isn't great but you get a rebate for your uniform and truncheon vouchers...(I made that one up just now) I nearly became a policeman once, when I was really drunk and one tried to tell me off.. I know his mates in the van liked me better, it didn't come to blows because I'm a better man... you still not there? good

god speed holn... all over

bertie

holnrew said:

And thank you everybody else for your kind words, I've read every comment and appreciate it.

you're welcome........hope it helped...............

 

seriously......................... take your time.......... dont go looking,   it will come to you in a flash, 2.49  one morning

viz

Good luck mate, don't go, you add richness and interest and laughs. V

TTony

@holnrew

Shows plenty of balls & maturity (IMHO) to come back and be so straight, open and honest with us all.

Hope you stay around, in sensible moderation if that's what it takes for you to be able to stay around.

holnrew

frankus said:

Holn, I'm writing this imagining you've left and I'm talking to myself like the doctor in Airplane... so all the good luck and best wishes being expressed are comedically unheard and I seem pompous for writing this.. if you quote this - it will be ruined like a fine champagne in a plastic cup or a turd in a tesco's 1p bag... a great game if you've an understanding friend and about 10 minutes to kill.

but I digress, I wish you all the best in getting a job and I don't think of your exit as a flounce because you didn't publish your passwords and list a load of people you dislike and curse anyone commenting on your passing with the evil eye - which is the way to flounce that I was taught and tried several times - I mean god it's flouncing no seppukka..

Have you thought of checking out volunteer opportunities or if that's insulting, becoming a policeman - the pay isn't great but you get a rebate for your uniform and truncheon vouchers...(I made that one up just now) I nearly became a policeman once, when I was really drunk and one tried to tell me off.. I know his mates in the van liked me better, it didn't come to blows because I'm a better man... you still not there? good

god speed holn... all over

pwnd

randomhandclaps

monquixote said:

It's not the swearing, it's the "swearing at".

I think it's good that this was clarified and a perfectly understandable point.  At the time it may have seem baffling that in a thread entitled "Shit that boils your piss." that @holnrew was picked up.

@holnrew - I completely understand the double-edged sword of declaring an illness.  My wife used to work at getting people back to work who had been on long term sick and a close friend still works for an organisation that specialises in helping people with mental illness finding work.  You do not have to declare anything and obviously they would always advice against it.  If you are ready to go back to work, nobody has the right to discriminate but obviously they do so sadly the best way around it is to lie - and feel no guilt about it.  When it comes to explaining why you couldn't work, either say you were studying some imaginary course to better yourself of that you were caring for someone else. 

And when it comes to finding work don't put the strain on yourself as it is possibly one of the worst times in modern history to find work.

thumpingrug

I spent 2 years unemployed in the mid 80's after leaving school with good A levels  (uni wasn't an option at the time as my mother had a terminal illness).  Anyway I did voluntary work, which included masses of training, for 18 months and was lucky to be in a position to them apply for a paid Job.  27 years later I'm still with the same organisation but, have had to move around a bit chasing often short term funding opportunities.  Lottery funding is great in theory but they rarely provide more than three years and insist on something radical and innovative even if the original project is doing good work. I started in the North East, moved to Sussex, them Cornwall and I have been in Poole now for 15 years.

Some of our volunteers are retired and stay with us for ever (bringing lots of life experience with them) some are younger and use the work experience and training as a springboard into paid work.  We are seeing more and more students volunteering during holidays as they know they need a bit extra to lift them above the rank and file.  MOst areas have a volunteer centre or Council for Voluntary service and these can steer you towards something you would like.

Voluntary work doesn't pay but you should get all your expenses paid, learn new skills, or pass on the ones you have and it really helps fill a CV.

As others have said, nows a pretty shit time to be looking for work, but its picking up and you need to prepare.

Good luck,

mike_l

As others have said, @Holnrew has shown a huge amount of bravery and guts in what he's said.

Props to Holn for that.

PolarityMan

Hold on, since when are we not allowed to swear at each other?

monquixote

randomhandclaps said:

monquixote said:

It's not the swearing, it's the "swearing at".

I think it's good that this was clarified and a perfectly understandable point.  At the time it may have seem baffling that in a thread entitled "Shit that boils your piss." that @holnrew was picked up.

I should also point out that no banhammers were waved (it's not how we do things around here). I was just highlighting the expectation of civility. It certainly wasn't my intention to scare Holn away.