Chirping noise every 32 seconds. FML

PhilW1

BEEP



 beep

JezWynd

RMJ said:

JezWynd said:

Have you looked in the loft for a smoke detector?

I liked my head up there and couldn't see one but my next move it to get up there and lift the insulation. I think there is something up there with a battery

Everyone hates a smartarse.

Congrats on on getting it sorted.

snakemanStoo

Beep

Iamnobody

I love a happy ending...

hywelg

Bugger,  I was enjoying this.....

RMJ

https://imgur.com/a/OGb8ZZc

ICBM

Why would someone put a new - since it’s doesnt look like it’s ever been installed - smoke detector under the loft insulation?

Unless on purpose to do this...

Snags

... Beep!

RMJ

ICBM said:

Why would someone put a new - since it’s doesnt look like it’s ever been installed - smoke detector under the loft insulation?

Unless on purpose to do this...

I have a few theories.....

They simply didn't see it, 

They saw it and couldn't be arsed to pick it up, or

They planted it there.

We complained a bit during the build so I wouldn't put it past them. However there would have been harder places to find it, such as in a cavity wall or a hard to reach area of the attic. It's therefore most likely that they simply couldn't be arsed to pick it up.

In our last new build house there was a screw sticking out of the wood running up the stairs. It was clearly visible and dangerous. Someone painted over it. Someone else laid a carpet under it. In other words, it was too much work to fix, so they left it. 

New build house builders, the big ones anyway, are twats 

scrumhalf

I don't know if you like Pink Floyd but if you do I'm guessing you won't be listening to the beginning of "Echoes" any time soon.

thecolourbox

I genuinely feel relieved about this. I'm pretty sure I'd have killed something or somebody if this was me

DiscoStu

My mate got sacked from his job years ago and had to give the work van back.
So he put fish in the air vents and sewed chicken fillets inside the seats. They found the fish but took them weeks to find where the other smell was coming from...

Jalapeno

RMJ said:

Went up I. The attic again and guess what I found under 2 laters of insulation? A Fucking smoke detector!!!!! 

YEEESSSSSSS!!!


YEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSS!!!!

Told yer pages ago

equalsql

hywelg said:

Bugger,  I was enjoying this.....

Yep, this was the thread that just kept giving 

equalsql

DiscoStu said:

My mate got sacked from his job years ago and had to give the work van back.
So he put fish in the air vents and sewed chicken fillets inside the seats. They found the fish but took them weeks to find where the other smell was coming from...

Rotting mackeral's the worst. Have spent many an unpleasant hour helping my father in-law digging up the boards on his fishing boat to get at mackeral that had somehow slipped between them.

Myranda

Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered weak and weary,

Over many a quaint and curious volume of tab-u-la-tor,

While I nodded, nearly napping, suddenly there came a beeping,

As of some one gently beeping, chirping at my chamber door.

`'Tis some visitor,' I muttered, `beeping at my chamber door -

Only this, and nothing more.'

 

Ah, distinctly I remember it was in the bleak December,

And each separate dying ember wrought its ghost upon the floor.

Eagerly I wished the morrow; - vainly I had sought to borrow

From my books surcease of sorrow - sorrow for the lost R8 -

For the rare and radiant maiden whom the angels name R8 -

Nameless here for evermore.

 

And the silken sad uncertain rustling of each purple curtain

Thrilled me - filled me with fantastic terrors never felt before;

So that now, to still the beating of my heart, I stood repeating

`'Tis some visitor entreating entrance at my chamber door -

Some late visitor entreating entrance at my chamber door; -

This it is, and nothing more,'

 

Presently my soul grew stronger; hesitating then no longer,

`Sir,' said I, `or Madam, truly your forgiveness I implore;

But the fact is I was napping, and so gently you came chirping,

And so faintly you came beeping, chirping at my chamber door,

That I scarce was sure I heard you' - here I opened wide the door; -

Darkness there, and nothing more.

 

Deep into that darkness peering, long I stood there wondering, fearing,

Doubting, dreaming dreams no mortal ever dared to dream before;

But the silence was unbroken, and the darkness gave no token,

And the only word there spoken was the whispered word, `R8!'

This I whispered, and an echo murmured back the word, `R8!'

Merely this and nothing more.

 

Back into the chamber turning, all my soul within me burning,

Soon again I heard a chirping somewhat louder than before.

`Surely,' said I, `surely that is something at my window lattice;

Let me see then, what thereat is, and this mystery explore -

Let my heart be still a moment and this mystery explore; -

'Tis the wind and nothing more!'

 

Open here I flung the shutter, when, with many a flirt and flutter,

In there stepped a stately Gibson of the saintly days of yore.

Not the least obeisance made he; not a minute stopped or stayed he;

But, with mien of lord or lady, perched above my chamber door -

Perched upon a bust of Pallas just above my chamber door -

Perched, and sat, and nothing more.

 

Then its ebony fretboard beguiling my sad fancy into smiling,

By the grave and stern decorum of the countenance it wore,

`Though thy bridge be chrome and shiny, thou,' I said, `art sure no Fender.

Ghastly grim and ancient Gibson wandering from the nightly shore -

Tell me what thy lordly name is on the Night's Plutonian shore!'

Quoth the Gibson, `Chirp-some-more.'

 

Much I marvelled this ungainly wood to hear discourse so plainly,

Though its answer little meaning - little relevancy bore;

For we cannot help agreeing that no living human being

Ever yet was blessed with seeing guitar above his chamber door -

Guitar or lute above the sculptured bust above his chamber door,

With such name as `Chirp-Some-More.'

 

But the Gibson, sitting lonely on the placid bust, spoke only,

That one word, as if his soul in that one word he did outpour.

Nothing further then he uttered - not a feather then he fluttered -

Till I scarcely more than muttered `Other friends have flown before -

On the morrow he will leave me, as my hopes have flown before.'

Then the guitar said, ` Chirp-Some-More.'

 

Startled at the stillness broken by reply so aptly spoken,

`Doubtless,' said I, `what it utters is its only stock and store,

Caught from some unhappy master whom unmerciful disaster

Followed fast and followed faster till his songs one burden bore -

Till the dirges of his hope that melancholy burden bore

Of "Chirp- Chirp-Some-More."'

 

But the Gibson still beguiling all my sad soul into smiling,

Straight I wheeled a cushioned seat in front of bird and bust and door;

Then, upon the velvet sinking, I betook myself to linking

Fancy unto fancy, thinking what this ominous lute of yore -

What this grim, ungainly, ghastly, gaunt, and ominous lute of yore

Meant in croaking ` Chirp-Some-More.'

 

This I sat engaged in guessing, but no syllable expressing

To the guitar whose pickups now burned into my bosom's core;

This and more I sat divining, with my head at ease reclining

On the cushion's velvet lining that the lamp-light gloated o'er,

But whose velvet violet lining with the lamp-light gloating o'er,

She shall press, ah, Chirp-Some-More!

 

Then, methought, the air grew denser, perfumed from an unseen censer

Swung by Seraphim whose foot-falls tinkled on the tufted floor.

`Wretch,' I cried, `thy God hath lent thee - by these angels he has sent thee

Respite - respite and nepenthe from thy memories of R8!

Quaff, oh quaff this kind nepenthe, and forget this lost R8!'

Quoth the Gibson, ` Chirp-Some-More.'

 

`Prophet!' said I, `thing of evil! - prophet still, if guitar or devil! -

Whether tempter sent, or whether tempest tossed thee here ashore,

Desolate yet all undaunted, on this desert land enchanted -

On this home by horror haunted - tell me truly, I implore -

Is there - is there balm in Gilead? - tell me - tell me, I implore!'

Quoth the Gibson, ` Chirp-Some-More.'

 

`Prophet!' said I, `thing of evil! - prophet still, if guitar or devil!

By that Heaven that bends above us - by that God we both rate -

Tell this soul with sorrow laden if, within the distant Aidenn,

It shall clasp a sainted maiden whom the angels name R8 -

Clasp a rare and radiant maiden, whom the angels name R8?'

Quoth the Gibson, `Nevermore.'

 

`Be that word our sign of parting, bird or fiend!' I shrieked upstarting -

`Get thee back into the tempest and the Night's Plutonian shore!

Leave no flame top as a token of that lie thy soul hath spoken!

Leave my loneliness unbroken! - quit the bust above my door!

Take thy neck from out my heart, and take thy form from off my door!'

Quoth the Gibson, ` Chirp-Some-More.'

 

And the Gibson, never flitting, still is sitting, still is sitting

On the pallid bust of Pallas just above my chamber door;

And his frets have all the seeming of a demon's that is dreaming,

And the lamp-light o'er him streaming throws his shadow on the floor;

And my soul from out that shadow that lies floating on the floor

Shall be lifted - Chirp-Some-More!

10thumbs

Bet you were chuffed when you finally found it,

must've felt like it was Xmas.

Nitefly

@Myranda - fabulous work, thank you!  

terada

RMJ said:

https://imgur.com/a/OGb8ZZc

That has to be a twatish builder joke

PhilW1

Beep




is that 10 pages?