Phrases you think are common but nobody else has heard before

Dopesick

Scousers laptop = Pizza

randella

Student bath - a quick squirt of deodorant

hywelg

Jesus Patsy

hywelg

He doesn't know if it's arsehole or breakfast time

Myranda

As a mature student surrounded by normal age students... Practically half the things I say or reference...

I've had to explain things like Chernobyl, explain who John Hurt was (then explain that Alien is really worth watching...)... Films, TV, music... History (upto and including this last week).

It's as though people are so uninterested in everything that nothing has meaning now. 

bacchanalian

Cross as a bag of weasels

Would not piss in your pocket if your balls were on fire

Auditioning the finger puppets

CHRISB50

Manscaping
Gusset typist

Guitar_Slinger

See also: Playing the fanny banjo.

Longtallronnie

Makes my heart pump purple piss.
Got a mouth as dry as Ghandi's flip flop.
Wind yer neck in.

Foster

Sweating like a peado at a playground

Mark1960

Couldn't pull the cock off a Jelly Baby - Under powered car

Mark1960

If his brains were dynamite, there wouldn't be enough to blow his hat off!

Rocker

He wouldn't know when he has enough ate!

--------------------

He is so mean that he wouldn't give you the steam of his piss.

robgilmo

Ripped T' tits ( on drugs n stuff) (Geordie accent) Stuffed from arsehole T' beak.

robgilmo

I was so fucked I didnt even know which way is up.

robgilmo

He can eat an apple through a letter box, someone with big front teeth.

Zoolooter

robgilmo said:

He can eat an apple through a letter box, someone with big front teeth.

.....eat an apple through a tennis racket 

Iamnobody

Low hanging pendulous breasts - nail bags.

One I think I got off here a few years ago? A phrase to describe a particularly unpleasant person...

He’s the load his mum should have swallowed.

Sporky

"Light the lamp, not the rat."

I use that at work a lot. 

Phil_aka_Pip

Cold enough for a piece of string