Online selling phrases that put you off

fields5069

"It's basically new" = "I have played it several times"

sweepy

dano said:

"I bought this recently from [insert forum items name] for £xxx and would like the same price that I paid for it."

Well it's now had one more owner and usage so not sure about that.

I don’t have an issue with this one as generally the stuff is fairly priced and in good Nick with a bit of history etc

JezWynd

'my luthier'. my arse.

Wolfetone

JerkMoans said:

Shit: I think I’m guilty of all of these. In the classifieds, right now  

....very clever. OK, let's all go over and see your ads then...... 

Wolfetone

"Absolutely mint except for..." - It's either mint (as it came off the line) or it's not.

"Anyone that know's their xxx will know how great these are..." - Normally applied to mediocre or obscure items.

"Barn find" - Was put in the barn for a good reason.

"First to see will buy" - Really? Are you a psychic or something?

"For sale due to time waster..." - The original buyer spotted something wrong with it.

"You won't find a better..." - And how would you know that? Have you actually seen every xxx for sale in the world?

"For sale due to change of circumstances..." - I just don't want it anymore or I've seen a better one.

"One lady owner..." - Never serviced, totally neglected, bounced through potholes, burnt out clutch, many body repairs.

"No offers..." - Normally followed over subsequent weeks by 'bump', 'bump', etc....

"No returns" - Totally irrelevant for most Ebay sales.

"Case candy" - Just an irritating phrase.

"Bedroom use only" - Was used as a prop in a porno once.

And my favourite;

"No time wasters" - Ah OK, I have the cash and want your XXX but I am a bit of a time waster so I'll keep away.

equalsql

"Beloved".  Selling my beloved (insert instrument here).. 

JerkMoans

Wolfetone said:

JerkMoans said:

Shit: I think I’m guilty of all of these. In the classifieds, right now  

....very clever. OK, let's all go over and see your ads then...... 

holy shit: a customer

*hurriedly lists everything *

axisus

It really bugs me when someone says "I just want what I paid for it". Who gives a **** what you paid for it.

LastMantra

I've definitely noticed the...

"Only selling because I need money to pay for stuff!........might swap for something interesting though." 

Bygone_Tones

"you're reading this so you already know what it is" 

hate laziness from sellers in general, but that does annoy the crap out of me.

KrisGee

'Best guitar I've ever played' followed by 'been barely out of case'.

Nunogilberto

Wolfetone said:

"Barn find" - Was put in the barn for a good reason.

Or the other one - it’s never even seen the inside of a barn and has been parked on their drive/left in their cupboard for a decade.

hollywoodrox

Collection only -  UPS via interparcel  & buy a box / boxes online  or screw urge some from shops. I have sent loads of guitars and amps like this . Even les Paul’s  with no problems. Its the only way to get the price you would like and not have to deal with local tyre kickers and dreamers on gumtree /Facebook market.  It’s even easier for people with cars as they can go to larger local towns and scrounge up boxes . Collection onlyis a death nell unless you live in a metropolis and you are still limiting yourself to a small portion of buyers.  I have even seen people selling relatively small things collection only . For fucks sake it’s not a huge chore to post or book a courier .

robgilmo

"I really dont want to sell this".    Well dont fucking sell it then.

KrisGee

hollywoodrox said:

Collection only -  UPS via interparcel  & buy a box / boxes online  or screw urge some from shops. I have sent loads of guitars and amps like this . Even les Paul’s  with no problems. Its the only way to get the price you would like and not have to deal with local tyre kickers and dreamers on gumtree /Facebook market.  It’s even easier for people with cars as they can go to larger local towns and scrounge up boxes . Collection onlyis a death nell unless you live in a metropolis and you are still limiting yourself to a small portion of buyers.  I have even seen people selling relatively small things collection only . For fucks sake it’s not a huge chore to post or book a courier .

Until you get screwed by paypal/scammer/fussy buyer/dodgy courier and so on and so on. I perfectly understand 'collection only', some people just prefer a local deal and cold cash in their hand. Can't blame them. Personally I do collection only for guitars that don't come with hardcases and it's unnegotiable. It might end up not selling at all but better safe than sorry!

midlifecrisis

hollywoodrox said:

Collection only -  UPS via interparcel  & buy a box / boxes online  or screw urge some from shops. I have sent loads of guitars and amps like this . Even les Paul’s  with no problems. Its the only way to get the price you would like and not have to deal with local tyre kickers and dreamers on gumtree /Facebook market.  It’s even easier for people with cars as they can go to larger local towns and scrounge up boxes . Collection onlyis a death nell unless you live in a metropolis and you are still limiting yourself to a small portion of buyers.  I have even seen people selling relatively small things collection only . For fucks sake it’s not a huge chore to post or book a courier .

if i want to sell something collection only thats my choice. i dont like being 'bullied' into having to post it with all the risks involved. if im selling it collect only and someones insisting its couriered/posted they can fuck off and buy elsewhere, thats my choice

pintspiller

Guitar in great condition. Just needs one string and easy replaced.

Power-Beef

Roysterdoyster said:

Recently set up by “my tech”!

JezWynd said:

'my luthier'. my arse.

I was pulled up on the use of that phrase here not long ago. What would be the "correct" way to describe that the instrument had been worked on by a professional guitar repair person with whom I entrust my guitars, to a good standard?

Strangefan

Power-Beef said:

Roysterdoyster said:

Recently set up by “my tech”!

JezWynd said:

'my luthier'. my arse.

I was pulled up on the use of that phrase here not long ago. What would be the "correct" way to describe that the instrument had been worked on by a professional guitar repair person with whom I entrust my guitars, to a good standard?

worked on by a professional guitar repair person with whom I entrust my guitars, to a good standard...... There you go 

bertie

late to the parade so these might have been done.................

"Lawsuit........"    for any old piece of far eastern tat

"Better than any Gibson Ive played................"