Random nonsense - weird questions

merlin

Fixed that for you....

chillidoggy

Emp_Fab said:

I love 'Nothing to Declare' type programs....   Watching smugglers' lame stories unravel and change as they are questioned and tests come back positive etc.  Best of all are the Far Eastern travellers trying to enter Australia with suitcases rammed with wombat cocks and pickled snakes' eyeballs then hilariously trying to explain why they signed the declaration that they weren't carrying any foodstuffs.  The melodramatics on camera about how their rights are being infringed and how dare the customs officers  treat them like a common criminal - until they get a body scan and are found to be bursting at the seams with packages of heroin.

I laughed my tits off at a middle-aged Welsh couple, when being asked by the customs guy at Bristol Airport who was pointing at a carrier-bag full of cannabis buds what it was, replied meekly... "Sweets ?".    

When we were going through Customs in Oz, an Asian woman got pulled with what I can only describe as a polystyrene cooler full of what looked like tadpoles, and another with what I swear were live eels or small snakes. I still shudder at the thought of it. They confiscated the lot.

Emp_Fab

In other, unrelated news, I'm growing a moustache and beard for the very first time in my life !  I'm 56 and have always been clean-shaven.  It's a pity it's coming out almost entirely white now, but even a white beard is a beard.

Can you dye beards ?

So far it's only about 1/4" long. but it's growing on me...

fastonebaz

Just for men, for beards. 

Nitefly

Emp_Fab said:

In other, unrelated news, I'm growing a moustache and beard for the very first time in my life !  I'm 56 and have always been clean-shaven.  It's a pity it's coming out almost entirely white now, but even a white beard is a beard.

Can you dye beards ?

So far it's only about 1/4" long. but it's growing on me...

My mate dyed his blue, for Movember one year.  It was still blue in January!

Dominic

Sorry for your loss

Dominic

Emp_Fab said:

In other, unrelated news, I'm growing a moustache and beard for the very first time in my life !  I'm 56 and have always been clean-shaven.  It's a pity it's coming out almost entirely white now, but even a white beard is a beard.

You're a bit late to the party ;
That look was relevant about 6 days ago........have you recruited any "little helpers " or even bought a sleigh ?

steveledzep

Dominic said:

Emp_Fab said:

In other, unrelated news, I'm growing a moustache and beard for the very first time in my life !  I'm 56 and have always been clean-shaven.  It's a pity it's coming out almost entirely white now, but even a white beard is a beard.

You're a bit late to the party ;
That look was relevant about 6 days ago........have you recruited any "little helpers " or even bought a sleigh ?

We daren't have a sleigh thread from Emp.....it'll run and run and run and........

Emp_Fab

Do any of you get the same dream / nightmare regularly?

I keep having one that I've done something terrible in my past - murder to be precise - and I've managed to block it from my mind for decades but I've suddenly remembered it and am overcome with guilt and fear that even though I successfully avoided detection at the time, the police are going to find me one day.  I never know who the person I 'murdered' is though.

It's a horrible dream and dreams always seem so real to me that on one occasion after waking from it, I spent twenty minutes googling unsolved murders in my area in case I really HAD killed someone but just forgotten about it!.

WiresDreamDisasters

Emp_Fab said:

Do any of you get the same dream / nightmare regularly?

I keep having one that I've done something terrible in my past - murder to be precise - and I've managed to block it from my mind for decades but I've suddenly remembered it and am overcome with guilt and fear that even though I successfully avoided detection at the time, the police are going to find me one day.  I never know who the person I 'murdered' is though.

It's a horrible dream and dreams always seem so real to me that on one occasion after waking from it, I spent twenty minutes googling unsolved murders in my area in case I really HAD killed someone but just forgotten about it!.

https://www.auntyflo.com/dream-dictionary/murder

Aunt flo says yer a nutter and yer dead angry.

Emp_Fab

So....  At the moment, I'm working for the University of Wales and one of the buildings I'm in houses a library.  There are no staff or students on campus at present so I've pretty much got the place to myself!  I was strolling up and down the aisles, looking at row after row of books.  Not the dusty old stuff way past it's sell-by date of the libraries of my youth but modern titles on everything from child psychology to advanced 3D game programming.

I stood there in awe at the tsunami of knowledge staring me in the face and it made me think how different my life and my prospects would be if I could somehow read them all....  To spend however long it took, to read hundreds of books.  All that knowledge...  All that expertise...

I was in awe at the shelves of titles in a way that simply would not happen if I were browsing Amazon's website.

I never knew I liked actual printed books this much.  I was rather enraptured by the concept of the Kindle but...  it's not the same is it?

WiresDreamDisasters

I never knew you could read until today.

fob

I'd take a Kindle over an ordinary book pretty much any day. The only place it falls down is when it comes to illustrations/graphs/charts etc.

Emp_Fab

I always used to think that.  I was fascinated by my Kindle and thought it was the greatest invention of modern times.  I even dismissed 'real book' lovers as luddite.  However, standing in front of a dozen shelves, packed with books of different sizes, colours, thick ones, thin ones, scanning the titles of all the interesting subjects, there's a definite urge to take one and flick through it - far greater than the urge to click on one of several filenames on a screen.  It's also a value thing I think - if you have paid a reasonable amount for a real book and you can feel the pages under your fingers, look at the cover etc, it somehow feels that it has more worth than a heavily discounted digital version downloaded in twenty seconds.

I'm sure that I would read a hell of a lot more if I had a bookshelf with real books on than my Kindle sat here, even if it has a zillion books on it - and surely that's the point ?  What use is an invention designed to make reading easier if it simultaneously reduces the appeal of reading ?

Jalapeno

prowla

Emp_Fab said:

Do any of you get the same dream / nightmare regularly?

I keep having one that I've done something terrible in my past - murder to be precise - and I've managed to block it from my mind for decades but I've suddenly remembered it and am overcome with guilt and fear that even though I successfully avoided detection at the time, the police are going to find me one day.  I never know who the person I 'murdered' is though.

It's a horrible dream and dreams always seem so real to me that on one occasion after waking from it, I spent twenty minutes googling unsolved murders in my area in case I really HAD killed someone but just forgotten about it!.

Write a movie or TV script!

poopot

Jalapeno said:

Coffee coming out my nose at that!!!!

Chris.B

Emp_Fab, you're right, the power of books is life changing, that's why so many less than ideal governments have gone out of their way to control book publication. 

I dislike Amazon but have to admit that I really enjoy using my Kindle for fiction - it's just so convenient and when we used to go away, it was great to take a selection of books without filling the case.

On the other hand, for non-fiction books, the Kindle just doesn't work for me. The frequent need to move about the book and revisit pages etc. makes a printed book so much better. 

JAYJO

Emp_Fab said:

I couldn’t possibly start a new thread every time some trivial question pops up in my remaining brain cells so I thought it might be better to have a thread for random nonsense any of us want answers to.

First query of the thread;  Am I the only one who, when eating toast, often ends up with this shape;



....and automatically starts humming this in their head ?

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=xfQwHb1pWPE

This is obviously trickery. Everyone knows its impossible for a piece of toast to land spread side up on a piece of laminate flooring. You dropped it then turned it over applying No Nails to keep it this way up. It was a full piece of toast and you are starting with the 4 corners. You'll never do it.

axisus

As a kid I LOVED libraries. Endless interest.

Now they seem a bit meh. A lot of space to house rather a lot of out of date info. The internet killed libraries for me.

Having said that I do love books. I'm always buying books. I have no interest in reading off of screens, I like the tactile quality of a book.