Am I cutting my nose off to spite my face?

WiresDreamDisasters

Sometimes in the mornings when I watch my daughter before dropping her off at the childminders, sometimes she'll say "I want pancake, sausage, eggs, beans!!!" when I ask her what she wants for breakfast.

This basically means she wants to go over to the local cafe and have a full English with me. Which I occasionally will indulge in.

I only do it for me. I fucking love it.

But she says she wants to do it, but then she wont put her shoes on, or her clothes, or let me comb her hair, or otherwise get her ready for going out of the house.

So I've taken to saying that we can't go, we ran out of time, even though realistically we've got all the time in the world.

I'm trying to teach her a lesson, but I also really miss eating the porkie produce. Am I self-harming?

robgilmo

Kids are like that, and she may only want a fry up because she knows you like them.

littlegreenman

Sounds like she's the one teaching you a lesson!

mart

She’s quite small, isn’t she? So realistically the only lesson she’s learning is that she asked for something and you refused.

So quit the self-harming, go take her out for breakfast and enjoy eating Peppa Pig and being super dad. God knows she’ll hate your company soon enough (if my experience is anything to go by).

Adam_MD

Spend as much time as possible doing fun things you enjoy with your daughter while you can she wont be little for very long. 

fandango

Adam_MD said:

Spend as much time as possible doing fun things you enjoy with your daughter while you can she wont be little for very long. 

Indeed! And certainly not if she’s munching her way through full English Breakfasts.

SNAKEBITE

Teaching kids that if they don't get ready in time and be punctual is important, and if they aren't ready then then they don't get to do the nice things.

However having fun is also important, it's a balance.

breakstuff

Most kids that age are asking for a McDonald's Happy Meal, so be happy she's after the much tastier option. You're kids got good taste. 

Sassafras

Missing out on greasy food won't do you much harm.

jonnyburgo

You bloody London lot popping out of your own kitchen to buy breakfast, oh how the other half live!

kaypeejay

mart said:

God knows she’ll hate your company soon enough (if my experience is anything to go by)

Do you say that because you have met him?

ICBM

Just go and have your full English breakfast after you've dropped her off, she'll never know .


But seriously - yes, if you can encourage her to get ready on time by giving her a treat then I would try to make it that way round, rather than being Bad Dad and saying no because she didn't... if you see what I mean .

TTony

WiresDreamDisasters said:

 Am I self-harming?

Cutting off your own nose potentially falls into the category of "self harming".

Unless it's a particularly horrible nose, in which case you're just saving the  plastic surgery cost and that'd be a good thing.

Use a clean knife though.

digitalscream

robgilmo said:

Kids are like that, and she may only want a fry up because she knows you like them.

This. My time raising a small female human suggests that it's actually the experience of going out and spending time with just you in a non-home setting that she's trying to get to, not necessarily the fry-up itself.

Why not make it a regular thing, say...if she gets ready every morning without fuss, you'll take her out for breakfast every Friday? Then, if she starts to get awkward in the mornings, just a gentle reminder about what happens if she doesn't might relieve all of the hassle without the demands.

Positive training for kids

crunchman

Getting them up and dressed can be a nightmare.  Even when they are old enough to dress themselves, that doesn't mean they do.  I quite often have to tell mine multiple times (at 11 and 7).

Roysterdoyster

“But she says she wants to do it, but then she wont put her shoes on, or her clothes, or let me comb her hair, or otherwise get her ready for going out of the house”

Mate I have 2 daughters, and if you’re not planning to have another fry up, until she does all of the above, you’re going to be a hungry boy! 

Sassafras

Do you really want your daughter to grow into a big fat blob?

WiresDreamDisasters

 

jonnyburgo

Personally I’d send her to school or whatever with a smacked arse and no breakfast, never did me any harm

WiresDreamDisasters

jonnyburgo said:

Personally I’d send her to school or whatever with a smacked arse and no breakfast, never did me any harm

It did. Coz now you're on the internets using sweary words.

octatonic

Do people know the Evelyn Waugh banana story?

During the second world war, Evelyn Waugh's wife managed to procure three bananas for their children. When she brought the fruit home, Evelyn sat down in front of the children, peeled the bananas, poured on cream and sugar, and ate them all. "It would be absurd to say that I never forgave him," wrote Waugh's son Auberon many years later, in his autobiography, Will This Do? (1991), "but he was permanently marked down in my estimation from that moment."

Apparently Evelyn himself was the subject of derision and exclusion by his own father who much preferred Evelyn's brother Alec- enough that whenever Evelyn expressed a desire for something (a toy or a bike) his father would purchase it for Alec. This could be a myth, but it was an often repeated one.