How many mexicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Danny1969

"My friend Gav died from heartburn this morning. I can't believe Gaviscon "

HAL9000

Axe_meister;393793" said:

How many roadies does it take to change a light bulb?

1, 2, 2,1,1

Only one, but he needs to have kept the receipt.

imalone

richardhomer said:

Axe_meister;393793" said:

How many roadies does it take to change a light bulb?

1, 2, 2,1,1

I had a friend who did a degree in sound engineering.

He got a 2:1:2:2

I think I know that guy, he did his dissertation on field recordings of owls.

Lixarto

A friend told me there's going to be a local innuendo competition.

I'm thinking of entering my Dad.

Paul_C

How many Freudians does it take to change a light bulb?
Two, one to change the bulb and the other to hold the penis. . . I mean ladder!

robinbowes

There are 10 types of people in this world, those who understand binary, those who do not, and those who weren't expecting a base-3 joke.

imalone

thecolourbox said:

There are 10 types of people in this world, those who understand binary and those who do not

That's only two types idiot!*
*stolen from a facebook comment... still unsure if it was intentionally or unintentionally ironic.

scrumhalf

What sort of doughnuts did Bob Marley like?

Wi' jam in.

ESBlonde

Knock knock,

Who's there?

Dejav.

Dejav who?

Knock knock.

axisus

Oscar Pistorius and Jim Morrison - Famous for having hits through the doors

boogieman

What sort of cheese do you use to lure a bear out of its cave?

C'mon Bear!

lloyd

I'm a fan of cheesey jokes e.g:

What was left over after the cheese factory explosion?

Debrie

richardhomer

What cheese do you use to hide a horse?

Mascarpone....

lloyd

What do you call cheese that isn't yours?

Nacho cheese

richardhomer

Also a bit fan of the 'Who is?' series of jokes:

'I tell you what, he's hard-faced'.

'Who is?'

'The Man in the Iron Mask'....

'She's a dark horse horse'.

'Who is?'

'Black Beauty'....

'I've heard he's heading for a breakdown'.

'Who is?'

'The AA man'....

Etc.

lloyd

Nice very nice, lols awarded...

How about the old "What do you call a man with ____ on/up his head arse etc?"

A rabbit up his arse? Warren

Seagull on his head? Cliff  etc etc

Shit jokes are the best

mike_l

lloyd said:

Shit jokes are the best shit

Panama_Jack666

My wife was getting ready for a job interview at a photographery shop earlier. Just before she left she knew I would have a joke lined up so she said "Please don't give me any of your silly puns like 'you're a snappy dresser' or 'It'll be over in a flash...'

So I punched her in her face and said "That bruise should develop in about an hour and if you interupt my jokes again, well, you get the picture.'

scrumhalf

I was walking round the gardening section of B&Q the other day when an older gentleman in a B&Q shirt came up to me and asked me if I wanted decking.

Well, after I got the first punch in it wasn't much of a contest.


How many psychiatrists does it take to change a lightbulb? Only one, but it will be a long process and the lightbulb must want to change.


The difference between kinky and perverted? Kinky - you use a feather. Perverted - you use the whole chicken.

richardhomer

How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb?

Five - one to change the bulb and four to discuss the passive role of the socket....