How many mexicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

breakstuff

A midget walks into the library and says "have you got a book on irony".

"yeah mate" says the librarian "it's on the top shelf".

breakstuff

Why doesn't the predictive text on my phone know how to spell Nostradamus?

joeyowen

breakstuff said:

Why doesn't the predictive text on my phone know how to spell Nostradamus?

Auto correct can go to he'll

PolarityMan

Why did the nun fall off the swing?

She;s got no arms.

Nunogilberto

I invited a Jehova's Witness inside the other day. "What do you have to say?" I asked...

He replied... "I don't know - I've never got this far..."

richardhomer

Nunogilberto;397826" said:

I invited a Jehova's Witness inside the other day. "What do you have to say?" I asked...

He replied... "I don't know - I've never got this far..."

What's the difference between a Lada and Jehovah's Witness?

You can always close the door on a Jehovah's Witness.

holnrew

Nunogilberto said:

I invited a Jehova's Witness inside the other day. "What do you have to say?" I asked...

He replied... "I don't know - I've never got this far..."

Don't test that out, they do get invited inside and have plenty to say.

Axe_meister

What as a tampon got as standard that a Lada needs?

A tow rope

Fazer

Two flies on a turd.
One farts.
The other one says "Do you mind? I'm eating."

frankus

What does posh cheese say when it looks in the mirror?

Haloumi!

JAYJO

Hes a soft get!!            Peter Cushion.

Nunogilberto

richardhomer said:

Nunogilberto;397826" said:

I invited a Jehova's Witness inside the other day. "What do you have to say?" I asked...

He replied... "I don't know - I've never got this far..."

What's the difference between a Lada and Jehovah's Witness?

You can always close the door on a Jehovah's Witness.

I thought my spelling was slightly out, but I couldn't quite place where...

holnrew

What's a beaver's favourite cheese? 

Edam.

mike_l

How do you spot the blind man at the nudist camp?  It's not hard........

 

Who's the most popular bloke at the nudist camp?  The guy who can carry 2 mugs of coffee and 12 ring doughnuts..........

 

Who's the most popular girl at the nudist camp? The one who can eat all 12 ring doughnuts with out using her hands..........

 

The fence at the nudist camp has a hole in it. Police say they're looking into it..........

The toilet at the police station was stolen. Police are saying they have nothing to go on........

blueskunk

Adolph Hipster was a cool guy and cleartone conversions make the finest guitars, ever!

thecolourbox

Two flies are at a bar that has a pile of shit on it. One says to the other, "Is this stool taken?"