Friday humour

Hootsmon

rawk100

I'm out birdwatching with Sinead O'Conner at the moment....


So far it's been seven Owls and fifteen Jay's....

Hootsmon

Hootsmon

axisus

FarleyUK

How do you think the unthinkable?

With an ithberg.

PhilW1

hootsmon said:

This is the first thing I read after getting back from having a camera up my arse .pmsl

TheMarlin

PhilW1 said:

hootsmon said:

This is the first thing I read after getting back from having a camera up my arse .pmsl

SLR?

proggy

I saw Elkie Brooks walking her dog this morning.

I said, "Excuse me Elkie, I bet I can guess your dog's name"

"Go on then," she said, "But you're a fool if you think it's Rover"

breakstuff

proggy said:

I saw Elkie Brooks walking her dog this morning.

I said, "Excuse me Elkie, I bet I can guess your dog's name"

"Go on then," she said, "But you're a fool if you think it's Rover"

 The dog's called Earl I think. 

Earl's a Springer.

barry2tone

Alnico

A man and his wife were awakened at 3:00 am by a loud pounding on the door. The man gets up and goes to the door where a drunken stranger, standing in the pouring rain, is asking for a push.
"Not a chance," says the husband, "it is 3:00 in the morning!"
He slams the door and returns to bed.

"Who was that?" asked his wife..
"Just some drunk guy asking for a push," he answers.
"Did you help him?" she asks.
"No, I did not, it's 3 am in the morning and it's bloomin' well pouring with rain out there!"
"Well, you have a short memory," says his wife. "Can't you remember about three months ago when we broke down, and those two guys helped us? I think you should help him, and you should be ashamed of yourself! God loves drunk people too you know."

The man does as he is told, gets dressed, and goes out into the pounding rain.
He calls out into the dark, "Hello, are you still there?"
"Yes," comes back the answer.
"Do you still need a push?" calls out the husband.
"Yes, please!" comes the reply from the dark. 
"Where are you?" asks the husband.

"Over here on the swing," replied the drunk..

Hootsmon

Hootsmon

axisus

axisus

Hootsmon

WiresDreamDisasters

hootsmon said:

Remember that time you posted a picture of a gorilla holding his middle finger up and you got a coolering? That was funny.

littlegreenman

Hootsmon

WiresDreamDisasters said:

hootsmon said:

Remember that time you posted a picture of a gorilla holding his middle finger up and you got a coolering? That was funny.