Friday humour

AK99

@Haych - still chucking at that Steve Miller quip. Nicely paced  

chillidoggy

Nitefly said:

@Gandalph - IKEA gag stolen and sent to my sister in Sweden 

Hope she’ll be able to make something of it.

Haych

AK99 said:

@Haych - still chucking at that Steve Miller quip. Nicely paced  

Can’t take credit for it - nicked off the book of farce. Glad you enjoyed though.

Winny_Pooh

 

Haych

Sad news.

I broke up with my girlfriend Lorraine. She found out i was seeing another woman, Claire Lee.

Good news.

I can see Claire Lee now Lorraine has gone.

……..I’ll get m’coat. 

rogd

Gandalph

TheMarlin

equalsql

https://i.imgur.com/T0hIQsK.jpg

TheMarlin

rogd

TheMarlin said:

Err! 'Scuse me! I live in Cotehill and its nout to do with Cocklakes!!!

chillidoggy

They missed 'Pratt's Bottom' off the tour.

Very shoddy work.

goldtop

There's also the impossible-to-sell-house that is Gobblecock Cottage: https://mapcarta.com/W839805254

springhead

And why didn't they go to Brown Willy in Cornwall?

axisus

proggy

As the intruder entered the darkened room, I aimed the red dot right between his eyes.....
The cat took over at that point.

boogieman

“Harder. Harder!!” She moaned, biting her lip. 

“Very well then” I replied. “What’s the capital of Uzbekistan?” 

Emp_Fab

springhead said:

And why didn't they go to Brown Willy in Cornwall?

They also missed the village of Titarsecockflapsbury.

boogieman

A cat and dog are having an argument about who’s the humans’ favourite pet. The dog says “well it’s obviously dogs isn’t it. We’re so popular that humans have even named a body part after us, the canine tooth. Beat that! ”

The cat just smirks. 

Haych

I tried and failed to get my wife's attention. 

In desperation, I simply sat down and looked comfortable. 

That did the trick!