Can we share live confessions?

Handsome_Chris

Alnico said:

About 5 years ago i went to a jam night that i had never been to before, at a club i used to go to as a punter 20 years ago. I was told there is lots of backline so i just took my Tele. All restrung and perfectly set up and stretched in, no problems with the guitar at all. On the way out of the door i felt in that little plectrum pocket in my jeans and could feel a pick there so thought the famous last words, "That'll Do" and off we went.

Got there to find a load of old mates i hadn't seen for years, some of them for the 20 years i had been absent from this club.

Much drinking ensued but while downing the first bottle of newky brown, i had told the organiser i would play and which song etc. He told me i could use his Hot Rod Deluxe and i thought that would sound great with my Tele, so just kept having a laugh and drinking.

My turn comes up and he gives me my intro well before i get anywhere near the stage. He gave me a rather BIG intro and the crowd had this air of massive expectation.

By the time i had got there, got my Tele out of it's gig bag, plugged in and got tuned up it felt like about 5 years had passed and the crowd had all started talking again. "Brilliant timing" i thought but not wanting to look as bad as i felt, i turned to the man organiser who was by his Fender amp and he said "What kind of sound do you want?".

For some reason and i still to this day don't know why i said this, i shouted back over the stage "Give me Paul Weller !".

The band heard that and got ready for something by the 'Modfather'. I then turn to the band and say........."We're playing 'Keep on Rockin' in the free world !", having planned to do that song all along.

Utter confusion as i am reaching for the aforementioned plectrum in said little pocket.

I pull out a Timbertones Ebony pick, realise it's the only one i've got and in a blind panic, just start playing.

As that song is all guitar (MY guitar) for the first 4 bars, I'm away with the north-eastern fairies by this point after about 9 bottles of the rusty nectar, feeling nothing but pressure and the guitar is WAY too clean, i'm hitting the strings like i'm using a kango hammer to play them with and i suddenly hear all this which makes the panic absolute. All i could think of was the lyrics and not getting them wrong so i step up to the mic, just play the chords i can remember, the band come in and i'm just doing the best i can.

It Wasn't until i heard the whole thing back a few days later on a popular online video website, that i realised that in my drunken panic / stupor i had been playing it in E MAJOR !

It sounded like some fucked up kids song from Ballamory, the band were visibly furious and i swore that night never to play drunk ever again.

Worst performance of my life.

@Alnico, you are the cure for the blues. You're also a cautionary tale on the horrors of drink guitaring?

Alnico

Handsome_Chris said:

Alnico said:

About 5 years ago i went to a jam night that i had never been to before, at a club i used to go to as a punter 20 years ago. I was told there is lots of backline so i just took my Tele. All restrung and perfectly set up and stretched in, no problems with the guitar at all. On the way out of the door i felt in that little plectrum pocket in my jeans and could feel a pick there so thought the famous last words, "That'll Do" and off we went.

Got there to find a load of old mates i hadn't seen for years, some of them for the 20 years i had been absent from this club.

Much drinking ensued but while downing the first bottle of newky brown, i had told the organiser i would play and which song etc. He told me i could use his Hot Rod Deluxe and i thought that would sound great with my Tele, so just kept having a laugh and drinking.

My turn comes up and he gives me my intro well before i get anywhere near the stage. He gave me a rather BIG intro and the crowd had this air of massive expectation.

By the time i had got there, got my Tele out of it's gig bag, plugged in and got tuned up it felt like about 5 years had passed and the crowd had all started talking again. "Brilliant timing" i thought but not wanting to look as bad as i felt, i turned to the man organiser who was by his Fender amp and he said "What kind of sound do you want?".

For some reason and i still to this day don't know why i said this, i shouted back over the stage "Give me Paul Weller !".

The band heard that and got ready for something by the 'Modfather'. I then turn to the band and say........."We're playing 'Keep on Rockin' in the free world !", having planned to do that song all along.

Utter confusion as i am reaching for the aforementioned plectrum in said little pocket.

I pull out a Timbertones Ebony pick, realise it's the only one i've got and in a blind panic, just start playing.

As that song is all guitar (MY guitar) for the first 4 bars, I'm away with the north-eastern fairies by this point after about 9 bottles of the rusty nectar, feeling nothing but pressure and the guitar is WAY too clean, i'm hitting the strings like i'm using a kango hammer to play them with and i suddenly hear all this which makes the panic absolute. All i could think of was the lyrics and not getting them wrong so i step up to the mic, just play the chords i can remember, the band come in and i'm just doing the best i can.

It Wasn't until i heard the whole thing back a few days later on a popular online video website, that i realised that in my drunken panic / stupor i had been playing it in E MAJOR !

It sounded like some fucked up kids song from Ballamory, the band were visibly furious and i swore that night never to play drunk ever again.

Worst performance of my life.

@Alnico, you are the cure for the blues. You're also a cautionary tale on the horrors of drink guitaring?

Ain't that the truth !!!

Thanks man.

Tea-Total-Blind-Dog-Willie doesn't have the same ring to it though !

MikeDearing

falling off stage at a large London venue into the pit in a quiet bit of a live recording and all you could hear was the sniggering of seemingly everyone..

Drew_TNBD

Semi live confession - one time we did a gig, and it was one of my best friends birthdays. So I gave him a shout out - something like "Happy Birthday dude!" ... everyone cheered... and coz I'm a twat I followed up with "doesn't stop you being a fag!" - eruptions of laughter, because by and large all people are twats.

Band almost broke up over that. lol.

ElectroDan

I was working with a singer years ago. He came across to me on stage and says,

"I didn't want to wake the Mrs up this morning, so I got dressed in the dark and accidentally put a pair of her knickers on."

After chuckling I replied

"Well don't worry. Nobody else knows."

And he replies

"Aye I know but I've got a boner and I can't concentrate!"

)

LightB4sound

I am going to be playing a Justin Beiber song tonight.....I'll get my coat

Gassage

I haven't played as much live as many on here.

However I ended up in an Eagles tribute band a few yrs back.

Our drummer had delusions of being Henley and insisted on regaling his wife with a melodic acapella destruction of Desperado every night which rather took the gloss off it.

It was horrendous.

Cabicular

Danny1969;983444" said:

It was like massive, bigger than a seventies porno, you could have hid an orangutan in it !  ........ it's just I didn't expect to see it, put me right off my stroke it did

What's the expression
Like an axe wound in a gorillas shin?

DulcetJones

Great thread, I've had some of these myself.  Our lead singer used to say at the end of each bar gig "remember folks, drunk drivers are the leading cause of car accidents, so drink up and go get 'em" until the manager of one of the bars told him to stop.  Shortly after I left that band I got married and we hired them to play at our wedding.  The new guitarist graciously offered me his guitar if I wanted to come up and play a few songs.  So, having had several drinks I took the stage and proceeded to break both bottom strings by about the half way mark of the first song.  And of course it had a wammy bar and went horribly out of tune, good times.

FarleyUK

Had an interesting one on Saturday....

Playing at a regular pub in Hemel, first set goes well, but at the start of the second set, the guitar doesn't feel quite right and there keeps being a whistling-type feedback sound. I was trying to figure out what it was, so just kept giving the other guitarist the Evil Eye.

Wasn't until Sunday night that I realised a preamp valve in my amp had blown and must have been causing the issue.....

At the same gig, I also got trapped in the crowd during my walkabout solo - it just happened to be the area where all the rather lovely ladies were..... although drunk women groping you while you're trying to play can be havoc for the concentration

paulk

Played a solo gig in a Tokyo nightclub many years ago. Got slaughtered on sake before hitting the stage. Literally hit the stage falling off it during the first song.

Went for the boost for a solo, hit the tuner (mute). More than once.

Those aren't my worst.

koneguitarist

Only played drunk once, got a pic somewhere, the band were so bad, I had to drink (a lot) in the break to go back onstage. Actually I fell back on stage! The Buffs club in Yeovil!

Bellycaster

You know that Manics song "Australia", well, it has a Tremolo effect on the opening chords. I use a Jack Rabbit Tremolo which I also use as a Volume Boost(with the Trem effect turned off) at gigs.

So, at one gig I turned the wrong knobs for that track and boosted the Volume of my Guitar to about double, the fucking fright I got when I hit that first chord, I was literally like a Rabbit in the Headlights and you could see the punters were like "What the Fuck?" wouldn't be surprised if a few jumped out of their skins. It took about 3 chords for me to gather myself and realise what I'd done and then scramble like fuck to try and normalise the situation, but we never dropped a beat :-)

drwiddly

The band I was in in the mid 70's did a cover of Warrior by Wishbone Ash. At one gig I was bored/drunk/stoned (take your pick) and thought it would be fun to play the solo a semitone down. I did it entirely straight faced whilst looking the other guitarist (who is now in a very famous band) in the eye. He was absolutely pissing himself and the singer looked panic stricken which made it even funnier.

rsvmark

Last night- I started long train running in F# instead of G. The keyboard player nearly fainted once he hit his first note. Hmmmmmm, that didn't sound right so at the end of the 8th bar I snuck it up to G. The sound guy commented on what a slick change it was and the keyboard player looked like he had just passed a bowling ball.....

IvisonGuitars

We were once playing a posh wedding in a marquee on the lawn of the grooms parents. We were put in a separate alcove facing the dance floor so we could set up behind the marquee lining, using it as a curtain while people were eating and speeches etc, and then it could be pulled back to reveal the band. The speakers were set up in front at the edge of the dance floor and we just had to move the mics forward and start playing. All went well with the first set, people up dancing and having a great time. We took a break, pulled the curtain across behind the mics to conceal ourselves and took our break. 

 Stood in a huddle in front of the drums, we assessed how the first set went, "yeah, they seem into it, and I tell you what, I'd shag the bride!" exclaimed the bass player. "yup", I concur, "and that blonde in the blue dress would get it an' all"....while looking at our mixing desk, wondering why the VU meters were still moving....then realising the PA was still on, we were less that a foot away from my SM58 which was the other side of the curtain and the people sat at the tables directly next to the dance floor and half of the marquee had heard our 'private' chat....we played the second set rather sheepishly indeed.

Another wedding story.

We played the wedding of our key's players sister-in-law to be. He was also the best man. We were in a beautiful private school in Dorset of a big, high stage. The deal was he and I would start the set sat down with just acoustic and keys playing a couple of songs for their first dance. The rest of the band would walk on during the end of the 2nd song and we would then 'go electric' for the remainder of the set. All went brilliantly, the 'first dance' and the second song had everyone on the floor with the bride and groom at the front of the stage leading the dancing. 

Now how on earth this next bit happened I have no idea, I can't even work out the physics of it but it just happened. 

I had a full pint of real ale on the floor next to my stool during the first 2 numbers. As the band kicked in with the 3rd song in the set, I got up from the stool, spun round to put down my acoustic and pick up my electric and caught the pint with my foot.....sending it flying off the stage and hitting the bride full on in the stomach, emptying the contents of the pint all down her ivory lace dress.

Cue much screaming from the mother-in-laws and the bridal party rushing from the dance floor outside to grab cloths, paper towels, wet wipes and anything else to mop it up. What else could we do but play on to a, by this time, rather hostile crowd....

As a side note, they did manage to clean it up enough so it didn't stain and the bridge was back on the dance floor later on but that ranks up there with one of the worst moments of my life.

And bizzarely, we still get quite a few wedding enquiries! 

Placidcasual79

In a previous band - doing our own material - we had our biggest gig to date and the towns nite club. We were all 18/19 and seriously nervous. The very small changing room was directly off the side of the stage and the five of us were crammed in there sh*tting ourselves for half an hour before hand - we smoked it up good - 'jazz cigarettes' - when we came out to start the smoke rolled out like dry ice from hair metal top of the pops performance. The smoke alarm went off as we plugged in and confusion reigned!!! 

Alnico

^

Excellent Dude !