Can we share live confessions?

gazzauk · February 2016

PC_Dave said:

I sharted while playing the intro to Bad Love at a gig. Never played the song since.

And we have a winner!

viz · February 2016

DLM said:

@Viz, what songs did you play with them?

Smoke on the Water and Eruption/You really got me lol

chrisj1602 · February 2016

I played a gig at Manchester Academy 3 a few years ago. We had 15 minutes to change over, but as soon as put my guitar down, some dick from the next band came and placed his Cajon drum box thing right next to me and proceeded to kick my pedals out of the way. I just had a couple of Boss pedals for the gig, no board.

I asked him what his problem was, and basically he was just being an arsehole. So I started to pack my pedals and leads away and next to me, the sound tech popped the mic in the back of the Cajon. Once he'd gone I put my hand in and disconnected the mic from the lead then went and watched the gig. It took him a good few songs to realise.

hotpickups · February 2016

Plectrum said:

@BahHumbug did you ever see the state of Eric Roache's Lowden? A little ding is nothing in comparison. My O25C has got quite a few dings and loads of scratches on it. And that's mainly from just playing it at home!

I saw Eric perform in Bath a while a go. Such an awesome, talented player and a really nice guy too. Sadly missed

Winny_Pooh · February 2016

In my last band as a bassist we played uptempo pop rock with some Latin/Mediterranean songs.

One song was an kinda serious one-chord-groove in E with busy drums and an interlude that went A E A E etc

That section reminded me of Bob Dylan's Tweedledum & Tweedledee (from Love & Theft) so one night live I subtly turned the bassline into country swing, the drummer (my best friend) notices immediately and follows along to our mutual hilarity. Our singers felt something was wrong but were too musically inept to say exactly why until a couple of gigs later.

DrBob · February 2016

I got invited up to play guitar by a friends band at another friends wedding.
It had already been a very long and perhaps excessively 'heavy' day in terms of intake but upon being handed the guitar I was heard to exclaim
"It's got no strings on it !"
My friend had to point out that I was in fact looking at the back of the guitar......

viz · February 2016

^ lol

koneguitarist · February 2016

So so many embarrassing moments, the worst was definitely the one where we attempted to do Wonderful tonight. The drummer came in wrong, so guitarist stopped him, and showed him the count in. Meanwhile, this one legged bloke was hopping up and down shouting" get on with it"!

koneguitarist · February 2016

Got to be careful here in case @firepaulmusic is watching, but I was doing a gig in Yeovil with at the time my '54 tele, which had frets almost ground level with the board, so stupidly difficult to bend a string on. And a very clean sounding SF Vibrolux amp. For distortion I was using a Marshall Bluesbreaker, but battery had run out. At that moment, a certain mate, asked could he use my stuff to do a song? Of course, >:) Never seen anybody look so scared as they start launching into a Gary Moore number and realising the pedal don't work and he can't bend the strings. Also to compound matters the other guitarist was as good as it gets, so I had some murderous looks from my mate as I sipped my pint smiling! :-\"

koneguitarist · February 2016

Oh yeah, I was asked to play guitar behind my head during a solo like James Burton used to do and I brought the house down. Literally, headstock knocked a ceiling tile loose which meant a few others fell as well, one dusty Welshman!

Cabicular · February 2016

I took my guitar from round my neck to do the Steve Vai hold it to one side sustained note

I got my distances a bit wrong and ended up cracking square off my forehead.

Played the rest of the gig with a huge red lump on my noggin

Roadies jumped the bass player once and dragged him by his legs along the stage. It was old... there were a lot of splinters

They spent a good half hour afterwards with a pair of needle nose pliers and a pair of tweezers

We played a place called Ceasers Palace in Aberdeen. We had an intro tape full of atmospheric 80s synth guff

In this place the lights went out when the tape went out and it was pitch dark. I mean totally black

The intro finished and the lights came up and we were al facing in totally different directions

Then the pyros went off comically late

EricTheWeary · February 2016

All this head bumping reminded me about something with my old band. We played The Stumble Inn, Cannock, once played by Status Quo who described it as a shit hole. Anyway, there is a small stage with lights above it. Our singer intended to jump off the stage into the audience but clonked his head on the lights and spent about a minute lying on the floor unconscious whilst we carried on playing. Apart from struggling to recall lyrics for the next few songs he seemed fine

gubble · February 2016

At a wedding a rather large ginger lass in a bright yellow dress lost her footing on the dancefloor.

She launched herself at me casuing me to topple over backwards into my amp with her on top of me.

Dopesick · February 2016

Had a couple of gigs in the early days when the guitar strap would come undone. Luckily it always occurred in a two-guitar band.

Also one gig I was getting really into it with one of my old bands from the mid 2000s, and then inexplicably my trousers started to fall down. They were down around my knees when the song ended.

rsvmark · February 2016

Last gig we were doing the Valerie cover by Amy Winehouse. Sound was 'full' so it took me a verse and chorus to realise capo was 1 fret away from where it needed to be.....

My favourite one was several years ago we drafted a keyboard player in as the gig was a Rio carnival fancy dress theme so we 'Latined up' and did some fun arrangements. This keyboard play was dead handy and we asked him to cover off the harmonica solo in Long train runnin..... He nailed it note perfect first time in rehearsal without music. Impressive.

In the gig he didn't quite do it- and played the theme tune from Rainbow. I collapsed in a fit of giggles and had to have a moment to compose myself and start playing again

Danny1969 · February 2016

We were doing the Haslemere Hotel near Hindhead in the nineties and it was always a good rowdy gig with a lot of metal loving bikers. One night a group of guys had hired a stripper for one of their mates birthday so he and she get onstage, we sit him in a chair and she starts getting topless. There's some cans of foam and all the normal soaping up top treatment and i'm crouching on the floor fiddling with my tuner cos the DC power keeps cutting out. Anyhow I finally wedge it into a position where it works, then turn to stand back up and I almost buried my head in the biggest bush I've ever seen, they had paid her extra, she was next to me now and I hadn't noticed ... it was all off and the bush was so big I was literally traumatized by it!

I can still see that bush now, huge it was !

Panama_Jack666 · February 2016

Danny1969 said:

We were doing the Haslemere Hotel near Hindhead in the nineties and it was always a good rowdy gig with a lot of metal loving bikers. One night a group of guys had hired a stripper for one of their mates birthday so he and she get onstage, we sit him in a chair and she starts getting topless. There's some cans of foam and all the normal soaping up top treatment and i'm crouching on the floor fiddling with my tuner cos the DC power keeps cutting out. Anyhow I finally wedge it into a position where it works, then turn to stand back up and I almost buried my head in the biggest bush I've ever seen, they had paid her extra, she was next to me now and I hadn't noticed ... it was all off and the bush was so big I was literally traumatized by it!

I can still see that bush now, huge it was !

How big are we talking? Gonna need some more description...

Danny1969 · February 2016

It was like massive, bigger than a seventies porno, you could have hid an orangutan in it ! ........ it's just I didn't expect to see it, put me right off my stroke it did

Alnico · February 2016

About 5 years ago i went to a jam night that i had never been to before, at a club i used to go to as a punter 20 years ago. I was told there is lots of backline so i just took my Tele. All restrung and perfectly set up and stretched in, no problems with the guitar at all. On the way out of the door i felt in that little plectrum pocket in my jeans and could feel a pick there so thought the famous last words, "That'll Do" and off we went.

Got there to find a load of old mates i hadn't seen for years, some of them for the 20 years i had been absent from this club.

Much drinking ensued but while downing the first bottle of newky brown, i had told the organiser i would play and which song etc. He told me i could use his Hot Rod Deluxe and i thought that would sound great with my Tele, so just kept having a laugh and drinking.

My turn comes up and he gives me my intro well before i get anywhere near the stage. He gave me a rather BIG intro and the crowd had this air of massive expectation.

By the time i had got there, got my Tele out of it's gig bag, plugged in and got tuned up it felt like about 5 years had passed and the crowd had all started talking again. "Brilliant timing" i thought but not wanting to look as bad as i felt, i turned to the man organiser who was by his Fender amp and he said "What kind of sound do you want?".

For some reason and i still to this day don't know why i said this, i shouted back over the stage "Give me Paul Weller !".

The band heard that and got ready for something by the 'Modfather'. I then turn to the band and say........."We're playing 'Keep on Rockin' in the free world !", having planned to do that song all along.

Utter confusion as i am reaching for the aforementioned plectrum in said little pocket.

I pull out a Timbertones Ebony pick, realise it's the only one i've got and in a blind panic, just start playing.

As that song is all guitar (MY guitar) for the first 4 bars, I'm away with the north-eastern fairies by this point after about 9 bottles of the rusty nectar, feeling nothing but pressure and the guitar is WAY too clean, i'm hitting the strings like i'm using a kango hammer to play them with and i suddenly hear all this which makes the panic absolute. All i could think of was the lyrics and not getting them wrong so i step up to the mic, just play the chords i can remember, the band come in and i'm just doing the best i can.

It Wasn't until i heard the whole thing back a few days later on a popular online video website, that i realised that in my drunken panic / stupor i had been playing it in E MAJOR !

It sounded like some fucked up kids song from Ballamory, the band were visibly furious and i swore that night never to play drunk ever again.

Worst performance of my life.

thomasross20 · February 2016

Haha that's amazing @viz

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