Guitarist-isms that make you cringe

Johnnyseven

The term 'woman tone' is something i'm not keen on - anyone know what it's supposed to mean?

I second the opinion of 'plays like butter'. Butter is thick and greasy and makes me want to wash my hands when it gets on my fingers, how is that good for a guitar?

benecol

timhulio said: I'm amazed this one hasn't cropped-up yet.
"Tone is in the fingers". Ah, y'see, I think they have a point. I sound like me (and cack) on most guitars, whereas I've got friends who can play my guitars and can sound both like themselves and make the guitar sound like a fabulous exemplar (ie. teles sound tele like, P90s growl and bark) at the same time.

Johnnyseven said:

The term 'woman tone' is something i'm not keen on - anyone know what it's supposed to mean? 

Skip to 1:55 (I hate myself for being able to pinpoint this video so accurately):

(Nice to hear him confuse the word "treble" for "bass" like a pro, too)

carlos

Any macho terms for guitars like "8-string monsters", wtf?

bertie

"secret soapbar"

monquixote

bertie said:

"secret soapbar"

See also 

"Is the soap up your end?"

and 

"Where's the soap?"

"It does a bit doesn't it"

57Deluxe

'Sag'.... I hate that term for what amounts to a bit of saturated compression! (I also hate saggy ball bags too....)

equalsql

'Fast Neck'  they all look fixed to me...
'Ice Picky' where does this term originate from?

ThePrettyDamned

equalsql;117657" said:

'Fast Neck'  they all look fixed to me...

'Ice Picky' where does this term originate from?

Fast neck I like, and ice picky.

Ice picky means, if played loud, it'll feel like someone is slamming a sharp ice pick into your ear. And it is a very real thing! I've had a tear brought to my eye by a Telecaster going through a Marshall... Not in a good way.

Branshen

Tone snobs.

Went to Denmark street looking for the Zoom MS-70CDR, and there was a salesman who said "Zoom?! You don't want Zoom! I couldn't look you in the eye and sell you a Zoom, which is why we only stock XYZ.. That stuff's for beginners! You say that you're gigging, you want something proper"

Everyone loves boutique stuff! It's so shiny and so much thought and engineering has been put into them (well, most of them), but maintaining that your boutique analog, true bypass tone is 100% better than mine because I have a Zoom is incredibly annoying. Worst thing is, there is no way to argue with these guys because all the psychoacoustics are already hardwired into their brains.

Misty

I've got no real complaints about most of the above, as they all convey an idea which most guitarists would understand, even if the term does make them cringe. "Fast neck" means very little to me, except for suggesting that it's probably a thin one which would put me off anyway. However, "plays like buttah" has to be the worst for me, and is guaranteed to put me off reading any further, though it probably says more about the writer than the guitar it describes. I also hate bad Youtube demos, many of which manage to make excellent pieces of kit sound like crap.

JookyChap

Plays like buttah is definitely the worst, puts the silent 'W' in Anchor..

Woman tone and brown sound also do my bonce in, and I try not to remember the name of my kids never mind my guitars..

 

Blueingreen

martinw said:

Why is important to criticise word choice to describe something that's hard to describe?

I totally agree.  Criticising metaphors because they are not literally true seems particularly daft: they won't be by definition.  

usedtobe

I don't know that stuff bothers me that much, but here's a few ism's that came to mind:

A lot of guitar for the money. The dusty frets. Sustains for days. Tone machine. 

EricTheWeary

57Deluxe said:

'Sag'.... I hate that term for what amounts to a bit of saturated compression!

...better with paneer

Deadman

ICBM said:

Axe

Definitely. Anyone who uses this is usually a big bender in my book.

usedtobe

String bender, you mean..?

guitarfishbay

I don't mind metaphors, I just don't like rubbish 'common knowledge-isms' that aren't correct.  Thankfully this board is pretty good when it comes to those.

randomhandclaps

http://i1284.photobucket.com/albums/a579/imadray/Kemper-Profiling-Amplifier_zpsfbc8beb0.jpg

Why it no show picture?!

Deadman

)

Absolutely brilliant @randomhandclaps

Rocker

Anyone who describes a guitar as a players guitar.  WTF is a guitar for anyway if not for playing?