Innocuous phrases that strike terror into the heart ...

mikeyrob73

" we need to talk " 

When uttered by a female 

axisus

I'm pregnant.

Bonus terror when it's your mum

axisus

axisus said:

I'm pregnant.

Bonus terror when it's your mum

Double bonus terror if it's your dad

mike_l

It's a five minute job.
When said by a man, it'll take five minutes.
When said by a woman, it'll take 6 hours and half your tool kit.

richardhomer

"Can I borrow your (insert name of guitar)?"

kjdowd

"Do you think we should.. " followed by casual mention of a 6 figure home improvement project

"this train is being held to even out the gaps in the service"

MtB

Is it in?

the_jaffa

"Watch this" rarely ends well

kjdowd

Shall we have people over for dinner?

kossofffan

The one that strikes terror into me is when my missus says. ' We've been invited to............... '

Gassage

Any news link headline on FB 'You won't believe what happens when...'

boogieman

Darling, could you just.... ? 

Your mum rang. 

Dad, I'm in a bit of money bother, could you lend me....?

barry2tone

"Mind the gap"

Repeatedly chanting the absurdity of Cartesian dualism does not make it true.

Sarge

"my mum is coming for the weekend" 

"wake up"

"one of the girls at work has invited us to... "

" the washing machine sounds funny... "

speshul91

Can you have a look at

Rocker

We (dentists) call it one injection while it is actually two prods of the needle.

Dopesick

'Can I have a word?' always makes me die inside. Nothing good happens after that phrase.

Also the use of the word 'rad' when talking about guitar equipment. What made that word come back?

thisisguitar

Just needs a little TLC and it'll be like new