Should I be annoyed?

stimpsonslostson

I've recently decided to change jobs/careers and have been applied for a few things over the past few months- I've had an interview or two, but not yet decided to leave my current job (one they offered me the lowest possible salary and another wanted me to permanently work antisocial shifts despite me saying at interview that I have childcare commitments).

Then at the weekend I bumped into a friend I've not seen in a month or so & was chatting to him about the situation. I mentioned that I was waiting to hear back about my latest new application and we got chatting about what the potential job was… he seemed quite enthusiastic and thought it like a good position- as do I: good prospects, salary and conditions.

So today I get a text from him saying he's applied for the same job. 

I know it's not up to me who gets the job and that our applications will be judged on their individual merits, but I'm still a bit peeved. Should I be? Or is it fair game? 

Drew_TNBD

He's a bit of a knob. But you should be more circumspect about what information you communicate to people.

DesVegas

Sounds like it's not right for you but right for him

stimpsonslostson

Drew_fx said:

He's a bit of a knob. But you should be more circumspect about what information you communicate to people.

Fair enough. Kinda where my own thinking is to be honest.

lloyd

You sound like you don't want the job or are at least pretty negative about it, I would be upset if it was a mate and I wanted the job, but in this scenario? No

Teetonetal

It's fair game, but I would be very annoyed at the same time if it's a good friend.
At least he had the balls to tell you. Imagine bumping into him at an interview.

RobDavies

Sounds like a bit of wanky thing to do, to be honest.

webrthomson

IMHO thats a dick move by someone that you thought was your friend - I'd be peved too!

stimpsonslostson

lloyd said:

You sound like you don't want the job or are at least pretty negative about it, I would be upset if it was a mate and I wanted the job, but in this scenario? No

I've edited the starter to clarify:

I DO want the new job that he's also applied for- it looks like an improvement in terms, conditions and salary on my current one. 

The job I'm not keen on is my current one, but I can't leave until I meet a minimum salary threshold (and am able to look after my family commitments)- which is why I turned down two other job offers from different roles.

lloyd

stimpsonslostson said:

lloyd said:

You sound like you don't want the job or are at least pretty negative about it, I would be upset if it was a mate and I wanted the job, but in this scenario? No

I've edited the starter to clarify:

I DO want the new job that he's also applied for- it looks like an improvement in terms, conditions and salary on my current one. 

The job I'm not keen on is my current one, but I can't leave until I meet a minimum salary threshold (and am able to look after my family commitments)- which is why I turned down two other job offers from different roles.

Ah right, yeah but of a cunty move by your mate, I'd reasses him and how much information I told him (personally I'd phase him out as its not what I consider what mates do to each other and life's too short to be mates with people like this).

If he found the job and applied independently it's a totally different scenario.

boogieman

If he's jumped on the job purely because of what you told him, I agree he's a nob and not really much of a mate. Different matter if he'd applied of his one accord. 

stickyfiddle

If you're already in a reasonable job and he's unemployed then it's fair game. If he also has a reasonable job already then it's a bit of a dick move. 

I have to be honest, I wouldn't tell friends or colleagues with similar skill sets enough info on  a job if applied for that they could work out the company unless it was extremely obvious

jellyroll

It's not fair game. It's a crappy thing to do to a mate.

Snap

well, I wouldn't do that to a mate.

I don't think he's really your mate

Troy

Sounds bit of a dick move to me. I remember when I was younger my mate was getting made redundant and I then got offered a position at the same company, I said if it's his old job then no thank you, fortunately was a different role.

bingefeller

One thing I've learnt in life is to trust absolutely no one outside of your immediate family circle.  There are no exceptions to this. Always expect the worst from people and you'll never be disappointed.  

lloyd

bingefeller said:

One thing I've learnt in life is to trust absolutely no one outside of your immediate family circle.  There are no exceptions to this. Always expect the worst from people and you'll never be disappointed.  

That's a fairly shitty philosophy to have-blood ties are no guarantee and I have some mates that I would trust my life with.

Luckily my family are awesome too, but some people aren't so lucky.

BigMonka

I think you should be a bit miffed, but at least he's been upfront rather than potentially getting the job and you not finding out till later.
I think I'd reply along the lines of "you cheeky blighter, if you nick my job then I at least want a recruitment agent's fee!"

thermionic

I think you should be annoyed with yourself for telling your mate about this great job opportunity.

Steffo

I that is what a mate does I loathe to think what people that don't like you do. Your "mate" is a massive dick.

TheBlueWolf

He should have given you a heads up first, so I get what you mean.