Devastating News

richardhomer

thomasross20 said:

That's definitely what's happened (in fact I'm still angry but feel like I could laugh and cry at the same time). I'm not good at this, got to get over it and keep going..

You will keep going - because in adverse circumstances that’s what we do. But you ARE good at this - you’re awesome at it actually....

Tom - give yourself a break - the human spirit is only capable of ‘strength’ for a finite period of time. Emotions cannot be suppressed indefinitely - if you need to cry, find a quiet place to do it away from those you want to protect - likewise find ways to express anger....

thomasross20

Thanks, Richard. 
I actually had a similar episode where I did vent, I forget if I even mentioned it before. Going to try and put this to the back of my mind to focus on the important stuff .. but try and make sure they repair the hole!

richardhomer

thomasross20 said:

Thanks, Richard. 
I actually had a similar episode where I did vent, I forget if I even mentioned it before. Going to try and put this to the back of my mind to focus on the important stuff .. but try and make sure they repair the hole!

I’ve a friend whose hatred for Virgin is enormous - he’s been pissed about royally by them - so by a means get it sorted. I suppose what I’m really saying is don’t let this get to you excessively - but if it provides a ‘safety valve’ then well and good....

thomasross20

Sheena's eyes are starting to turn a little yellow , this is really crap

snakemanStoo

Shit.  I wish I could do more than send good vibes.  Also, sorry that sounds really twee.

p90fool

Thomas I've just returned to this forum after a long break and have spent hours reading through this thread, and just want to say I think you and Sheena are amazing people.

I feel genuinely humbled, and although my best wishes are of little practical use I'm sending them anyway, and would like to say thank you for being who you are. 

underdog

thomasross20 said:

Sheena's eyes are starting to turn a little yellow , this is really crap

I'm so sorry, like most on here I feel a bit useless reading this thread when all I can offer is words that do nothing. I think you're being genuinely amazing through this and doing everything you can for the woman you love.

I wish there was something someone could do for you both

thomasross20

Thanks guys, appreciated as always. Just trying to treasure every second ..

EDIT: I read this blog a while back but reading it over again, I can see a lot of the signs. Bit of a me-mail and also so I don't forget the link. Lots of things I can do to "prepare:"
https://community.macmillan.org.uk/cancer_types/liver-secondary-cancer/f/94/t/22548

The steroids, the bloated face and legs (and more, in Sheena's case), the syringe driver medicine, oramorph, the anti-sickness tablets, the severe tiredness and jaundice... it's like reading what's happening here. Have to say usually we are very blunt and open with each other so I would usually relay things like this to her but not any more. I'm keep this one to myself - nothing but sweet stories for her now..

Moominpapa

Stay strong man - you can let go afterwards. I wish there was more we could do for you than just give these comments, but I hope they help.

thomasross20

Thank you - I've been reading some poems (never thought I'd say that). The "invictus" poem and also "if" by Kipling, made aware to me by a friend. Also these (linked to just one but there are many.. I like this one):
https://www.familyfriendpoems.com/poem/son-died-of-cancer-goodnight-our-hero

littlegreenman

I'm ashamed to admit that I do sometimes avoid this thread as it does stir up painful memories.

But then I am always reminded of the amazing courage that my Mum showed when she had to travel this journey. And also of the support this gang of reprobates afforded me back then. And that does allow me to smile in reflection.

My heart absolutely fucking breaks for you Tigger, day by day dude, day by day.

thomasross20

Good on you and your mum for being courageous   (yet also sorry to hear..)

Eyes a bit more yellow, legs very swollen. Got out in the wheelchair this morning, I bought some of the "prep items" from the list, got her a nice ice cream cone, and then got a few "build a bears" with personalised messages for me and the girls for after. Just going to cut the grass while she sleeps and if she feels up to it later, maybe get to the cinema. Want to do Chinese lanterns with her but keep missing the chance. Tried to write a poem this morning but it wasn't happening. 

Right, grass-cutting time!
--> brand new lawnmower seems to have died. Aaaassrrgghhh

Cabicular

I'm the same
tough to read. I had a thread in a car forum I was in that mirrors this when my wife was dying
You're doing better than I did mate
Its all about the patient now
much love to you all

Evilmags

You are doing an amazing job and any woman would be very lucky to ever find a man like you. Stay strong and if you need anything holler out. 

thomasross20

As I wrote in another thread, just had to get an on-call nurse to the house for injectible oxynorm... Despite her taking 20ml of the stuff a day, orally. Her legs are so puffy, in fact her whole body, her legs are 'strapped" to try and prevent effects of fluid build up. Stair lift got put in yesterday, and just in time as she could barely get up the stairs. Eyes a tad more yellow. A hospital bed is on order and should get it in a few weeks. We'll keep it downstairs. Forgot to mention really bad nose bleeds that don't stop.

richardhomer

Genuinely mate - this thread breaks my heart.... 

Alnico

richardhomer said:

Genuinely mate - this thread breaks my heart.... 

+1

thomasross20

She's so brave and loving and making sure the girls are ok. There are a million people getting in touch. Work is on the fringes of the mind (in that a few folk are in touch and I'm aware I'll have to go back at some point, but it's low priority right now obviously), you mourn a person as they go through this, a million thoughts and feelings go through your mind from different perspectives.. it's definitely tougher now, for me, personally.. but I'm aware the worst is yet to come. Taking good care of her.

guitars4you

I'm never sure what to say and can only offer words of comfort - be strong and brave for Sheena and don't forget to look after yourself

I've a friend died a few days ago and the funeral last Monday - My neighbour lost his wife a few weeks ago and barely 50 - His dog died today - His eldest daughter is at Uni and his youngest daughter will be at Uni this time next year - So he's gone from a house that was full, to soon that will be just him - Feel so sorry for the guy and he is a genuine nice guy  

I keep looking at this blog and it just reminds me how helpless we all are at times - You are in my thoughts

thomasross20

Oh no , that's awful!
Goes to show.. splash that bit of cash, don't wait until a retirement you might never see to do those things you always wanted to. Work/other "pressures" will never be the same compared to this. Talk about perspective.