****** TRAVEL FUND FOR @ thomasross20 or DOSH FOR THE ROSS FUND....PLEASE READ ******

TTony

Bridgehouse said:

How he was keeping it together over the weekend I have no idea. He's a braver, better man than me. I was properly in awe of him and how he is handling what he's going through.

I have to agree.

PVO_Dave

Funds sent, enjoy Disney Land

FreddieVanHalen

Funds sent in payment for @RocknRollDave 's charity auction.

Best wishes to Thomas and Sheena.

thomasross20

Crikey thanks guys! Very nice words  
This has definitely been a load off - just totting up the wedding, house move costs, solicitor costs, and the realisation that my junk car needs to be replaced soon - it's an eye-opener, so it's good I don't have the holiday money to worry about - thank you so much from all our family and friends! Everybody is genuinely amazed when I tell them about this.

Last night we OK'd the power attorney docs, made edits to the draft wills and I went over the legal docs for the house move. And amended the catering choices and got back to the videographer with the plan for the wedding day. Oh, and work lol.. 

RocknRollDave

FreddieVanHalen said:

Funds sent in payment for @RocknRollDave 's charity auction.

Best wishes to Thomas and Sheena.

Seconded. 

ragingben

I'm very sorry to read this thread Thomas, hope my small donation can help contribute towards Disney land, hope you guys have a great time away full of happy memories. Awesome photos earlier in the thread by the way, a very smiley couple by the looks of things! 

Bridgehouse

Added £15 for payment for the pedal from @DrCornelius ;

thomasross20

Sent this to another forumite but it's relevant for this thread. Thanks for your donations and well wishes!

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Was at a friend's tonight but he doesn't quite get "it" - he's largely concerned with money and doesn't get why people get married and is a little TOO practical, if you get my drift. He is of no comfort but he's the only one who keeps in touch. He never ever asks how Sheena is feeling, for example. Total opposite to Sheena and I. Sheena is all heart, a big cuddler. Caring and sharing are part of her nature. I find I'm berating myself as I can't seem to bring myself to tears. Instead I feel very numb just thinking about how lonely I'm going to be without her. Really bloody lonely.

Quite a few folk querying if I'm doing the right thing "for me" by taking on the girls when their "real dad" is still around. I recognise that he has to step up but people questioning this gets my back up. Abandoning the girls would be to desecrate Sheena's memory. People don't get that we've been together almost a decade, with the girls in the same flat. They don't really "know" us - do people think this was just some fling and that I should now bugger off to California or something!? I get they that they're looking out for me but it feels like they've insulted our last 9 years together like it has been nothing. It's been everything to me. The age gap gives our relationship a fantastic angle which works really well - we really are two peas in a pod and I'm going to be totally f#*@ed without her.

Been super busy. Going to Disney week after next. Thank heavens for the forum fund (serious!!) as I have spent a shit load on wedding, house etc.. and if I need a new car (mine making noises) I'm thinking about selling some gear to ease the financial burden. 

Her side has been hurting a fair bit. She's been snappy with me, but they say it's always the ones you love that gets snapped at. So today I gave her lots of space. 

Just feel numb.

Gadget

Don't really know what to say mate. Do what you feel is right and don't worry what anyone else thinks, is my advice.Try to enjoy the holiday and wedding as best you can and feel free to come and chat to us when you want. Unlike some social media communities, this forum is made up of real people (as proved by the recent gathering at the guitar show!) and we're all right here for you

DefaultM

thomasross20 said:

Sent this to another forumite but it's relevant for this thread. Thanks for your donations and well wishes!

-----------

Was at a friend's tonight but he doesn't quite get "it" - he's largely concerned with money and doesn't get why people get married and is a little TOO practical, if you get my drift. He is of no comfort but he's the only one who keeps in touch. He never ever asks how Sheena is feeling, for example. Total opposite to Sheena and I. Sheena is all heart, a big cuddler. Caring and sharing are part of her nature. I find I'm berating myself as I can't seem to bring myself to tears. Instead I feel very numb just thinking about how lonely I'm going to be without her. Really bloody lonely.

Quite a few folk querying if I'm doing the right thing "for me" by taking on the girls when their "real dad" is still around. I recognise that he has to step up but people questioning this gets my back up. Abandoning the girls would be to desecrate Sheena's memory. People don't get that we've been together almost a decade, with the girls in the same flat. They don't really "know" us - do people think this was just some fling and that I should now bugger off to California or something!? I get they that they're looking out for me but it feels like they've insulted our last 9 years together like it has been nothing. It's been everything to me. The age gap gives our relationship a fantastic angle which works really well - we really are two peas in a pod and I'm going to be totally f#*@ed without her.

Been super busy. Going to Disney week after next. Thank heavens for the forum fund (serious!!) as I have spent a shit load on wedding, house etc.. and if I need a new car (mine making noises) I'm thinking about selling some gear to ease the financial burden. 

Her side has been hurting a fair bit. She's been snappy with me, but they say it's always the ones you love that gets snapped at. So today I gave her lots of space. 

Just feel numb.

You will get shit like this all the time. I got together with my wife when her son was 10 months old and we were friends for years before. He's nearly 6 now so I've been there pretty much every day of his life, certainly more than his Dad has.

I went to a gig with one of my best friends from school and on the way back we were talking and I can't remember why, but we got on to the subject of my step son and how I'd done something or other for him. His reaction was "why? Its not your spunk".

I've not really bothered with him since that.

thomasross20

Thanks @Gadget - this place is totally brilliant - hope to make more meet-ups in future.

@DefaultM that's terrible to hear
What is wrong with some guys!? 
I had a similar thing once (in fact, no... this happened twice with two separate uni "pals")... guys I knew from uni for years. I'd been seeing Sheena about 7-8 years in both instances and they said practically the same thing at different times.. which was, when I mentioned she had teenage stepdaughters, they both asked if they were "tidy" and "would you?" etc etc... and I'm like "WTF!?" - just because they're not "mine" - such a juvenile thing to say. Who are these people?? Maybe they need to grow up. I wonder how they'd react if they had girls and I said that to them in 15 years time or whatever. Honestly!
Women are much less likely to make comments like that - in fact I'd say these days my best friends are women!

Alnico

Tommy,

I've replied via PM.

TTony

thomasross20 said:

 Maybe they need to grow up.

"Maybe" ???

Just keep on doing what you're doing TR, including talking to us here.

Bridgehouse

@thomasross20 - I have a step son. Although he's grown up now - he's part of our family just like anyone else. 

Your "friends" are being dicks.

Alnico

I have a step son too.
I was in a relationship with his mother for the years between him being 7 and 15.
After we split up, i was the only person he'd ever been able to call Dad and the only one who'd been a Dad to him so we agreed that nothing changes.

He's 23 now, him and his Wife have just had their first Baby and he calls me "Granda'" now, just like she's my Granddaughter. 

It's what you make it.

speshul91

Ive got 3 step daughters. My mrs is 11 years older than me, the people that have got problems with that aren't worth having around don't let them get you down is what i say. 

thomasross20

Thanks, guys! Good to hear some similar kind of stories there - and yeah, I need better friends in my immediate vicinity!

boogieman

I've got a stepson, likewise my wife has two stepchildren through me. They all get treated as family. Your "friends" sound like dicks Tigger. 

flumpet

Donation sent

thomasross20

Guys & gals - don't leave things too late like I have (wedding, house, general commitment and wallet-opening type things) because I tell you, I'm going to regret delaying Sheena's happiness in those things the rest of my life regardless of what anybody says. Sometimes you just need to surrender and do it. I wish I could go back in time and tell my younger self this. Do it today while you have the chance and be happy!