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If you can learn all this stuff but your problem is more about getting your fingers to work more fluidly, there are exercises and routines you can do to massively help that.
The best one and one I use daily is this.
On the bottom E string, play
Fret 1
Fret 2
Fret 3
Fret 4
Then move up to the 5th A string and do the same
Then the 4th D string
Then the 3rd G string
Then the 2nd B string
Then the top E string
Use all 4 fingers on your left/right hand (Depending on left or right handed guitarist) so your index finger covers Fret 1, your middle finger Fret 2, your ring finger Fret 3 and your little finger Fret 4.
Now go back down that run to where you started.
It doesn't sound nice, it's not supposed to it's just an exercise to get your fingers in shape and moving.
When you can do that, move everything up 1 fret so:
Fret 2
Fret 3
Fret 4
Fret 5
Up and then back down.
Go all the way to starting on Fret12
Now come all the way back down.
Do that whole thing once a day and after a week you'll see a MASSIVE improvement in how dextrous your fingers are.
You've probably been doing it all using downstrokes with your pick.
Now, after a week or two of doing it and/or when you can do it without making a mistake (Probably a month or so), try doing it using alternate picking (Up/Down) so on each string there are 4 notes and you'll play
Down/Up
Down/Up
.......per string.
Now repeat the whole thing using alternate picking and you're training both hands to work in sync.
None of what I've typed here is complicated to understand or difficult to actually do but if you do everything I've just said, you'' find yourself hungry to learn more and MUCH more competent as a player.
Enjoy.
......Or don't and don't do any of it.
It's YOUR choice.
Hmmm..
I feel the same way about my playing.. Well my lead playing anyway.. I took to rhythm playing pretty easy so am quite confident with that.. But my lead playing sucks... And when I say that I mean im nowhere near as good as I should be..
I have wondered myself what has stopped me and I think its just a physical limitation with my fingers... I cant seem to get them to move in the right way.. Like say im playing a pentatonic scale, I kind of stutter between strings and it just never sounds like a smooth transition.. Ive tried lessons, that didn't help... ive looked in to techniques like alternate picking and three note per string scales (cos im not very good with my pinkie) and nothing seems to have helped.. I still sound like I always do. Plus im a by ear player so never really learn things properly which probably doesn't help.
And as mentioned.. People who cant play always tell me im good.. But I have ears.. I know good lead playing when I hear it and I don't hear it coming from me... The thing is im not saying I cant play.. I just never quite crossed that barrier where I go from ok too Ohhhhh that's tasty.... Ive kind of come to terms with it now.. Been playing on and off since I was 11 and am now in my early 40s.. Ive been in bands, done gigs and a few recording sessions so its not like I never did anything but I cant see things changing now and im ok with it.. I haven't been in a band for 20 years, I don't play out (even though id kind of like too) so it is what it is I guess if I had been in a band longer or jammed more regularly the motivation to get better and play more would have been there. But it wasn't and isn't.
Id say one of the main points of playing is to have fun and at least I can say I do that..... Technical ability should be secondary to that I think.
http://www.rabswoodguitars.co.uk/
https://www.facebook.com/RabsWoodGuitars/
My Youtube page
Learn your scales.
It'll take a little while, but it is doable.
Incidentally, OP, I'm pretty much in the same boat as you. I took lessons for a couple of years, which was handy, but my teacher kept on doing theory, and not focusing on techniques.
Ringleader of the Cambridge cartel, pedal champ and king of the dirt boxes (down to 21)
My top tip: play with others. Nothing improves you more
I reckon if we did a straw poll of the membership here then you'd be in the top quarter in terms of technical knowledge.
If it helps at all I go through periods of not being happy with my playing.
I've also been fired from bands.
This is what being a musician is.
The trick is to find ways to rationalise your way out of it.
I do that through working hard at it.
Thanks to various people in the thread for the compliments.
I've been lucky to be able to spend large periods of my life just playing music.
I spent 10 years working a day job and my playing was terrible during that time- the last thing anyone wants to do after working a day job and commuting is to sit down and practice- I did my best but it was very hard.
If this was a slightly different discussion, one where someone was trying to ask me how to be a pro player then my advice would be 'quit your day job- get a part time job working 4 hours a day and play the rest of the time'.
I did this from 1991 until 1994 and it was essentially when I learned how to practice.
Balancing a day job and family responsibilities is hard though.
My final bit of advice is to take the pressure away.
This is a choice.
Music should be fun, especially for people who are doing it as a hobby.
Try not to compare yourself to people who have the rarified position to be able to spend all of their time playing music.
I like to ride motorcycles- it is basically my hobby.
I'm not a bad rider but I am ridiculously slow compared to Rossi or Marquez.
It isn't a fair comparison though so I don't compare.
I enjoy motorcycling as a distraction from my life.
If I wanted to get good at motorcycling then I'd have had to have started a lot younger and even then I'm too big a guy to be a professional racer.
You don't have to be 'a hack guitarist'- take away the negative labels.
In fact take away all the labels- just play and enjoy it.
Music is enough of a demanding mistress anyway without putting yourself under more pressure.
Studio: https://www.voltperoctave.com
Music: https://www.euclideancircuits.com
Me: https://www.jamesrichmond.com
point in fact, every time I've seen Metheny, Julian Lage, and all the musicians that I admire play is that they have the excitement of a 12 year old playing in a punk band in their garage. Fuck the scales, your time, just play what you enjoy first. The other things will follow
As has been said, enjoy the sounds you create.
@octatonic, and the others who say something similar - I think that's the problem, I don't find it fun any more, and that's really what I'm asking for, is how to make it fun again because when I look at the things I want to find fun about playing the guitar, it turns out I'm rubbish at them.
So I need to find a way to work at those so that they are fun, and then it'll feel like I'm getting somewhere again.
If you can see what I mean, because when I read that back, I'm not sure it makes sense. I know what I meant, anyway.
I'd also be willing to bet that when you're "practicing" you're not, really. Practicing properly is a skill, most people are pretty bad at it. Hopefully your teacher can help you learn how to do it more effectively.
1. Take a break and come back to it with renewed vigour.
The risk is that you will never go back to it, which might be fine for you, I really cannot say.
2. Play through the tough times.
Double down, be disciplined and work hard at it and hope that you eventually enjoy it again.
The risk is that you will have a mental breakdown.
I've done both and I am certain that for me the second option is the better one.
The main reason is if you take a break then you will be further behind than you are now.
If you buckle down and play through it then at least you will have the digital skill maintained, even if you don't enjoy it.
I can't say what you should do but I do know that taking a break is best if you have a fixed date in mind.
I don't take breaks- even on holidays I take drum sticks and a practice pad, I sometimes take a guitar.
Finally, consider learning another instrument.
Learning drums really was the best thing I've done for my musicianship.
I'm a better guitarist for it and I have a new skill that means I can drop into most bands and just play.
Studio: https://www.voltperoctave.com
Music: https://www.euclideancircuits.com
Me: https://www.jamesrichmond.com
But then maybe I'd have a better chance of getting in a band again if I was a keyboard player anyway, who knows?
Well I think this is why a lot of us buy lots of different gear.. A new pedal or amp or even guitar.. Its about experimenting with sound... Finding the things you like, what works with you and your style of playing and what inspires you to be creative. Playing with stuff like delay pedals, phasers, octave pedals and loopers is quite fun..
Playing scales is boring and depressing... Have more fun with it first, find your sound and then add the frills later.
Also as has been mentioned.. You learn more playing with other people and if you cant (cos I don't really have anyone to play out with) play along to backing tracks or CDs, its a more fun method than siting playing scales to a metronome (a beat to play too is very important in practicing).
Maybe even take a short brake and come back fresh, that can help.
Ive posted this before but if you haven't seen it, its a great watch and his advice is spot on
http://www.rabswoodguitars.co.uk/
https://www.facebook.com/RabsWoodGuitars/
My Youtube page
The guitar is a tough habit to recapture after being away so long. My learners who came to me after they tried to play or used to play find it so hard to relearn things they already knew. In those years they weren't playing they could have at least retained that information if not, progressed.
There'll be bumpy patches on the road for sure, but if you genuinely love the instrument, don't give up. The rewards are so good.
I've played with a bunch of keyboardists- they were always massively more capable than the requirement of the music.
If it is something you want to do then go for it- you could get to gig standard in relatively short order.
I will say though that piano is more work than guitar, and much less forgiving.
The main reason I learned drums is I could never find a drummer who would stick around for that long and all my drummer mates were busy working and getting paid while all the guitarists were scratching around for unpaid gigs.
If you want to be gigging then guitar is the worst instrument to be good at- there are so many guys doing it and rock music is much more forgiving of hack guitar playing.
Drumming is one of those things where it is easy to learn the basics and then you spend the rest of your life trying not to suck.
I love that about it- it is the impossible-to-climb never-ending-mountain.
Studio: https://www.voltperoctave.com
Music: https://www.euclideancircuits.com
Me: https://www.jamesrichmond.com
Unfortunately, I have neighbours, and unlike drums, most electric keyboards have headphone sockets.
So maybe find some music you just don't normally play?