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seriously though, thank you everybody I couldn't have done it without you lot.
Adam
A fine result. All the best Adam.
Since I've moved in I've managed to stop ciggies and today is the first day fully "smoke" free.
As my head gets a bit more level I'll be back posting, this might end up turning into a into a long moany, venty thread though.
As regards a 'long moany, venty thread' there's a bit of advice I was given years ago that has served me well through adult life:
"In every disadvantage look for the advantage".
There very often is one and it helps you stay positive when things outwardly don't look so good.
the most important progress is with my mental health, i found a doctor that actually listens and wants to do more than just throw tablets at me, while he is sorting the medical side i have got an appointment on Thursday with a mental health organisation to see what support they can get me, this was a massive hurdle before, dealing with a doctor that wouldn't give me strong medication down to being a recovering alcoholic, that's another thing i had some amazing support with but anyway back to the point, it wasn't until i hit my teens that i realized something wasn't right but was scared to ask for help. i didn't get help until 2014, 5 years later i have never been assessed properly, i've always known it was more than just depression and anxiety, 3 years later starting a course of cbt, i was told i score VERY highly for post traumatic stress disorder from childhood experiences, so actually getting the proper help and more importantly support is a HUGE thing for me.
a few close friends have said i am looking better in myself, that is a massive boost to my self esteem, i've cut out all the negative people in my life, including a couple of family members. i might not have that many friends anymore but i know every single one of them has got my back and my best interests at heart, i've re-connected with a few old friends, i've even managed to go to a couple of parties with them, that is FUCKING HUGE for me,they are usually pretty chilled and i know most of the people there but also there's always at least 2 or 3 there i can go for a walk with if things do get too much.
now i'm feeling a bit more stable i am going to make sure i pick my guitar up and actually learn to play properly, i haven't been on here that much but i'm verrry slowly starting to use social media more, i'm noticing when i need to take a break from things now though. i can identify triggers slightly easier now life isn't as hectic, so hopefully before too long i'll be here bugging you lot all the time lol.
thank-you all again for what you all did for me.
adam
I did a round of CBT in December and January. It helped me. They scored me as having moderate to severe depression, brought on through the stress of huge life changes in a short period of time, more or less.
Despite what some of the XXXXXXXXXXXX around here think, I'm in a massively different place to where I was even 8 months ago. I'm actually very happy, which is quite rare for me, and I'm able to sustain it by using the tools I learned about during CBT - the cyclical feedback loop of depression+anxiety+low mood+low energy+no effort+back to depression+anxiety, etc.. etc...
I used to "need" social media on some level. I can live without it now. Real life has a lot more appeal to me these days, and I love the changes that have happened in my life.
Feet up, music on with mates en route and a massive thanks for all the support guys, I'd be stuffed without you guys.
I've read this thread a few times and the messages people sent me on PayPal when I've struggled, people here really are amazing, @Alnico has been awesome this time last year we were very good friends, hes more like my big brother now, but seriously, I'm back and ready for whatever life throws at me now.