"Cr*p Things Bands Do"

RocknRollDave

Getting the crowd to sing the songs for them.

OK in VERY small doses, but Dave Gahan of Depeche Mode ought to get 50% of his fee, given how much of the set he DOESN'T sing.

Teetonetal

EricTheWeary said:

Saying 'our new album is the best thing we've ever done' so, damn, the last ten I bought by you are all crap then  

No. That would be "this is the first good thing we've done"

I still think the shittiest thing is turning up very late to a gig or being wasted at it. Especially now tickets are so expensive.

stimpsonslostson

EricTheWeary said:

Hoof said:

EricTheWeary said:

Our singer has a way of killing the atmosphere with his stories. If it's a song with a guitar intro I usually just start it whereas the others tend to defer to him.

On the other hand I saw Show of Hands last year and every song had a brilliant story before it. All seated audience listening to mournful folk tunes it needed that balance. 

Talking to the audience should be used as a way to fill gaps. You don't create gaps to tell a story. It's a musical performance, not a spoken word gig. 

I think it just depends. If it's a performance in which the spoken bit is part of the whole that seems valid to me. Show of Hands, for example, did a couple of traditional folk  ballads and some explanation helped my enjoyment of them. That's different than a crap joke told to fill in time because the guitarist has gone out of tune. 

Ginger Wildheart is great at chatting with the crowd- telling stories & jokes etc, especially at his acoustic shows. 

impmann

Carrying on gigging when they are clearly past it and are only doing so because all their royalties got hoovered up their left nostril or paying for expensive divorces.

Not playing hits but playing "new stuff" all night.

Old bands wearing clothing their younger selves may have carried off but the last 20+ years haven't enhanced the look.

Drum solos. Just. Never. Let. Them. Do. It.

Bass solos. See drum solos.

Guitar solo spots - otherwise known as the guitarist's ego enhancement spot. Nigel Tuffnel did it better than you. See drum solos.

Extended jams that 'introduce' the band members. Contrived shit.

Masks, head-dresses, animal costumes and "exotic" dancers... the 70s were long ago, and it was shit then too.

Guitarists who don't know how to turn down their guitars between songs, so you get feedback squeels or humming/buzzing.

Bass players who use wha pedals or have trem systems.

Spandex. Nobody needs to see that. End of.

Fans (as in the rotary blowing device) positioned in front of the guitarist to blow their hair back during solos - I saw this with a covers band recently in a pub and the guy honestly would use the footswitch to kick it in for the solos. Cnut.

Changing guitars for every song, despite no change in the guitar sound or the use of an alternate tuning.

Drummers with excessively large drum kits that only ever play three drums and two cymbals all night, except for their 'solo spot' or the inevitable extended ending to the final song, see below.

Extended endings to songs - I know it "whips the crowd into a frenzy"... actually it doesn't, you look like tits and its boring. Stop it. Same goes for 'false endings'... no you aren't being clever/funny etc, just play the fucking song.

Volume - we all like to be able to hear the music, so don't make it so loud that you can't actually hear it properly any more as your ears compress it into mush.

Drum sounds - wtf is it with sound engineers at rock gigs? Why do they make the drums sound so fucking horrible? Drums don't sound like that when you stand next to a kit, so please stop it.

Engineers with hearing aids/bad sound - genuinely, I'm seeing more of this as these guys get older. If the engineer has got age or noise related roll-off going on, the sound will be bad - normally really harsh top end. See first comment about carrying once you are past it.

Giving interviews with guitar magazines droning on about using vintage fucking guitars/amps. I read an interview with one of the big metal bands (can't remember which) who blathered on about how they rented in this "amazing" vintage guitar and these "incredible" vintage amps to add "colour" and "texture". Fact is, the album sounded the same as normal and it was just some twaddle to keep the journo amused.

Backing vocals that aren't in tune do not make things sound 'better'. Ever. So stop it.

Keyboard players - when sound checking, please ensure your volume controls are at maximum. Most of the cheeky bastards don't, so they can keep turning up through the night.

Sax players - learn the importance of the phrase "shut the fuck up". That is all.

Dopesick

I bet you're a laugh at gigs.

RocknRollDave

Dopesick said:

I bet you're a laugh at gigs.

I think he's spot on, meself 

Nunogilberto

impmann said:

Carrying on gigging when they are clearly past it and are only doing so because all their royalties got hoovered up their left nostril or paying for expensive divorces.

Not playing hits but playing "new stuff" all night.

Old bands wearing clothing their younger selves may have carried off but the last 20+ years haven't enhanced the look.

Drum solos. Just. Never. Let. Them. Do. It.

Bass solos. See drum solos.

Guitar solo spots - otherwise known as the guitarist's ego enhancement spot. Nigel Tuffnel did it better than you. See drum solos.

Extended jams that 'introduce' the band members. Contrived shit.

Masks, head-dresses, animal costumes and "exotic" dancers... the 70s were long ago, and it was shit then too.

Guitarists who don't know how to turn down their guitars between songs, so you get feedback squeels or humming/buzzing.

Bass players who use wha pedals or have trem systems.

Spandex. Nobody needs to see that. End of.

Fans (as in the rotary blowing device) positioned in front of the guitarist to blow their hair back during solos - I saw this with a covers band recently in a pub and the guy honestly would use the footswitch to kick it in for the solos. Cnut.

Changing guitars for every song, despite no change in the guitar sound or the use of an alternate tuning.

Drummers with excessively large drum kits that only ever play three drums and two cymbals all night, except for their 'solo spot' or the inevitable extended ending to the final song, see below.

Extended endings to songs - I know it "whips the crowd into a frenzy"... actually it doesn't, you look like tits and its boring. Stop it. Same goes for 'false endings'... no you aren't being clever/funny etc, just play the fucking song.

Volume - we all like to be able to hear the music, so don't make it so loud that you can't actually hear it properly any more as your ears compress it into mush.

Drum sounds - wtf is it with sound engineers at rock gigs? Why do they make the drums sound so fucking horrible? Drums don't sound like that when you stand next to a kit, so please stop it.

Engineers with hearing aids/bad sound - genuinely, I'm seeing more of this as these guys get older. If the engineer has got age or noise related roll-off going on, the sound will be bad - normally really harsh top end. See first comment about carrying once you are past it.

Giving interviews with guitar magazines droning on about using vintage fucking guitars/amps. I read an interview with one of the big metal bands (can't remember which) who blathered on about how they rented in this "amazing" vintage guitar and these "incredible" vintage amps to add "colour" and "texture". Fact is, the album sounded the same as normal and it was just some twaddle to keep the journo amused.

Backing vocals that aren't in tune do not make things sound 'better'. Ever. So stop it.

Keyboard players - when sound checking, please ensure your volume controls are at maximum. Most of the cheeky bastards don't, so they can keep turning up through the night.

Sax players - learn the importance of the phrase "shut the fuck up". That is all.

Not a live music fan are we?

Hoof

stimpsonslostson said:

EricTheWeary said:

Hoof said:

EricTheWeary said:

Our singer has a way of killing the atmosphere with his stories. If it's a song with a guitar intro I usually just start it whereas the others tend to defer to him.

On the other hand I saw Show of Hands last year and every song had a brilliant story before it. All seated audience listening to mournful folk tunes it needed that balance. 

Talking to the audience should be used as a way to fill gaps. You don't create gaps to tell a story. It's a musical performance, not a spoken word gig. 

I think it just depends. If it's a performance in which the spoken bit is part of the whole that seems valid to me. Show of Hands, for example, did a couple of traditional folk  ballads and some explanation helped my enjoyment of them. That's different than a crap joke told to fill in time because the guitarist has gone out of tune. 

Ginger Wildheart is great at chatting with the crowd- telling stories & jokes etc, especially at his acoustic shows. 

I think acoustic shows are a different matter, especially if the artist in question is not normally one for low-key performances. It's been said before but the intimacy/hanging out with a mate feel of a small acoustic gig suits it very well.

Foo Fighters are annoying for this. They'd get through twice the material (and they have enough) if Dave didn't tell long-winded stories while playing an apeggiated version of the riff. 

guitarfishbay

Changing guitars every song = starting each song with an in tune guitar, with no time spent holding up the show tuning on stage.

A lot of stage banter, extended intros, solo spots, getting the crowd to sing.... it's partly vocal stamina management... the human voice can only do so much work... people get tired, there's tour fatigue (look at the schedules of some bands, they're playing most nights of a month in some periods), people get older...

I definitely agree regarding volume.  I actually think for some styles they might as well just suggest everyone wear earplugs so they can crank the subs (anything EDM/Dub etc).  With some rock bands it feels like it could be a little quieter and still sound awesome and have a great vibe, instead of being painful without earplugs.

guitarfishbay

I also feel like maybe I'm not the right person for this thread... lol

RobDavies

Not so much bands but record companies insisting on releasing everything on vinyl as a double album when it would easily fit in one disc - and then charging £25 for the privilege.  

impmann

Nunogilberto said:

impmann said:

Carrying on gigging when they are clearly past it and are only doing so because all their royalties got hoovered up their left nostril or paying for expensive divorces.

Not playing hits but playing "new stuff" all night.

Old bands wearing clothing their younger selves may have carried off but the last 20+ years haven't enhanced the look.

Drum solos. Just. Never. Let. Them. Do. It.

Bass solos. See drum solos.

Guitar solo spots - otherwise known as the guitarist's ego enhancement spot. Nigel Tuffnel did it better than you. See drum solos.

Extended jams that 'introduce' the band members. Contrived shit.

Masks, head-dresses, animal costumes and "exotic" dancers... the 70s were long ago, and it was shit then too.

Guitarists who don't know how to turn down their guitars between songs, so you get feedback squeels or humming/buzzing.

Bass players who use wha pedals or have trem systems.

Spandex. Nobody needs to see that. End of.

Fans (as in the rotary blowing device) positioned in front of the guitarist to blow their hair back during solos - I saw this with a covers band recently in a pub and the guy honestly would use the footswitch to kick it in for the solos. Cnut.

Changing guitars for every song, despite no change in the guitar sound or the use of an alternate tuning.

Drummers with excessively large drum kits that only ever play three drums and two cymbals all night, except for their 'solo spot' or the inevitable extended ending to the final song, see below.

Extended endings to songs - I know it "whips the crowd into a frenzy"... actually it doesn't, you look like tits and its boring. Stop it. Same goes for 'false endings'... no you aren't being clever/funny etc, just play the fucking song.

Volume - we all like to be able to hear the music, so don't make it so loud that you can't actually hear it properly any more as your ears compress it into mush.

Drum sounds - wtf is it with sound engineers at rock gigs? Why do they make the drums sound so fucking horrible? Drums don't sound like that when you stand next to a kit, so please stop it.

Engineers with hearing aids/bad sound - genuinely, I'm seeing more of this as these guys get older. If the engineer has got age or noise related roll-off going on, the sound will be bad - normally really harsh top end. See first comment about carrying once you are past it.

Giving interviews with guitar magazines droning on about using vintage fucking guitars/amps. I read an interview with one of the big metal bands (can't remember which) who blathered on about how they rented in this "amazing" vintage guitar and these "incredible" vintage amps to add "colour" and "texture". Fact is, the album sounded the same as normal and it was just some twaddle to keep the journo amused.

Backing vocals that aren't in tune do not make things sound 'better'. Ever. So stop it.

Keyboard players - when sound checking, please ensure your volume controls are at maximum. Most of the cheeky bastards don't, so they can keep turning up through the night.

Sax players - learn the importance of the phrase "shut the fuck up". That is all.

Not a live music fan are we?

I love live music.

Genuinely.

:-)

Oh and if you need to change guitars every song because its out of tune either 1) your righthand technique is a touch heavy handed or 2) there's something wrong with your guitar.
However, I agree to a point - the issue I have is with guys who do it for vanity. For example there was a bland band (can't remember the name... they were that bland) on at one of the Hyde Park calling gigs where the vocalist changed guitars every song and for most of those songs it would hang around his neck unplayed while he "pulled shapes".

guitarfishbay

I dunno, guitars go out of tune all the time.  If someone does a particularly warm fart in the front row that'll be enough to send some instruments flat.

RocknRollDave

guitarfishbay said:

I dunno, guitars go out of tune all the time.  If someone does a particularly warm fart in the front row that'll be enough to send some instruments flat.

Which is why God invented Telecasters

Deadman

That Adele.
Those Maroon 5 lot.

When they make sound.

StageStruck

Force fans into buying expensive box sets of material they already have just to get the "Bonus Disc of Rare & Unreleased material". 

mike_l

impmann said:

Drum solos. Just. Never. Let. Them. Do. It.

Other than keeping the crowd going while the guitarist(s)/bassists change instruments. I saw Skid Row do this in the early 90's. This is the only acceptable time to do it.
Other than that I completely agree.

EricTheWeary

mike_l said:

impmann said:

Drum solos. Just. Never. Let. Them. Do. It.

Other than keeping the crowd going while the guitarist(s)/bassists change instruments. I saw Skid Row do this in the early 90's. This is the only acceptable time to do it.
Other than that I completely agree.

I think the oddest I ever saw was Krokus (really) in the early eighties when the rest of the band went off and the bassist did a percussion solo ( he had various things to hit set up at the side of the stage). The relevance of doing this in the middle of a heavy rock set has escaped me to this day. 

Headphones

While in general I agree with the drum solo point, there is an exception: Cozy Powell.

Worth a ticket even without whichever of the great 60s/70s/80s rock bands he was with at the tme.

PolarityMan

Good drum solos are fine. Most drummers think a solo is just playing a combination of 24 bar snare rolls and endless moby dick triplets are a solo though.