"Cr*p Things Bands Do"

TTBZ

impmann said:

Bass players who use wha pedals orhave trem systems.

But the bass in the verse of Calm Like A Bomb sounds so good on the live album.

Maxwell Murder is the exception to your bass solo rule as well.

boogieman

PolarityMan said:

Good drum solos are fine. Most drummers think a solo is just playing a combination of 24 bar snare rolls and endless moby dick triplets are a solo though.

If anyone thinks drum solos are all boring, they need to listen to Trilok Gurtu.

not_the_dj

If you're going to do a drum solo you may as well make it 15 mins, with an elaborate rollercoaster ride. 

impmann

not_the_dj said:

If you're going to do a drum solo you may as well make it 15 mins, with an elaborate rollercoaster ride. 

Could you imagine the planning meeting for that one...

"lads, I've got this great idea... now just hear me out...."

RocknRollDave

Exclusive version of the album available only through one retailer, e.g. iTunes only bonus tracks, or (for US c ustomers) Best Buy exclusive version.

BigMonka

Punk bands who carry on after the members have turned 25years old, I'm looking at Greenday, Blink182 etc. Playing songs about being wanking, messing round, and generally being dumb teenagers doesn't really fit with being in your mid 40s with a wife and kids at home

FarleyUK

RocknRollDave said:

Intro music.
Kill the house lights, crowd goes wild, intro tape starts...crowd goes wilder....intro tape carries on...crowd gets a bit restless....intro tape carries on...crowd starts shuffling their feet, coughing nervously.....intro tape carries on....

It's like having to stop foreplay to put a condom on and ...where are they? Oops wrong drawer.......argh, they're in here somewhere.....then fumbling over opening the wrapper and .......finally got it out of the wrapper........Is that inside out or is it the right way round or............Where were we...?

Mood killer.



And then when the tape FINALLY ends.......is it BOOM and into the first song? Nah, the band ambles slowly onto the stage, guitarist tests the guitar with a few braaaangs, the drummer hits the snare and a couple of toms, bassist plucks a string, singer eventually steps up to the mic and offers a polite "hello!".
What. Was. The. Fucking. Point?!

I've always said that if my band had an intro song, we'd go with Hello There by Cheap Trick - punchy as hell, fast, and only about 90 seconds long.

FarleyUK

RocknRollDave said:

Sporky said:

Telling stories on stage. Shut up and play.

Can be great, can be awful. I've never been *in* a band with anyone who could do it, but I saw Newton Faulkner once, who did it brilliantly. 

@english_bob ; Yeah, I guess I do!

Re the telling stories thing, depends entirely on the gig. Bono waffling on in a stadium, regardless of whatever it is he is saying, just kills the atmosphere. Big gigs need big gestures, not intimate chats.
Saw Andy Cairns of the band Therapy? do a solo acoustic show a couple of years back, in a small venue in Birmingham, telling stories between songs and interacting with the fans. Perfect setting for an intimate gig, and he made it feel like hanging out with your mate. Only works, though, if the story teller has a natural way with a story.

I always laugh at the story of U2 playing in Dublin - Bono stopped the band, and just started clapping slowly; this went on for about 30 seconds, and then he says "Every time I clap my hands, a child in Africa dies".

....to which a pissed up punter shouted "Well stop f*cking clapping then!".

Steel Panther went through a phase of spending 5 minutes between each song just talking. Really killed the mood, but I think they've learnt from that now.

Cirrus

http://www.snopes.com/music/artists/bono.asp

  

FarleyUK

impmann said:

Fans (as in the rotary blowing device) positioned in front of the guitarist to blow their hair back during solos - I saw this with a covers band recently in a pub and the guy honestly would use the footswitch to kick it in for the solos. Cnut.

......THAT'S AMAZING!!!

I'm so doing this during our Quo numbers now.

(I agree with all other points you made, BTW)

Reverend

BigMonka said:

Punk bands who carry on after the members have turned 25years old, I'm looking at Greenday, Blink182 etc. Playing songs about being wanking, messing round, and generally being dumb teenagers doesn't really fit with being in your mid 40s with a wife and kids at home

They should have stopped way before they were 25. 

Good punk bands however can go for years.